TGITDNMAR (6/29/07)

It's that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released. The outlook for this week is much better than the last two, as some high-profile movies hits the screens. Next week: Transformers...

Ratatouille
Director Brad Bird may have a good resume (The Iron Giant, The Incredibles), and the reviews are great so far, but I just don't know if I can get into a movie about a French rat that cooks, especially one that is voiced by Patton Oswalt. Sure, Patton is ok in small doses, but I can't take him for a whole movie.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 25%


Live Free or Die Hard
Much to my surprise, Bruce's big talk from early press must be right, as early reviews are downright phenomenal when you consider that this is the fourth in the series. It's current rating from IMDb (granted, with only 2000+ ratings) sits at 8.4, higher than even the original's 8.1 (good enough for 155th overall). Consider me flabbergasted, as the trailers have been overwhelmingly underwhelming. On the other hand, Mrs. Fletch is vehemently opposed to seeing this, so this will either be a solo outing or I'll have to rally up some buddies to catch it with, cause I think I need to see it now.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 59%


Sicko
Though I'll definitely see this, I'm a bit worried. Prior to Fahrenheit 9/11, Moore's films, while dealing with serious subjects themselves, have always had a sharp wit and somewhat loose mood to them, even in their more awkward moments (interviewing Charlton Heston, for example). For some reason, I just think that all the press from Fahrenheit on has made Moore not necessarily jaded or bitter, but focused and a little pissed off. I could be way off base, and I hope I am.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 84%


Evening
The good news? The screenwriter, Michael Cunningham, was the writer of the book The Hours, which was a terrific film.

The bad news? This has sappy, sad chick flick (albeit older chicks) written all over it. I'll wait for video.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 12%

And then...

Diversion time...

In honor of the release of the latest Die Hard flick, let's have some fun and caption this picture:

And then...

A very special episode of Fletch's Favored Five

Warning: the post you are about to read is in poor taste at best, and possibly offensive at worst. Proceed with caution - and lighten up!

"Stupid is as stupid does." - Forrest Gump

"I like the way you talk, too." - Karl Childers

"Sometimes they're bald because their head is shiny and they don't have hair on it. So their head is just more of their face." - Sam Dawson

Listed above are some of the most famous quotes that the film world has ever seen (okay, maybe not the third one so much - that's from I Am Sam). Their common thread? The words were all uttered by characters that are, well, let's just say they're "special" in one way or another. A conversation the other day got me thinking - who are my favorite mentally challenged characters? I feel compelled to share with you...

Honorable Mentions

Sam Dawson, Sam I Am
Only the man that brought Jeff Spicoli to the national consciousness could have played Sam. Wait a sec, what am I saying? I never saw this, and neither did anyone else. But it sure as hell looks funny.

Steve Barker, The Ringer
Johnny Knoxville, the original Jackass, as a guy scamming his way into the Special Olympics? Brilliant. He and a host of other "non-special" actors (including a recognizable face from Galazy Quest and Supertroopers) do their best to appear as naturally "special" as they can, with varying degrees on success. So wrong, but pretty good at times.

Radio, Radio
Further proof that Cuba Gooding, Jr. - he of eternal promise following Jerry Maguire - will take any job in a feature film that he can possibly get. Snow Dogs? Sure. Norbit? Whatever. Playing Eddie Murphy in the gawdawful-looking sequel to Daddy Day Care (as if anyone cared about the first)? Sure!

And now...the Corky Awards:

5. "Brian," The Score
Okay, so technically, Ed Norton wasn't playing a "special" character for the duration of The Score. His "Brian" was just a role within his character's role needed to infiltrate a storage house as part of a con. But the few blessed minutes that "Brian" is onscreen are enough to make you wish he was there the whole time, especially for his scenes with Brando.





4. Karl Childers (Sling Blade)
If ever you don't think Billy Bob Thornton is a great actor, just watch this, Bad Santa, and Tombstone back-to-back-to-back. Despite never changing his looks all that much, the man is a fantastic chameleon, and this, his star-making performance, is funny, touching and scary all at once.


3. Carla Tate/Daniel McMann, The Other Sister
Truth be told, I've not seen this entire film, but I've seen enough to know that a) it's a terrible, terrible movie, directed by the Human Sap Machine, Mr. Garry Marshall (Beaches, Pretty Woman, The Princess Diaries) and b) it's an awesome, amazing film, features some of the funniest performances of all time by Juliette Lewis and Giovanni Ribisi.

Unfortunately, it's not a comedy. Could've fooled me - and someone even went to the trouble to make a drinking game ought of it - brilliant.

2. Forrest Gump, Forrest Gump
He's pretty much the reigning Godfather of these types of roles, with the film having made some $300+ million (back in 1994) and spawning a cottage industry of merchandise, from boxes of chocolate to Bubba Gump Shrimp restaurants (not bad, by the way). Hanks spawned more catchphrases as Gump than he had in the rest of his career combined, I imagine. That said, in my heart, he still can't top...



