Survivor: Redemption Island Episode 12 Live Blog!

(Editor's Note: Ok, so I'm an idiot. I accidentally just wrote over an older post - for episode 10, I think - so there are some comments here that won't make sense. Also, you probably aren't seeing this post in your feed readers since it's a few weeks old. Oh well...)

Alright, my stalwart Survivor gang - it's time for another Live Blog!

Is it just me, or does it seem like this season has gone on forever? It ends Sunday (thankfully), and yet, this episode here is only the 12th. Have the seasons always been this short (and seemed so long)? I think not. Methinks the show needs larger gaps between seasons...

Anyway, on to the show!

7:00: Again with the four person "dual," eh? I suppose the contestants will have to balance 6-sided triangles on their laps later?

7:02: Hmmm...a scene involving Natalie crying...could that possibly have served as the "family crying moment of the season," meaning we might be dodging that bullet?

7:04: I swear to god, right as I'm typing that, the players are discovering phones with family messages. I'm fucking psychic (or I've just watched this show for a long time).

7:05: Hey! Andrea didn't turn into a ball of tears upon seeing her video. A Survivor first! Good for her.

7:06: Damnit, I wish Matt had been amongst the players getting a message. I want to know if it would have been from God.

7:07: Again, I'm psychic - he gets a turn after all. I'll be disappointed if Jesus himself doesn't tell Matt that he's really pulling for him in today's challenge.

7:09: I'm not sure if you're aware of this or not, but tonight's episode is brought to us by SPRINT...4G! How much you wanna bet me that the first commercial in the next break is from our friends at Sprint? The Epic 4G.

7:10: If I took a drink every time they said "Sprint," I'd be wasted already. And it's all been in the span of four minutes, so it'd be like shotgunning beers.

7:15: Are you kidding? Only one person is going home? So there'll be nine people left in the game, and we've got a finale on Sunday? WTF?

7:17: Bye, Steve. Didn't ya like how they showed Phil immediately after Jeff said Steve was going home?

7:18: What the shit? Is this series gonna be airing on the Trinity Broadcasting Network soon? I have my limits, people...

7:19: That said, while I don't know if it will make the least bit of difference for him, I think Mike made an excellent choice. Not only is it worth a shot, but it's not like he didn't get a) a message and b) to see his Mom in person. And if it curries him favor down the line, to go with the good karma he's already earned, all the better. I'm not sure if I could have made such a move, but I appreciate it nonetheless.

7:24: Okay, no need to correct me. I just got curious and looked it up, and I see that the finale is on the 15th, which means we've got next Wednesday as well. My bad! Though I think I also saw that the finale will start with 8 people - wow.

7:26: Grant's....sister's husband? Odd choice for a family member - I wonder if there's a story there. And Ralph's "friend?" I'm not sure that I would have guessed that Ralph was gay - cool!

7:28: Rob just talked about making a better life for his wife and kids. Yeah...I don't want to begrudge the guy that, but I can't imagine that they're exactly hurting for cash.

7:28: Spoiler - it will be unveiled that Grant is the second coming of Jesus later on in the show. He looks the part, right? And this is the Official Reality Show of Heaven, right?

7:29: Ok, I'll stop.

7:29: If the show stops first.

7:34: How can Grant not win this? The guy's probably spent more time running up and down stadium stairs than the rest of the players combined. Could anyone be more conditioned than he is?

7:38: Rob wins!

7:38: ...and then dies of heat exhaustion.

7:43: Crap, I was too busy skipping the commercials to notice - was that one commercial I called for Sprint or what?

7:48: But of course - Phil has been acting like a crazy fool all this time. I don't buy it. The guy might have had a moment of self-realization where he picked up on the fact that he's a nut that's almost universally loathed, but there's no way that everything he's said and done has been an act.

7:53: So what do we think? More bait and switch? It's gotta be Andrea, right? I say yay.

