Fletch's Favored Five: 1985 in Film

Now, the eighth in a continuing series in which I count down my favorites from a particular year in film. Previous entries:

1984 * 1991 * 1997 * 1988 * 2002 * 1993 * 1990

I'm going to use Wikipedia to kickstart my brain, year by year, and I'll throw out a Favored Five here and there. If you want to refresh your memory in a similar fashion, just go to Wiki and type "[four-character year] in film." Here's the one for 1985. I won't pretend that Wiki is the end-all, be-all of filmic knowledge or that these yearly lists are 100% accurate, but they're an excellent place to start and a great resource.

1985
Holy hell! It figures that the year smack dab in the middle would encapsulate the 80s so well. If I didn't know better, I'd swear that 90% of the films that define this decade were released this year - many of which won't even be making my Favored Five. Nevertheless, it appear as though 1985 is the home to many of my favorite movies of all time.

As is the case with just about any year I've covered in which I was but a wee lad for it (I was eight years old for much of 1985), I've seen most of the cheese and few of the prestige films. Though really, the Academy Awards were dominated by four films that year, with The Color Purple and Out of Africa receiving 11 nominations each, and Prizzi's Honor and Witness nabbing eight apiece, and I've seen half of those four, so I'm not doing all bad.

Good luck picking your five from 1985 - it's tough!

Notable movies not yet seen:
The Color Purple
Fandango (for Andy)
Kiss of the Spider Woman
Legend
Prizzi's Honor
Rambo: First Blood, Part II
Real Genius
St. Elmo's Fire

Honorable mentions:
Brazil
The Breakfast Club
Commando
Rocky IV
Vision Quest

5. Better Off Dead - Whither Savage Steve Holland? I'll never understand why this man didn't become a star. His first two films are this one and One Crazy Summer, aka two Hall of Fame 80s movies and probably the two biggest reasons that you know John Cusack's name. This one's awfully campy and occasionally becomes that which it parodies (the absolute ending is brutally cringeworthy), but the writing is just so absurd and dark that it demands to be appreciated. You've got to love a comedy in which its protagonist wants to commit suicide, you just have to.

4. Teen Wolf - Films 4, 3, and 2 on this list are pretty far ahead of number 5 and pretty far from number 1, but each lumped pretty tightly in my heart. The separation I've gone with here lies mostly in terms of their general craftsmanship.

Teen Wolf, for example, practically feels like a made-for-TV movie. The effects are far from awe-inspiring and there's not a star to be found in the cast outside of Fox, who even then was still know mostly for Family Ties. (It was actually released while Back to the Future was still in theaters, but I get the feeling that it was filmed prior and released to capitalize on BTTF's success.) It's all very small, even down to it's star stature (heyo!).

But boy is it memorable. Pamela Wells, her 35-year old boyfriend, the immortal Jerry Levine as the even more immortal Styles, "Boof," "Chunk" "Chubby," Coach Flinstock's three rules for life, "Give me a keg of beer" - where does it end? Even a crappy Saturday morning cartoon was spawned (and, admittedly, watched a few times by yours truly) by Wolf, not to mention the Jason Bateman-starring sequel that no one cares about.

An epic of my childhood right up there with The Karate Kid. And no, my name is not Bill Simmons (for the three people that might be thinking that right now).

3. The Goonies - Then there's this one. Just as memorable and lovable, but with it, much higher production values and much, much more. I wanted to be Mikey when I watched this flick: he was just a few years older, lived in a sweet Northwestern town (I always wanted to live near a forest), had a sweet group of dorky friends, and got to hunt for secret pirate treasure, for chrissakes!

It's quite possible that the kids of today won't care for The Goonies like the kids of the 80s did. To them, I say, "Goonies never say die." "Hey!! You!! Guys!!" "The marijuana goes in the top drawer. The cocaine and speed go in the second drawer. And the heroin goes in the bottom drawer. Always separate the drugs."

2. Back to the Future - And now, to the one that's most likely the number 1 choice of 95% of the people that will read this. Aiden recently gave this a fresh look, and no surprise that it walked away with a 9/10. Many would give it a 10, and deservedly so - Bob Zemekis crafted one of the last, best adventure flicks we've had not named Indiana Jones (and there was really only one more of those to come), an amazingly richly detailed film filled with humor, action, kickass music, and Huey Lewis. For all of the times I've seen BTTF and its sequel, I still feel like I haven't seen them nearly enough (strangely, I've never seen the third al the way through).