1. Warren Jensen, There's Something About Mary
Have you seen his baseball? Oh, and a word to the wise...don't touch his ears.

And then...

Seven People to Avoid at the Movie Theater

Aside from giving movie reviews and opining on the random topic of the day, I'm here to provide a service to you the reader. As a rampant moviegoer, I must (obviously) enjoy the experience of going to the movies. That said, there are people (or groups of people) that serve as potential minefields to your experience. They are there to irritate you, frustrate you, pester you - whatever it takes to show you that they are passively-aggressively more important than you. So watch out for them...

* Hearing-aid Couple
Blog Cabins would never prejudge all senior citizens who attend the theater (at a discount, mind you). After all, many seniors have great hearing and are typically amongst the quietest in the building. Unfortunately, it only takes one half of a hearing-impaired couple for them both to drive you nuts. This is because the spouse with the better hearing of the two ends up serving as a closed-captioning service to the hearing impaired. "What'd they say?," says one, with the other recapping the action onscreen. Folks, they have headphones available at the counters of many theaters. They also have open captioning at many theaters. Look into it.

* 300-Pound Man
In and of itself, being heavy is not a crime at the movies. But with the advent of rocking chair style seating, having a heavy-set fellow in the row in front of you will give you flashbacks to your latest airplane trip. It should be noted also that it need not necessarily be all that heavy of a person in front of you to make you miserable; it could just be someone who enjoys rocking a bit too much or who purposefully sits way back in their seat. Buddy - I like my knees. Do you mind?

* The MST3K Fan
Hey, I love to kick back and make fun of the action as much as the next fellow - cracking wise at this or that, getting the folks around you going. But while this practice is encouraged when watching the tube with some buddies, it makes me want to shoot you at the theater. It's not your living room - shut your trap and keep your comments to yourself. Or at least whisper to those around you. No one else cares. (Note: this position is often held by persons under the age of 16, who most likely did not pay for their own ticket. Now I hate you and your parents.) Oh, and for those unaware - read up on MST3K here.

* The New Hire
At the local chain Mrs. Fletch and I attend 99% of the time, we are lucky. While almost all of the employees wear the same "tux without a jacket" uniform, the "team leaders" wear a black vest and the managers wear normal business attire. What's the point, you might ask? Well, when you're faced with concession roulette and the lines look even, it's much easier to pick a winner, as the leaders/managers (when they're running a register) are always much faster and better than their less experienced counterparts. New hires? I might as well make the popcorn myself.

* The Cell Phone Rule Pusher
"What do you want from me? It's not ringing?" Those are the words I can hear the Cell Phone Rule Pusher saying already. Tough. I don't care if your phone isn't ringing - turn it off the entire time you are in the theater! And no texting, either! While not necessarily as annoying as hearing someone's oh-so-charming ringtone with the movie running, seeing the bright backlight of their handset as it lights up the darkened theater is really close. It calls to my eyes like a beacon, and I know I'm not alone on this. Please - unless it's life or death, leave your phone in the car.

* The Sheep
The most baffling person/people at the movies. Yes, I understand the entire experience of moviegoing is not necessarily a private outing. I am voluntarily entering a dark room filled with upwards of 500 or so people. However, should the theater not be sold out, why are there people that will sit within two seats of me when the place is empty? I don't know you and I don't want to sit next to you if I have the choice. Before you ask - no, I don't sit in the middle (horizontally or vertically); I like to sit more towards the back of the theater and like an aisle seat on the left or right section. So I'm not exactly sitting in the most popular area - why do you choose to leech onto me? I may be good looking and interesting, but gimme a break!

* Me
Because I'm obviously an ornery sunavabitch. Proceed with caution.


Got someone (or some type of person) to add to the list? Email me at blogcabins@yahoo.com or post a comment below.

And then...

Fletch's Film Review: 1408

I liked Identity better, and I thought that was pretty bad.





























Fletch's Film Rating:

"Whatever."

And then...

TGITDNMAR (6/22/07)

It's that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released. If you thought last week was a bad week, it doesn't get all that much better this week.

Let's see what's hitting the theaters today:

Evan Almighty
Can you feel it in the air? I can - in fact, I can almost hear it. That's right - let the Steve Carell backlash begin!

Actually, I don't begrudge Carell for taking this role - after all, to go form supporting player to star of a "franchise" in a few years (and to see his salary probably multiply by about 20) is bound to be an ego boosting event. And he has been on a roll.