7:56: I really hope that those remaining five players are forced to do a vote amongst themselves next week, because I'd like to see if Rob can stick to his "keep Phil" strategy, and whether or not the pair of gals and/or the pair of non-Phil guys would dare to vote against each other. I can't think of another season in which we had a solid group of players that contained two even-solider [sic] pairs within it. It makes me hope for a four-person finale with the two pairs making it, just so they have to trash talk each other.

And then...

Survivor: Redemption Island Episode 8 Thoughts

* Phew! I almost had a Grant Attack at the end of the show tonight. I would not be pleased to see my favorite player get voted off sent to Redemption Island so soon. (Yes, I know, Robb - he's not really playing the game all that much, or at least probably not enough to your liking. Then again, he hasn't really had to just yet.)

* Seriously, how did Mike not win that challenge? The silver lining, however, is that I called Natalie as the winner pretty early on. Even a broken clock...

* Speaking of Mike, here's a sad bit of trivia for you: I just had to ask Mrs. Fletch to confirm that that was his name. I refer to him as "the boring guy."

* As for R.I. - I actually like what they've done by keeping it in play. It would be a bit lame had it shimmied its way into the sunset after half the season with its tail between its legs. But no need for that, for while it's not the EXTREME GAME CHANGER or jolt of energy the producers might have been hoping for, it is a welcome and meaningful addition to the game. Sure, it takes some of the edge off the game at this stage since the supposed jury members will not yet become jury members (so, what happens with Ponderosa?), but that's a relatively small price to pay.

* God's plan is for you to leave the game, Matt. Be sure to thank him on your way out (and while you're at it, can you tell Grant and Steve to relay that tidbit to athletes who only remember to thank their gods when they win, too?).

* Sarita is so fucking useless. Matt could not have had a bigger disadvantage given the duel that faced them, and she still managed to lose.

* Then again, I call shenanigans. Why and how did Matt have a bandage for his wittle boo-boo? I say nay to first aid unless it's a medical emergency! And if he got an infection and had to leave the game, so be it - the same crappy fate has befallen better players than he.

* I don't recall seeing who voted for you...did Andrea vote against Matt?

* First the customary post-merge feast, and then we see the players building a new shelter with plenty of tools and nails? What the shit, Survivor? Stop pampering these people - if I were an early season player of the game, I'd be pissed. (Don't tell me - I'm sure the tribe had leftover tools from some Sears/Craftsman reward earlier in the game, but they should have had a set time to use said tools, after which they were taken away or something. I don't care if that's inconsistent or illogical - just tired of seeing these "survivors" get shit handed to them constantly.)

* In case you missed it, People.com did an interview with the legendary Coach, asking him primarily about his dingbat-in-arms Phillip. It's a must-read. Here's the highlight:

Will more players now adopt mythological lingo because they see it's a great way to get airtime?
When I went out there, I said I wanted to change the game. It's funny that I changed it in ways that I didn't want to or expect to. But I don't really think the stuff that Phillip is saying is a part of who he is. I think that a lot of it is just a shtick that he's come up with.

And then...

Survivor: Redemption Island Episode 7 Thoughts

Just some quick hits from last night's ep. Hopefully will get to live blog this puppy next week...

* Couldn't both Sarita and Dave get the boot? Sarita - who resembles Kristen Wiig more and more each week - would get on my nerves real fast. It's no surprise that she's flustered and anxious during the challenges; she acts the exact same way all of the time. The lack of confidence she displays in everyday conversation is staggering - she seems to be the kind of person that needs constant reassuring about her place within a group. "Yes, Sarita, we like you. You have nothing to worry about."


Meanwhile, Dave, who appeared to be on the outs, was wise and just sat back and let Sarita do all of the begging and pleading...only she didn't really need to. I've no doubt that the lack of strength she displayed after the challenge served merely to remind her tribemates how weak she was at the challenges.

