(Editor's Note: Ok, so I'm an idiot. I accidentally just wrote over an older post - for episode 10, I think - so there are some comments here that won't make sense. Also, you probably aren't seeing this post in your feed readers since it's a few weeks old. Oh well...)
Alright, my stalwart Survivor gang - it's time for another Live Blog!
Is it just me, or does it seem like this season has gone on forever? It ends Sunday (thankfully), and yet, this episode here is only the 12th. Have the seasons always been this short (and seemed so long)? I think not. Methinks the show needs larger gaps between seasons...
Anyway, on to the show!
7:00: Again with the four person "dual," eh? I suppose the contestants will have to balance 6-sided triangles on their laps later?
7:02: Hmmm...a scene involving Natalie crying...could that possibly have served as the "family crying moment of the season," meaning we might be dodging that bullet?
7:04: I swear to god, right as I'm typing that, the players are discovering phones with family messages. I'm fucking psychic (or I've just watched this show for a long time).
7:05: Hey! Andrea didn't turn into a ball of tears upon seeing her video. A Survivor first! Good for her.
7:06: Damnit, I wish Matt had been amongst the players getting a message. I want to know if it would have been from God.
7:07: Again, I'm psychic - he gets a turn after all. I'll be disappointed if Jesus himself doesn't tell Matt that he's really pulling for him in today's challenge.
7:09: I'm not sure if you're aware of this or not, but tonight's episode is brought to us by SPRINT...4G! How much you wanna bet me that the first commercial in the next break is from our friends at Sprint? The Epic 4G.
7:10: If I took a drink every time they said "Sprint," I'd be wasted already. And it's all been in the span of four minutes, so it'd be like shotgunning beers.
7:15: Are you kidding? Only one person is going home? So there'll be nine people left in the game, and we've got a finale on Sunday? WTF?
7:17: Bye, Steve. Didn't ya like how they showed Phil immediately after Jeff said Steve was going home?
7:18: What the shit? Is this series gonna be airing on the Trinity Broadcasting Network soon? I have my limits, people...
7:19: That said, while I don't know if it will make the least bit of difference for him, I think Mike made an excellent choice. Not only is it worth a shot, but it's not like he didn't get a) a message and b) to see his Mom in person. And if it curries him favor down the line, to go with the good karma he's already earned, all the better. I'm not sure if I could have made such a move, but I appreciate it nonetheless.
7:24: Okay, no need to correct me. I just got curious and looked it up, and I see that the finale is on the 15th, which means we've got next Wednesday as well. My bad! Though I think I also saw that the finale will start with 8 people - wow.
7:26: Grant's....sister's husband? Odd choice for a family member - I wonder if there's a story there. And Ralph's "friend?" I'm not sure that I would have guessed that Ralph was gay - cool!
7:28: Rob just talked about making a better life for his wife and kids. Yeah...I don't want to begrudge the guy that, but I can't imagine that they're exactly hurting for cash.
7:28: Spoiler - it will be unveiled that Grant is the second coming of Jesus later on in the show. He looks the part, right? And this is the Official Reality Show of Heaven, right?
7:29: Ok, I'll stop.
7:29: If the show stops first.
7:34: How can Grant not win this? The guy's probably spent more time running up and down stadium stairs than the rest of the players combined. Could anyone be more conditioned than he is?
7:38: Rob wins!
7:38: ...and then dies of heat exhaustion.
7:43: Crap, I was too busy skipping the commercials to notice - was that one commercial I called for Sprint or what?
7:48: But of course - Phil has been acting like a crazy fool all this time. I don't buy it. The guy might have had a moment of self-realization where he picked up on the fact that he's a nut that's almost universally loathed, but there's no way that everything he's said and done has been an act.
7:53: So what do we think? More bait and switch? It's gotta be Andrea, right? I say yay.
7:56: I really hope that those remaining five players are forced to do a vote amongst themselves next week, because I'd like to see if Rob can stick to his "keep Phil" strategy, and whether or not the pair of gals and/or the pair of non-Phil guys would dare to vote against each other. I can't think of another season in which we had a solid group of players that contained two even-solider [sic] pairs within it. It makes me hope for a four-person finale with the two pairs making it, just so they have to trash talk each other.