That said, it stops here. By all accounts, this looks like a boring (PG rating won't help), preachy, unfunny kids movie that just happen to cost a fortune to make.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 5%


1408
This has gotten pretty good reviews thus far, which bodes well. With Hostel 2 bombing big time, I imagine the horror fans out there will jump at the chance to see a tense thriller adapted from a Stephen king story. Hopefully, this will also be a comeback picture for John Cusack, who has frankly stunk up the joint for the past five years or so, with High Fidelity being his last quality film.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 60%


A Mighty Heart
Don't go into this looking for a laugh. In what's sure to be this year's version of United 93, Angelina Jolie plays the widow of Daniel Pearl. I've only seen one film from director Michael Winterbottom (Code 46), but it's one that I happen to think is great. That said, this is probably a rental - summer's a bad time to release über-downer dramas.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 20%


You Kill Me
Director John Dahl used to be considered one of the hot, young, up-and-coming Hollywood auteurs. Unfortunately, that was in 1994. After two of the better noir thrillers of that decade (Red Rock West and The Last Seduction), Dahl was hot. He immediately followed Seduction up with the terribly named Unforgettable, which turned out to be a serious case of false advertising.

Dahl made a comeback with the commercial bomb turned cult hit Rounders, but hasn't really done much then, and that was nearly ten years ago. Now comes Kill Me, which features some decent buzz and a good cast, including Ben Kingsley, Dennis Farina, Bill Pullman, and Phillip Baker Hall. Maybe worth a look...
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 44%

And then...

Fletch's Film Review: Paris, je t'aime

I can hear the naysayers already.

"Paris?? You better be talkin' 'bout Paris, Texas, cause I hate the French."

"Love stories? I'm not into "love story" movies. Thanks, anyway."
"A movie set in Paris about love stories? Hell no! And I hate subtitles."

Well, your loss, if that's your thinking. Paris, je t'aime is easily one of the best movies of the year. With good reason, too - after all, this anthology of 18 short films, each set in one of Paris' arrondissements, counts some of the best actors and directors in the business amongst its participants. This is a demonstration in what movies are (or should be) all about - a range of emotions, terrific acting, a wide array of styles, good stories - it's got it all.

To avoid this turning into a book (which it might end up being anyway, but stay with me here), I won't give a complete rundown of all 18, but here are some notes for each, given in the order they appear onscreen, with the title and director noted (with help from Wikipedia):

* Montmartre - Directed by Bruno Podalydès, starring Podalydès and Florence Muller
A slow start featuring a lonely man and some serendipity. Not great, not bad.

* Quais de Seine - Directed by Gurinder Chadha, starring Leïla Bekhti and Cyril Descours
A quiet teen meets a girl from a different background, and possibly opens his eyes a bit. A tad syrupy, but not bad nonetheless.

* Le Marais - Directed by Gus Van Sant, starring Gaspard Ulliel, Elias McConnell and Marianne Faithfull
Van Sant starts this off slow, but a twist at the end makes it.

* Tuileries - Directed by Joel and Ethan Coen, starring Steve Buscemi, Axel Kiener and Julie Bataille
One of the two or three best. I won't ruin it, but let's just say that it's Steve Buscemi like you've never seen him before. Funny as hell, and gets you itching for vintage Coen brothers.

*Loin du 16e - Directed by Walter Salles and Daniela Thomas, starring Catalina Sandino Moreno
Contains by far the least amount of story compared to the rest, but is still poignant. Think of it as more of a detour. A bit depressing as well.

* Porte de Choisy - Directed by Christopher Doyle, starring Barbet Schroeder and Li Xin
Odd. Bizarre. Strange. You name it, this one is weird - in a bad way.

* Bastille - Directed by Isabel Coixet, starring Sergio Castellitto, Miranda Richardson and Leonor Watling
Middle ground here, as this short tells the tale of an adulterous husband who changes his stripes.

* Place des Victoires - Directed by Nobuhiro Suwa, starring Juliette Binoche, Hippolyte Girardot and Willem Dafoe
One of the two saddest in the film. Dafoe's appearance is a bit disconcerting, but still welcome. Those with kids will be hit hard by this one.

* Tour Eiffel - Directed by Sylvain Chomet, starring Paul Putner and Yolande Moreau
Mime alert! Don't be too scared, though - this one's pretty funny, and the little kid is cute as hell.

* Parc Monceau - Directed by Alfonso Cuarón, starring Nick Nolte and Ludivine Sagnier
I was really disappointed by this one as I'm a big Cuarón fan. It's not terrible, but I would have thought his would have been amongst the best. Nick Nolte is borderline impossible to understand, in French or English - he's fully turned into Gary Busey at this point.

* Quartier des Enfants Rouges - Directed by Olivier Assayas, starring Maggie Gyllenhaal and Lionel Dray
Maggie speaks French well (at least it sounds that way to my far-from-fluent ears). This one has promise, but kind of dies at the end. Not great overall.

* Place des fêtes - Directed by Oliver Schmitz, starring Aïssa Maïga and Seydou Boro
Absolutely heartbreaking. It almost got a little misty in the theater here (but not quite). One of my favorites, despite how sad it is.