1. Fletch - As if this was ever in doubt. Amazingly, this post will mark the first time that Fletch (the movie) will be used as a post label, which means that for nearly four years, I've barely spoken a word about one of my all-time favorite films and the inspiration for my online alias. How in the hell did this happen?

As you might have guessed, I actually didn't get into Fletch as an 8-year old, but rather during my later high school years, when my then-best friend and I would watch it religiously. Over that time, I advanced to the point where I might be able to act the film out for you in its entirety. I won't tolerate any opinion that derides this as some cheesy 80s comedy, though; certainly, the music is dated (if lovable) and the outfits (who wears short shorts?) can be questionable when compared to today's climate, but damned if this isn't one hell of a script! So many jokes piled upon jokes, they fly at you like insults from Don Rickles (more timeliness!). I could go on and on about all of the things I love about Fletch (Gummy! Dr. Rosen Rosen! The familiar red Oldsmobuick of Mr. Arnold T. Pants, Esq., "Far as you know."), but I'll spare you.

And then...

Recycling Rocks: Sports Movie UMVPs

(Note: This post was originally written for The Hater Nation and was published on 6/11/07. Busy with work today, and always felt that this post was unloved, much like the subjects below. So read it and tell me happy things and I'll tell the guys and gals - it's really a win-win-win.)

When Adam asked me to write something for THN, I was honored at first, then excited, then a bit terrified. After all, even though I'm a sports fan, I'm nowhere near the fanatic (or writer) that many sports bloggers are. Also, I write a blog that is 94% about movies, 3% about other pop culture happenings, and 3% sports (maybe). So there was certainly a challenge to writing something in my strengths to a sports-demanding audience.

Then again, there are a whole lot of movie fans out there, and there are a whole lot of sports films to admire and/or mock (and sometimes both at the same time).

I thought I'd start by handing out some kudos to some of the unheralded sports movie characters (or actors). Sure, everyone talks about how Kevin Costner was great in Bull Durham and that Tim Robbins throws like a girl, or that Chevy Chase and Rodney Dangerfield owned Caddyshack, but what about Brian Doyle-Murray? Let's pat some backs...

Jay Tarses, "Coach Bobby Flinstock," Teen Wolf
Amongst the unheralded MVPs, this guy is the MVP. One quote says it all:
"There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese."

Brian Doyle-Murray, "Lou Loomis," Caddyshack
Chevy, Rodney, and younger brother Bill get all the attention here, but Brian (who co-wrote Caddyshack with Harold Ramis) deserves a lot of the credit for the success of the movie. Aside from writing it, he was the official during the finale and also told a kid to "pick up that blood." Classic.

Omar Epps, "Willie Mays Hayes," Major League II
No, he didn't originate the role, but as the only major character in the sequel to Major League to be played by someone else, Epps had some large shoes to fill playing the character that Wesley Snipes built. And he does what amounts to a great impersonation. Unfortunately, that kind of laid out a pattern for his career - picking up the slop that Wesley didn't want. Though I guess with a steady gig on House, Omar's probably not too concerned with that these days (where'd Wesley go, anyway?).

Jimmy Fallon, "Ben Wrightman," Fever Pitch
Coming off the wildly successful Taxi, Fallon stepped into the batter's box and nailed one out of the park with this Farrelly brother-directed ode to the Red Sox. Showing such great chemistry with co-star Drew Barrymore, Jimmy --
(Gotcha.)


Scott Caan, "Charlie Tweeder," Varsity Blues
I'm not interested in Billy Bob Thornton and Friday Night Lights - I want to see James Van Der Beek tell his dad, "I don't want...your life!" Meanwhile, Scott Caan steals all of his scenes with his sheer obnoxiousness and bizarre brand of machismo, highlighted by this throwaway sequence between Van Der Beek's "Mox" and "Tweeder":
Mox: Tweeder, you think you'll enjoy prison?
Charlie Tweeder: [not paying attention] I don't know.
[looks up]
Charlie Tweeder: What?