That said, I'll be shocked if Dave makes it very far in the game. Actually, if people think about it, he might go far, but he certainly won't win. He's a great selection to take to the final tribal council since he's a completely unlikable person. Aside from the easy and obvious answer - he's a lawyer - the guy just seems angry at the world and bitter. He's a know-it-all with a sense of entitlement that needs to be smacked around a bit. The guy just bugs me.

* And now with that said, there's this: Dave should have been voted off and not Sarita. First of all, it's almost a moot point, since the tribes are merging next week and Team Human Sweater will be down in the numbers no matter how you slice it. However, suppose that they somehow get it evened up - who would you rather have if you're Steve or Sweater: the loyal gal who's no threat to really win any challenges, or the lone wolf angry guy who's a self-professed "Master Puzzler?" Regardless of whether or not Dave is actually any good at puzzles, I'd rather have Sarita on my side.

* Jeff was trying a bit too hard at council. All this talk of a lack of cohesion in the tribe and a lack of trust and yada yada yada?? Zapatera held the lead at several points during the challenge and barely lost, losing largely because (yet again) they were going up against a freak athlete in Grant. It was just plain dumb luck, and sometimes - I know this is hard to believe - when you lose, you just lose, with no further analysis necessary.

* Speaking of Grant...attention remaining contestants: Unless you want to see him in the final three, vote him off now. I wouldn't be surprised to see Rob turn on him once he's sure the numbers are in his favor (if that ever happens).

* Just for commenter Robb: How much did you absolutely love it when Rob threw the clue into the volcano? Another case of the Bostonian brilliantly playing for the camera, I'll admit. I was calling for him to do it mere moments before he actually did.

And then...

Survivor: Redemption Island Episode 6 Thoughts

* Well, that was perhaps the easiest Immunity Challenge to predict ever, right? Right as it started, I said to myself and my family watching something along the lines of, "Uh, Grant was a wide receiver in the NFL - this thing's over." What does he do next but score 4 of his team's 5 needed points to win. That shit was riiiiiiigged.

* I understand that Steve is a bit older, but not only was he also an NFL player back in the day, but certainly appears to still be in shape. Until he starts limping around like Rupert did a few seasons back, you can't convince me that he's worse in challenges than Stephanie, Sarita, etc...

* There was much eye-rolling going all during the entire Redemption Island segment; that's all I'm saying. Congrats again to Reese Witherspoon's bizarro brother.

* Ok, now that Rob was forced to show his latest hidden idol clue to not only Grant but also Philip, can I please get apologies from anyone that defended his bizarre strategerie regarding last week's clue?

* Call me an old fogey, but I had to side with Crazy Former Postal Worker Philip when it came to his lashing out at the two "beauty pageant contestants." Cute as they may be, and poorly as he has handled the situation (for the textbook case in how to handle it, see Rob, Boston), he's still technically right. Stupid, but right.

* Has Dave dug himself a hole unnecessarily? By more or less outright siding with Stephanie via his public blasting of Sarita, followed by Stephanie's outing, he's put himself on an island with the remaining players in his tribe. Sarita may not be well-liked - and the calling out of her wanting to escape being the goat was hilarious - but as stated, she is loyal to the clan, and that appears to be the more valuable trait at this point. Not that I care too much - I don't particularly like either of them, or really anyone from that tribe outside of The Human Sweater.

And then...

Survivor: Redemption Island Episode 5 Thoughts

* With every passing week, Matt looks more and more like Reese Witherspoon to me. If he makes it to the family episode and she isn't on-hand as his representative, I'm going to be sorely disappointed.