* Pigalle - Directed by Richard LaGravenese, starring Bob Hoskins and Fanny Ardant
Bob Hoskins always makes things interesting - you never know what type of character he's going to play, as he can just as easily go from comic to terrifying killer. Here, he's a frustrated would-be Viagra consumer trying to seduce his special ladyfriend.

* Quartier de la Madeleine - Directed by Vincenzo Natali, starring Elijah Wood and Olga Kurylenko
The second-worst of the bunch, as Elijah Wood falls for a Parisian vampire. This one is all style and no story, and the style is a bit off-kilter at times (pay attention to the way she moves). Some cool elements, but overall a loser.

* Père-Lachaise - Directed by Wes Craven, starring Emily Mortimer, Rufus Sewell and Alexander Payne
When you see Craven's name pop up, you might think of a certain genre, but the old dog has some tricks up his sleeve. Two recognizable Brits in a cemetary make this one of the better entries, and Sewell shows he has a sense of humor after all.



* Faubourg Saint-Denis - Directed by Tom Tykwer, starring Melchior Beslon and Natalie Portman
From the director of one of my favorite films (Run Lola Run) comes my favorite short on display. A blind Parisian meets an American actress, they click, she moves to Paris, she screams, he studies for his exams, she acts...

You'll get it. Tykwer took full advantage of the screen time given.

* Quartier Latin - Directed by Gérard Depardieu and Frédéric Auburtin, starring Ben Gazzara, Rowlands and Depardieu
Two old timers (Gazzara is 76, Rowlands just turned 77) show us how it's done in a terrifically written scene. Depardieu directs and even pops in - guess you couldn't have this movie without him.

* 14e arrondissement - Directed by Alexander Payne, starring Margo Martindale
Payne brings his familiar style (Election, About Schmidt) to this story of an American tourist discovering herself on a vacation to the City of Lights. I won't spoil this for you, but it's up there with the Tykwer and Coen brothers entries as the standouts. High comedy, especially if you've ever taken a French class.

Fletch's Film Rating:

"You're the best...around!"

And then...

Fletch's Film Review: Surf's Up

If you read TGITDNMAR a couple weeks back, you saw that my chance of seeing Surf's Up in the theater was listed at 50%. However, Mrs. Fletch commented that hers was 80%. Well, average that out, and throw in a crappy week of new releases last Friday and that translates to us in the theater watching a surfing penguin movie.

Let me tell you - if you see only one surfing penguin movie this year, make it this one. Surf's Up is an entertaining movie, with (as predicted) a bit of sentimentality, but more so, it's packed with great performances by its voice over actors, a soundtrack that doesn't rely on 60s surf tunes or established, overused pop hits (a few songs heard prominently are Green Day's "Holiday" and "Welcome to Paradise," and "Get What You Give," by the New Radicals), and a great mockumentary style that sets it apart from the rest of the animated "kids" movies out there.

Much-seen-lately Shia LaBeouf stars as Cody Maverick, a runt of a flightless bird who lost his father young (the filmmakers even make that funny - much different than the Disney brand of parental issues), has a bullying bigger brother and an airhead mother. Cody wants to be just like his fallen idol Big Z - in other words, he wants to be the best of the best amongst surfers. Though none of it is groundbreaking , I won't give away the story, but suffice it to say that it is satisfactory (the Big Z storyline is practically straight out of The Karate Kid).

If you're not sick of seeing/hearing LaBeouf lately (Disturbia, Transformers), you're bound to enjoy him here. He brings the right attitude to Cody, being plucky and determined while remaining funny. Also on board (no pun intended) are:

* Jeff Bridges in a perfect role for him, especially if you enjoyed his performance in The Big Lebowski).

* Jon Heder, aka Napoleon Dynamite, who plays a stoner chicken named, uh, Chicken Joe. Heder gets to steal many of the funnier lines in the movie and never gets annoying, which is nice.

* Diedrich Bader, more or less reprising his small role from Napoleon Dynamite - classic.

* James Woods as a generally annoying talent agent (on purpose).

* Zooey Deschanel, every bit as forgettable as she was in Elf. (Not a knock on her as an actress, but it just feels like she could be replaced by just about anyone and you wouldn't know the difference, which I guess is in fact a knock on her as an actress. Sorry, Zooey.)

The filmmakers took full advantage of the faux documentary style. From showing "historical footage" and other documents to interviewing everyone from Cody's family to the villain to the Woods' agent, no detail was left uncovered, and it is the source for many of the laughs in the movie (ex: the interviews with a trio of younger surfers). At times, the movie more or less abandons or forgets the style, but always picks it up or reminds you of it in a short time.

Granted, since I don't have a two-year old, I haven't seen that many animated flicks lately, but I'm guessing this is one of the better ones of the last five years, after Finding Nemo and The Incredibles. God knows it looks better than Happy Feet...