Kelly Preston, "Avery Bishop," Jerry Maguire
"Don't...ever...stop...f*cking...me!!!"

'Nuff said.







Allen Covert, "Otto," Happy Gilmore
Long before he became officially known as "one of Adam Sandler's buddies that appears in all his movies," Covert's homeless man plucked from the street to be Happy's caddy practically stole all of his Gilmore scenes, despite barely uttering a word the whole time. Gold.



Bolo Yeung, "Chong Li," Bloodsport
You'd think that playing the lead villain in one of the most enjoyable guilty pleasure films of all time would have made Yeung a star in America - after all, the guy was in Enter the Dragon some 15 years (!) earlier. But no, while Jackie Chan crossed over to fame, fortune, and a horrible franchise with Chris Tucker, Bolo was relegated to being Van Damme's nemesis in Double Impact. Ouch.

And then...

That's right...I'm Guilty.

What the hell is wrong with people? What about the term "guilty pleasure" do they not understand? In doing research for this post, which will be featured in Invasion of the B Movies' Guilty Pleasures Blog-a-thon, I kept finding examples of guilty pleasures listed by denizens of the interwebs that couldn't (or at least shouldn't) be declared guilty pleasures by anyone. One listed The Goonies and Easy Rider, amongst other films that would qualify (K-9, Police Academy 3).

However, the worst offender was this list from "Unspun by Amazon" (whatever that is), which lists Titanic as number one of a neverending list of g.p.'s. Now, I can understand some homophobic males feeling shame at their love of this sap fest, but it's the number one box office hit of all time! Winner of 73 Academy Awards! It shouldn't be anywhere near a guilty pleasure list, much less topping it. Worse yet was seeing The Princess Bride come in at number twelve. Inconceivable!!

Folks, guilty pleasures are supposed to be bad movies and/or ones so embarrassing that you're ashamed to admit your love for them. This article from MSNBC (which features a number of fine choices) defines a g.p. as such:

"1) If it comes on cable do you sit down and watch the entire film even though you've already seen it 20 times? 2) Do you watch it even though you also own it on DVD or video?) And finally, would you ever admit to anyone that this film is one of your favorite movies? If the answers are, respectively, yes, yes and no, well then you've found your guilty pleasure flick."

Wikipedia declares a g.p. as "something one considers pleasurable despite feeling guilt for enjoying it. Guilty pleasures can also be bad for you and ruin people if other people found out about it."

And finally, probably the most succinct definition, courtesy of one of my favorite writers, Chuck Klosterman: "A guilty pleasure is something I pretend to like ironically, but in truth is something I really just like."

Anyway, here are my Top 10 Guilty Pleasure Movies (in no particular order):

Road House - The hair. The yoga. The Double friggin' Duece. And Sam Elliott saying "'Migo" every five minutes.

Teen Wolf - Given ample love in this space many a time before.

The Karate Kid - No, inclusion of this and the previous two movies does not make me a Bill Simmons clone. Just because he writes for ESPN doesn't mean he gets to own the love for these movies. He can have The White Shadow, though.

Aspen Extreme - Just about any movie that can be summed up as "Top Gun on/in the __," as in "Aspen Extreme is awesome! It's Top Gun on the ski slopes!" is a movie I'm likely to love. If you're asking why Top Gun isn't in this Top 10 list, please re-read the first few paragraphs (and how dare you for thinking that).

Demolition Man - I can not tell a lie: this is one of my favorite Stallone flicks. I'm a sucker for glimpses into the future anyway, but when they include lines like "All restaurants are Taco Bell" and sequences that the three seashells bring, I'm just plain gung ho for it.

Billy Madison - Now, there's probably a group of you screaming about how this too shouldn't be a guilty pleasure. Well, maybe you're right, but it does rank amongst the dumbest Sandler flicks out there. Awesome, but dumb. It's the Mallrats of Sandler's career.

Bloodsport - Also covered here (and in the comments' section of a number of other sites) ad nauseum.

Double Impact - Two JCVD flicks? You're damn straight. One for each twin.

Crocodile Dundee - I hesitate to put this here, as I do think it's a well-made movie and is largely entertaining. The thing is...it's aged about as well as a meth head. Love that alphabet dress, though...