* Ok, can someone explain Rob's actions with the hidden immunity idol clue to me? Yes, it was kind of funny while watching it. But mostly, while thinking about it afterward, it was pretty stupid. (I realize that my thinking about it afterward is also pretty stupid in its own respect.) Anyway, for a player that claims to be so smart (and usually acts as such), I'm a bit perplexed as to what all that did for him, aside from providing a few minutes of entertainment. First, he awkwardly escapes camp (along with Grant) with the coffee jar. Should anyone have noticed that, it would have been a red flag. Then, he explicitly deceives Grant - his biggest ally thus far - by swapping the first and second clues for an idol...THAT HE ALREADY HAS. Short of the clue telling the reader that the idol is "exactly in x spot that you can't possibly miss" - a scenario in which the reader (let's say Grant) would have known that someone (most likely Rob) had the idol, there was none. Now, should his actions even come to light, he'll be (even more) untrustworthy, and what was gained? Nothing.

* Who else loved loved loved that Stephanie and Krista were outwardly selling their allegiance to Rob at the Redemption duel...only to claim how their own tribemates weren't "playing the game" by attempting to get the girls on their side? Oh, because they're so loyal to the tribe, right? The things that some people say when they know their days are numbered crack me up sometimes. And as Mike (?) said, it's not as though the gals were attempting to sway anyone to their side, anyway.

* Oh Krista, we hardly knew ye. No, seriously, we didn't really know you at all, save for being labeled one of Rusty's "concubine." Good luck at Redemption Island (not really). Then again, I'd like to see Krista and Stephanie square off in two weeks.

* Or is it three weeks? Or a week from Wednesday? Reminder, Survivor watchers - the NCAA tourney is bound to screw with the show's air date in the coming weeks. Those sans DVRs especially need take note.

And then...

Survivor: Redemption Island Episode 4 Thoughts LIVE BLOG!

The opportunity is here, the timing is right - indeed, the Survivor live blog is back (for a limited time only)! The show starts in about five minutes...see you then.

7:00: Let's get this out of the way early: I would bet large quantities of money that Russ wins his R.I. duel. There is no way that a player of this caliber leaves the game this early. I will be stunned if he loses (and he's never even been all that much of a competitor at challenges).

7:05: Note to self: do NOT buy the DVD with the unrated content for Survivor: Redemption Island. Seeing Philip's junk is an experience that I never need to endure.

7:06: Note to you, the reader: Don't worry, I've never bought a Survivor DVD at all. Do they even have unrated content on them, 'cause there have been plenty of ladies over the years that I wouldn't mind seeing in less than their skivvies.

7:08: Haha - Russell's little concubine is still talking him up, even thought he ain't even there. Kissing his ass will do you no good at this point, ladies.

7:08: Philip said he was a Special Agent...take a drink!

7:09: "I'm fighting to honor my God." *Fletch groan*

7:11: Ho...leee....shit. Russell Hantz, out of the game! I'm speechless.

7:12: Holy shit again! That speechless bout didn't last. Big bad Russell is a big bad crybaby! This is too great.

7:13: Pardon me, I'll be right back. I'm gonna go get some cheese to go along with Russ' wine.

7:14: Philip is just too much. I don't even know what to say about that guy. The only parallel I can think of right now is last season's Jimmy T, a guy with too much confidence that was in desperate need of being knocked down a few pegs. It was difficult to watch it when it actually happened with Jimmy, but there's no way it will be anything less than glorious if and when (please be 'when') it happens to Phil. The guy is delusional.

7:22: We never really get a good impression, but you have to assume that the camp or beach or whatever designated area that each tribe is inhabiting is actually much smaller than we might've first been led to believe. I just don't understand how these people are able to find these immunity idols with such ease. It should take you longer than 15 minutes to find it with as vague a clue as Rob had. Whatever.

7:24: Yeah, I don't know about Christina taking any orders from Philip.

7:25: "Well, you have experience with these covert matters, Philip," says Christina. Brilliant. That was laugh out loud funny.

7:27: Tell me you weren't scratching your head during that sequence with Phil trying to get some kind of immunity for Christina from Rob. I know I was, I know Rob was, I know Grant was. What on earth - scratch that - what on Milky Way galaxy is that nut thinking? If we're lucky, it will be the nail in his coffin.