Fletch's Film Rating:

"Darn tootin'!"


Mrs. Fletch's Film Rating:

"It's in the hole!"



* Finally, I ought to add that even though we all probably take it for granted these days, the computer animation kicks ass. The ocean waves during the surfing scenes are photo-realistic. Pretty stunning stuff. My only gripe is that some characters are given the über-accurate treatment in terms of how the animal might look in nature, while others resemble comics characters (which was probably done on purpose, for comedic effect. Duh.). Anyway, that's just a minor gripe.

And then...

Fletch's Favored Five: Sin City Flicks

And by that I mean movies that are set in or feature scenes in Las Vegas, not overrated adaptations of Frank Miller's work that star Mickey Rourke.

After all, who doesn't love Vegas? Much like movies with bowling scenes (covered here), films that showcase Vegas in one way or another just add a certain zest and flavor that Sacramento just can't offer, much less Atlantic City (sorry, Rounders). With so many to choose from, it's damn near impossible to pick my favorites. So first, some honorable mentions:

The Godfather
The fact is, I haven't seen this in a long time and barely (if at all) recall any scenes that were filmed in Vegas. However, when doing research for this post, I saw The Godfather as one of the films associated with Las Vegas - as such, I knew omitting it from this list altogether would get me on some hated lists that I don't want to be on. So, here it is.

Bugsy
Another mob movie that can't be omitted, especially considering that the movie is about how Bugsy started Las Vegas. It would seem disrespectful to leave it off. Kudos, Mr. Siegel.

Rain Man
"They're gonna give daddy the Rainman suite, you dig that?"

Vegas Vacation
Four words: Wayne Newton. Nick Papagiorgio.

The Cooler
A great portrayal of old school versus new school Vegas, with Alec Baldwin in the classic role of Shelley Kaplow. However, many points are taken away as the audience must endure numerous shots of William H. Macy ass. Boo!!

And the winners...

5. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
I originally had this slotted at number two, but had to keep moving it down, as the films listed below just plain deserved it more. That said, Terry Gilliam's adaptation of Hunter Thompson's brilliant novel definitely belongs in the conversation - hell, it even has Vegas in the title! Bonus points for featuring old school Vegas (as it's set in the mid-70s, that couldn't really be avoided) and for Ellen Barkin's out-of-nowhere near cameo as a frazzled waitress in a run-down diner.

4. Swingers
The city fathers should probably pay out royalties to Jon Favreau, Vince Vaughn, Doug Liman and anyone else associated with Swingers, as the movie is probably one of the big reasons for Vegas' boom in the mid-90s. With every hipster (and non-hipster alike) shouting out "Vegas, baby, Vegas!," the city got millions of dollars worth of p.r. for nothing. Hell, as legend has it, the filmmakers didn't even have authority to film their scenes while in town - they had to shoot it guerrilla-style the whole time. And don't forget - always double-down on 11. Always.

3. Go
A proud member of my all-time underrated movies, Go also makes me want to run to Vegas just watching it. The Taye Diggs-led storyline is the most fun of the three in Go as it's got it all- sex, drugs, strippers, gambling and even an MSG-laden buffet. Let's go!




2. Ocean's Eleven (2001)
We're all very familiar with this one. Star-studded cast remakes Rat Pack "hit" from days gone by, with George Clooney in the Sinatra role. Three stars of the new Strip are featured prominently (Bellagio, The Mirage and the MGM Grand), with the Bellagio practically given a co-starring role, as much of the film takes place in it and other casinos. Heck, even Siegfried and Roy get a cameo.

1. Casino
Even if this wasn't a great movie (which it is), it would have probably earned the top spot by virtue of the first 45 minutes alone. As Sam "Ace" Rothstein walks you through the inner workings of his casino, you get what was at the time probably the best insiders' point of view of how a casino is run. Throw in James Woods, Sharon Stone (still in her prime), Joe Pesci and a kickass soundtrack and you have one of the best films of the 90s (and I still say it's better than GoodFellas).


Finally, the hall of shame:

The Great White Hype - for its lost potential. This should have been a much better movie.

Con Air - do I need to explain?

Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Famous - haven't even seen this, but it's associated with Vegas. For more evidence, read that title again.

Very Bad Things - another lost potential case. A great cast, including a pre-Entourage Jeremy Piven, a still-thin, post-Swingers Jon Favreau, Christian Slater, Cameron Diaz, etc., etc. - and the movie stunk. A grand disappointment.

And then...

Fletch's Film Review: Bug

In general, I don't like movies adapted from plays or that feel like plays - they smack of low-budget desperation and a lack of creativity. If I want to see a play, I'll do just that. Its the same reason I don't want there to be explosions, credits or trailers at the local playhouse - genres should know what they are. Just look at the vast majority of music videos - the people involved should just stick to making music and leave the film out of it. Unless there names are Michel Gondry or David Fincher.

But I digress (wildly).

Anyway - play movies. A search for "based on play" on IMDb (here) returns over 10,000 matches, and it seems like about 9,000 of them are based on works of Shakespeare. Unfortunately, most movies based on Shakespearean works suck, with Much Ado About Nothing being one of the few exceptions. Watching Kenneth Branaugh act out Hamlet for four hours just doesn't sound like that good of a time to me. But maybe I'm just not cultured enough. As a "Gen X-er," I was supposed to like subUrbia (also because it was directed by Richard Linklater), but found it to be boring as well - and the thought of Eric Bogosian just bothers me. Glengarry Glen Ross features one of the all-time great monologues by Alec Badlwin, but also feels wildly claustrophobic at times.

That said, I enjoyed Bug. It is most definitely claustrophobic, but since the plot pretty much requires it, it doesn't feel like the filmmakers were forced into it. Also, this being a paranoid thriller, tight spaces and the inability to leave said spaces only enhance the tension.

In short, Bug tells the tale of two lost, lonely souls and how their shared paranoia bring them together. Ashley Judd, who has apparently finally been hit with the reality that starring in crappy thrillers does not a good career make, stars alongside Michael Shannon, who played the same role when this was a play. Both do admirable jobs in what many would call "raw, naked" portrayals of their characters, but the real sight is seeing Harry Connick, Jr. playing way against type as Judd's not-too-nice ex-con ex-husband (he even looks like an ex-con, looking some 40 pounds of muscle heavier now than when he burst onto the music scene some 15 years ago).

Judd's Agnes, still in pain from a long-ago traumatic experience, lives a blasé life in a roadside motel in rural Oklahoma, just drinking the days by and waiting in fear for her ex to show up. But when a friend brings over a stranger named Peter (Shannon), the two quietly and awkwardly hit it off - mostly out of their shared loneliness and need for companionship. After awhile, though, Peter's past comes bubbling up to the surface - a detail here (he served in Iraq), a quirk there (he seems a bit too concerned with the thought of bedbugs), and soon enough the two are convinced of a far-fetched conspiracy plot (that I won't spoil).

And really, that's it. Five or so actors, a hotel room that undergoes an eerie makeover during the course of the film, and the creepiest bugs you've never seen before.

Fletch's Film Rating:

"Darn tootin'!"

And then...

TGITDNMAR* (6/15/07)

If every week's new releases looked like the crop coming out today, no one would ever go to the theaters. Truly shocking, considering that this is one of the prime weeks - mid-June, all the kids are out of school, and with Ocean's being the big release last week and Evan Almighty being the biggest release next, the next mega-film doesn't come out for three weeks (Transformers)! Anyway, here's the major releases being, um, released today:

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
Time for another trip back in time: this time, let's go all the way back to 2005. You've just gotten out of the theater after seeing Fantastic Four.

What's that? You didn't see it in the theater? No - you did, but you thought it sucked?

Whatever the case, this trip back in time wasn't worth taking, as everyone who saw the original thought it sucked. But you know what the shocking, twister ending to this story is? The sequel looks much better - though I still thinks Ioan Gruffudd has the name of an Irish frog (it's pronounced Griffith, by the way - he should go on tour with Ralph Fiennes aka "Raif Fine") and Michael Chiklis will always just be that shlubby drunk guy who crashes Jerry's apartment and hires an escort on Seinfeld.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 68%


Nancy Drew
In case you haven't heard (and you will), let me be the first to tell you - Nancy Drew star Emma Roberts is the daughter of Eric Roberts and the niece of Julia Roberts!! Can you believe it?
And since that's the only interesting tidbit here, and since I'm not a 12-year old girl...
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: -300%



Fido
I can't tell you much about this film because I don't know much about it - it's Canadian, it's a horror/comedy, and apparently it's the new Shaun of the Dead. Let's hope Phoenix is considered a big enough town for it to receive a copy of.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 47%




DOA: Dead or Alive
This sounds like a comedy masterpiece - just set your timer for 5 months from now and catch it on HBO or Showtime. Here's the plot outline, via Wikipedia:
"A number of fighters are invited to DOA, an invitational martial arts contest. They travel to the tournament island by plane, until they have to jump out mid-flight with parachutes, and then have until sundown to reach the main island to be entered into the tournament. Fighters are then pooled against one another in a knock-out style tournament, with the loser of a battle sent home, and the winner progressing to the subsequent round. The plot revolves around four female fighters who begin as rivals, but subsequently find themselves teaming up against another force."
Jaime Pressly stars.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 2% (in the theater); 99% (on TV)

* For those unaware, TGITDNMAR stands for "Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released

And then...

Programming Note #2

It's pimping time again - a new column by yours truly is up at NFL Adam's The Hater Nation. The target this time? Some of Phoenix's star athletes and their Napa Valley tastes.