7:29: It's a shame that I like Grant as much as I do. He might be long for the game, but I don't see it. His strategic game is kind of savvy, but kind of not at the same time. It seems like the major component of it is being Rob's right-hand man, but he appears to be largely invisible (read: having NO strategic game) and his imposing physical presence will be scaring people off sooner rather than later. Of course, this is the game that I would probably attempt to use were I on the game (minus the physical presense of a former NFL player).

7:32: Craftsman! And more barbeque stuff from Sears!

7:33: I'm gonna be real disappointed if I don't see a commercial from Discover at the next break.

7:35: Case in point - are you seeing Grant out there?? The guy is Superman.

7:36: At the same time, Ralph has Farmer Strength, as evidenced by what'shername old lady from last season. The difference being that, as a man, he's bound to have even more than she does. I wouldn't wanna mess with him, either (or get near him, as he surely smells like a donkey).

7:41: I'm not positive...is that Sears meat? I swear I saw at least some Craftsman bell peppers. Yum!

7:42: I'm not sure at all what to make of that David guy. Seems like a tool - er, hang on a sec, Phil's holding a camp meeting, I have to pay attention...

7:44: I feel so bad for Christina. Let's hope that she survives this week and that there's a merge coming soon. I doubt it, but it's worth hoping. Still not sure why she got on the outs so quickly.

7:46: Not sure what Rob is so afraid of by keeping Christina - even if Philip goes home tonight, it's like 5 against 1. I think Christina is still on the wrong side of the numbers even should she survive. Rob's fear of her is bordering on irrational.

7:48: Natalie looks like she's 12. That is all.

7:51: I wonder if Phil can tell what votes are going to be read by looking at Jeff's face before he reads the votes?

7:52: Damn it all. We're fated for at least two more weeks of unintentional, uncomfortable humor.

And then...

Survivor: Redemption Island Episode 3 Thoughts

* First, some shallow and pedantic observations...

* Firefighter Julie shall heretofore be known as Cyclops. That poor lady's eyes are so close together it's creepy. Please don't tell her, though, as she could likely kick my ass.

* If you look through the dreadlocks and athletic build, Grant looks a hell of a lot like Mark Ruffalo.

* Along similar lines, I've decided that choir boy Matt looks like he could be Reese Witherspoon's brother.

* Anyway, up and down episode. I already don't think that's an entertaining challenge, so when you throw in the fact that it was thrown to boot, it makes it terribly boring. However, we got to see Russell's giant ego deflated at least a little bit, and I for one am glad to see it.

* Yes, throwing a challenge and dumping your own players this early on does indeed seem to be a pretty rotten idea, but I surely can't blame the group for wanting to be rid of him.

* Not sure how "Francesqua" managed to blow that duel. I would love to participate in that challenge. Definitely one that appears easy to those of us sitting on the couch.

* Anyone else hoping that Russ wins out in the duels and has to face Rob in the final one to decide who gets back in the game? That's about the best situation one can hope for, I think.

* While I'm asking questions, anyone else get bothered that they call one "Boston Rob" and the other "Russell Hantz?" Weird. It's like Rob doesn't have a last name.

* Loved the "Storm's a coming" line from the dark-haired member of Russ' concubine. Uh yeah, it is, and it'll be in the form a lightning bolt headed straight for you and blondie. Not sure how much shit I'd be talking if I were down 6-2.

And then...

Survivor: Redemption Island Episode 2 Thoughts

* A good and bad episode for The Rooster (I forgot his name). Good that he found the hidden idol, despite his finding of it to be more accidental than a thought-out plan. As for his confrontation with Russ, it was good and bad. We all know that he has the idol - if you wanna tell people that Russ bogarted the clue (to the idol that you already have), go right ahead, as that only makes Russ look bad. But being the chief interrogator of the big stink? What purpose did that serve, outside of perhaps acting as a penis measuring contest? Now you've made an enemy out of a guy that, arrogant as hell or not, manages to do pretty well in the game. Yet, at the same time, I think it might work for The Rooster, in that if it was just a measuring contest, I think he won, or at least will get the last laugh. Russ' ego is out of control, and unlike his previous two runs on the show, these folks know his game. I'll be surprised if he lasts very long.