It can be found here:

http://thehaternation.blogspot.com/2007/06/smashed-grapes-entering-water-supply-in.html

And then...

I am required by law to comment on The Sopranos finale

Unless you've been sleeping under a rock and/or just came back to the future (Hi Marty!), you know that The Sopranos ended on Sunday. As much as I would have liked to let this come and go, as a member of The Pop Culture Media Conglomerate (a fictional entity created by me, as far as you know), I am required to post my thoughts on the subject matter.

Again, in case you aren't aware, every critic alive, from newspaper to TV to the blogosphere to message-boardland has been trying to decipher what exactly happened to Tony Soprano when the screen abruptly cut to black. Did he get whacked? Did he simply have some pizza with his family? Did he get arrested? Did he go to Disneyland?

I can tell you with some certainly that it is none of those things. Here's my take:

And then...

Fletch's Film Review: Mr. Brooks

One thing is obvious: if you aren't a rabid fan of Dane Cook's, don't go to see Mr. Brooks (aka the "Kevin Costner as a bad guy movie") at a theater near you. For despite the fact that Cook is playing a dramatic role in a dramatic film, the hordes of teens and twentysomethings at the showing I attended were obviously hanging on his every word, and laughing at all of them. Beyond annoying.

The film as a whole fares better, but not by that much. When you get past the protagonist / antagonist nature of Costner's role, and imagine instead if it were played by another actor, you can't help but notice how generic the movie is. Look - there's Demi Moore as a hardened cop on the search for a pair of serial killers! She's even got some standard-issue Ray-Bans! Look - there's William Hurt hamming it up (nice for a change to see him genial for the large portion of a movie) as Costner's "dark side!" Look - there's Dane Cook being really funny, even when he's not! You get the idea. (It's also worth noting that for all the hype surrounding Costner's Vader-like move to the dark side, he's a polite, caring guy 93% of the time - the real news would have been if he and Hurt switched characters.)

The story itself takes on a lot, with a few clever twists here and there (Cook's character's motivation, for starters), but does not impress. Costner's Brooks is a whip-smart businessman, having built an empire for he and his family, with an addiction to murder on the side (I guess two heads thinking are better than one). Though the good half of him wants to quit killing and just escape with his loving but obviously dumb wife (a wasted Marg Helgenberger, filling her CSI hiatus time by paying the bills, apparently) and doting on his troubled daughter, who has just returned home from college for a variety of reasons. Brooks attends AA meetings, but alas, does not meet Bob and cry away his problems. After getting caught in the act (in a manner of speaking), he's forced to show a potential protege his ways - the worst possible situation for a guy that just wants to quit. Meanwhile, Moore's cop is hot on his tail and closing in. What will become of Mr. Brooks?

It doesn't really matter. If your intention is to be shocked by Costner, you'll see the film, but be disappointed. If you're wanting to see a sharp thriller, you'd be better served trying to catch the last screening of Fracture. But if you want to see a film set in Portland, this is the movie for you.

A couple leftover thoughts:

* Great poster - simple, yet effective.

* Though I'm really not trying to bag on Costner too much (he has been great in his career before), if you listen carefully, he starts off the film (the first ten minutes or so) with a faint accent, though I can't tell what its origins are supposed to be. However, it totally disappears, never to be heard again. Considering his past with accents (coughRobinHoodcough), I'm surprised he went to that well at all in the first place.

* If you ever felt security with the chain lock on your front door (not that you did, really), you won't have any left after this. Such a simple removal, yet one that I had never seen on film before (nor thought of, to be honest).

Fletch's Film Rating:

"Whatever."

And then...

Fletch's Film Review: Ocean's Thirteen

The Ocean's series are perfect summer movies. Say what you will about the second (I didn't care for it in the theater, but it has grown on me significantly via cable viewings), but all three do exactly what they are intended to do and more: they are mindless popcorn flicks that entertain without insulting your intelligence. Sure, there are unbelievable scams here and there, but the sheer volume of characters (and their respective talents) make most of it believable. Also, with a strong, confident director, and capable writers, you never feel like you're being left out to dry.

Without saying too much (the trailer has said plenty already), the scam this time involves getting revenge on another casino owner, this time played by Al Pacino, who brings a lot to the acting table, and thankfully spares us the now-clichéd "Hoo-ah!" speech that he's become known for ever since Scent of a Woman (a rejuvenated Ellen Barkin is also on board, as Pacino's right-hand woman). Notably (and thankfully, I think) absent are Julia Roberts and Catherine Zeta-Jones, as their characters are apparently stuck in Europe or something, while the whole gang ends up back in Vegas. More so than in the first, the return to and of Vegas is a running theme, and it adds a deeper meaning to the film that was absent previously.

Along the way, many loose ends are tied up, many old friends show up, new characters introduced (most notably the nebbishy David Paymer as a hotel reviewer, as well as a Super Dave Osborne appearance), some great cameos, a number of in-jokes, and a whole lot of disguises. Among the most impressive scams Soberberg pulls off is the inclusion of a fabricated grand hotel right smack dab in the middle of the strip - and it's not like it's just one CGI shot; there are numerous shots from various angles.

All that said, the best and most important things I can say about Ocean's Thirteen are that a) I had a smile on my face the entire time (excluding the first 15 minutes, when a gaggle of teenage comedians sitting in front of us decided to use the theater as an improv class, to poor results), and b) it made me want to get on the next plane to Las Vegas. Perhaps Clooney and the gang should be getting residuals from the Bellagio. Talk about free advertising.

Fletch's Film Rating:

"It's in the hole!"


* Oh, and by the way: I wondered the other day who the "13th" person was that would make the title complete. Though they never reference it in the movie, it's safe to say that it's Eddie Izzard - his role gets a bit bigger here, and more than just being a "vendor" as he was before, he actually takes an active role in the scam. So that's that.

* Fun fact time: Super Dave Osborne aka Bob Einstein is Albert Brooks' brother. Yes, Albert Brooks' real name is Albert Einstein.

And then...

Sports Movie UMVPs

Just for posterity's sake, and so that I can get double the mileage points for this column - here's the post I wrote last week for The Hater Nation.

------------------------------------------

When Adam asked me to write something for THN, I was honored at first, then excited, then a bit terrified. After all, even though I'm a sports fan, I'm nowhere near the fanatic (or writer) that many sports bloggers are. Also, I write a blog that is 94% about movies, 3% about other pop culture happenings, and 3% sports (maybe). So there was certainly a challenge to writing something in my strengths to a sports-demanding audience.

Then again, there are a whole lot of movie fans out there, and there are a whole lot of sports films to admire and/or mock (and sometimes both at the same time).

I thought I'd start by handing out some kudos to some of the unheralded sports movie characters (or actors). Sure, everyone talks about how Kevin Costner was great in Bull Durham and that Tim Robbins throws like a girl, or that Chevy Chase and Rodney Dangerfield owned Caddyshack, but what about Brian Doyle-Murray? Let's pat some backs...

Jay Tarses, "Coach Bobby Flinstock," Teen Wolf
Amongst the unheralded MVPs, this guy is the MVP. One quote says it all:
"There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese."

Brian Doyle-Murray, "Lou Loomis," Caddyshack
Chevy, Rodney, and younger brother Bill get all the attention here, but Brian (who co-wrote Caddyshack with Harold Ramis) deserves a lot of the credit for the success of the movie. Aside from writing it, he was the official during the finale and also told a kid to "pick up that blood." Classic.



Omar Epps, "Willie Mays Hayes," Major League II
No, he didn't originate the role, but as the only major character in the sequel to Major League to be played by someone else, Epps had some large shoes to fill playing the character that Wesley Snipes built. And he does what amounts to a great impersonation. Unfortunately, that kind of laid out a pattern for his career - picking up the slop that Wesley didn't want. Though I guess with a steady gig on House, Omar's probably not too concerned with that these days (where'd Wesley go, anyway?).


Jimmy Fallon, "Ben Wrightman," Fever Pitch
Coming off the wildly successful Taxi, Fallon stepped into the batter's box and nailed one out of the park with this Farrelly brother-directed ode to the Red Sox. Showing such great chemistry with co-star Drew Barrymore, Jimmy --
(Gotcha.)



Scott Caan, "Charlie Tweeder," Varsity Blues
I'm not interested in Billy Bob Thornton and Friday Night Lights - I want to see James Van Der Beek tell his dad, "I don't want...your life!" Meanwhile, Scott Caan steals all of his scenes with his sheer obnoxiousness and bizarre brand of machismo, highlighted by this throwaway sequence between Van Der Beek's "Mox" and "Tweeder":
Mox: Tweeder, you think you'll enjoy prison?
Charlie Tweeder: [not paying attention] I don't know.
[looks up]
Charlie Tweeder: What?

Kelly Preston, "Avery Bishop," Jerry Maguire
"Don't...ever...stop...f*cking...me!!!"

'Nuff said.









Allen Covert, "Otto," Happy Gilmore
Long before he became officially known as "one of Adam Sandler's buddies that appears in all his movies," Covert's homeless man plucked from the street to be Happy's caddy practically stole all of his Gilmore scenes, despite barely uttering a word the whole time. Gold.




Bolo Yeung, "Chong Li," Bloodsport
You'd think that playing the lead villain in one of the most enjoyable guilty pleasure films of all time would have made Yeung a star in America - after all, the guy was in Enter the Dragon some 15 years (!) earlier. But no, while Jackie Chan crossed over to fame, fortune, and a horrible franchise with Chris Tucker, Bolo was relegated to being Van Damme's nemesis in Double Impact. Ouch.

And then...