* Although I don't like Rob's plan since I'm a Christina fan, you have to respect how well it played out for him and how much control he has over his faction of his tribe. He's made an enemy of Andrea, but that seems more like entertainment for us than a threat to him.

* "I....am an EFFF BEE IIII...agent!!!" Yeah, that's pretty much all that runs through my head when I see Philip. Well, that and "Wow, just shut up, dude...."

* Speaking of Point Break, does Matt remind anyone else of James LeGros circa his surfing and bank-robbing days?


* OMG! Grant speaks! I knew he was soft-spoken, but I hadn't anticipated just how soft-spoken indeed. Despite him being little more than a Team Rob supporter at the moment, I think I'm gonna like the guy. He's gonna make a move at the right time somewhere down the line.

* Redemption Is-yaaaawwwn...

But really, I wasn't expecting much from R.I. this week. It'll start to get interesting next week when we have our first duel!

* Overall, a mostly uninteresting setup show, in fact. Tribal Council was another yawner, brought on possibly by the downpour that started up. I'm looking forward to the inevitable Rooster/Russter showdown, but who knows when that will be. And as I mentioned, seeing Andrea get in a hissy (the reaction shots of her after Matt was ousted were priceless) ought to be fun. Stay tuned...

And then...

Survivor: Redemption Island Episode 1 Thoughts

* I may be going back on what I said at the end of last season, but I think the Redemption Island concept will turn out to be a winner. The biggest strength it brings is adding an important new layer to the game. Exile Island was gimmicky and really didn't change the way that the game was played at all - the biggest thing it brought to the game was an added hidden immunity idol that was never very well hidden. Redemption, on the other hand, will dramatically alter not only the way that the members of a council consider who to vote off and when, but add the all-important second chance to all players involved. Had Kristina not known about its existence, I think she'd have played her idol tonight. Additionally, there's all of the added drama and show time that will be devoted to the player(s) on R.I., though you could argue that time spent on them will only take away from the valuable time we get to spend with the actual remaining tribes. I'm optimistic, though.

* On the other hand, all of my thoughts and fears about the inclusion of Russell and Rob were confirmed and then some. Not only are they already "all stars" amongst the field of contestants, but they got the rock star treatment from the producers. Flown in on their own chopper, de facto tribe leaders (what were the odds that they ended up on opposite teams?), and much of the gameplay centered squarely on their backs. To top it all off, Rob, who I normally like quite a bit, acted like a douchebag bully at council, flaunting his considerable clout on the first damn day. Try and convince me that another random player would have tried the "give me your idol or I can't trust you" bullshit on their first day of the game. Hate hate hated it.

* CRAFTSMAN sponsorship! Must be nice getting tools on your first day...

* Ugh, really? We spend considerable time getting to know two non-celebrity players this week, and wouldn't you know it, they're the ones either already voted out or soon to be. Now that kind of telegraphing I expect from the show, but as it happens, they were the two players on Rob's team that I liked the best thus far (I don't think we even heard Dreadlock Guy utter a word).

* Phillip seems like a scripted character. How he wasn't the first one off I'll never understand. What a flake of epic proportions. And, as Mrs. Fletch pointed out, after his council outburst, who's gonna trust that guy with any information going forward.

* I see that the producers were unhappy with the NYT (Nubile Young Thing) quotient last season and promptly remedied that this season. Good luck getting rid of all the eye candy so quickly this time, players! (Especially with many of them serving as Rob's acolytes.)

* Great challenge. Unique, grand in scale, and it was a decent fight to the finish.

And then...