Hudson Hawk - The Bruce Willis-Danny Aiello crime caper earned universal scorn upon its release, but it's a much better film than you think. Yea, it's silly and kind of dumb, but it also has a touch of class, a deep cast (James Coburn! David Caruso! Andie MacDowell! Sandra Bernhardt?!? Okay, forget the last one) and some great tunes.

Barely missing the cut: Last Action Hero, Varsity Blues.

And then...

Sports Movie UMVPs

Just for posterity's sake, and so that I can get double the mileage points for this column - here's the post I wrote last week for The Hater Nation.

------------------------------------------

When Adam asked me to write something for THN, I was honored at first, then excited, then a bit terrified. After all, even though I'm a sports fan, I'm nowhere near the fanatic (or writer) that many sports bloggers are. Also, I write a blog that is 94% about movies, 3% about other pop culture happenings, and 3% sports (maybe). So there was certainly a challenge to writing something in my strengths to a sports-demanding audience.

Then again, there are a whole lot of movie fans out there, and there are a whole lot of sports films to admire and/or mock (and sometimes both at the same time).

I thought I'd start by handing out some kudos to some of the unheralded sports movie characters (or actors). Sure, everyone talks about how Kevin Costner was great in Bull Durham and that Tim Robbins throws like a girl, or that Chevy Chase and Rodney Dangerfield owned Caddyshack, but what about Brian Doyle-Murray? Let's pat some backs...

Jay Tarses, "Coach Bobby Flinstock," Teen Wolf
Amongst the unheralded MVPs, this guy is the MVP. One quote says it all:
"There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese."

Brian Doyle-Murray, "Lou Loomis," Caddyshack
Chevy, Rodney, and younger brother Bill get all the attention here, but Brian (who co-wrote Caddyshack with Harold Ramis) deserves a lot of the credit for the success of the movie. Aside from writing it, he was the official during the finale and also told a kid to "pick up that blood." Classic.



Omar Epps, "Willie Mays Hayes," Major League II
No, he didn't originate the role, but as the only major character in the sequel to Major League to be played by someone else, Epps had some large shoes to fill playing the character that Wesley Snipes built. And he does what amounts to a great impersonation. Unfortunately, that kind of laid out a pattern for his career - picking up the slop that Wesley didn't want. Though I guess with a steady gig on House, Omar's probably not too concerned with that these days (where'd Wesley go, anyway?).


Jimmy Fallon, "Ben Wrightman," Fever Pitch
Coming off the wildly successful Taxi, Fallon stepped into the batter's box and nailed one out of the park with this Farrelly brother-directed ode to the Red Sox. Showing such great chemistry with co-star Drew Barrymore, Jimmy --
(Gotcha.)



Scott Caan, "Charlie Tweeder," Varsity Blues
I'm not interested in Billy Bob Thornton and Friday Night Lights - I want to see James Van Der Beek tell his dad, "I don't want...your life!" Meanwhile, Scott Caan steals all of his scenes with his sheer obnoxiousness and bizarre brand of machismo, highlighted by this throwaway sequence between Van Der Beek's "Mox" and "Tweeder":
Mox: Tweeder, you think you'll enjoy prison?
Charlie Tweeder: [not paying attention] I don't know.
[looks up]
Charlie Tweeder: What?

Kelly Preston, "Avery Bishop," Jerry Maguire
"Don't...ever...stop...f*cking...me!!!"

'Nuff said.









Allen Covert, "Otto," Happy Gilmore
Long before he became officially known as "one of Adam Sandler's buddies that appears in all his movies," Covert's homeless man plucked from the street to be Happy's caddy practically stole all of his Gilmore scenes, despite barely uttering a word the whole time. Gold.




Bolo Yeung, "Chong Li," Bloodsport
You'd think that playing the lead villain in one of the most enjoyable guilty pleasure films of all time would have made Yeung a star in America - after all, the guy was in Enter the Dragon some 15 years (!) earlier. But no, while Jackie Chan crossed over to fame, fortune, and a horrible franchise with Chris Tucker, Bolo was relegated to being Van Damme's nemesis in Double Impact. Ouch.

And then...

LeBron needs to have a talk with his dad

In case you missed it, or if you aren't into basketball (Hi, Mrs. Fletch!), LeBron James went off last night and single-handedly beat the Pistons, scoring the last 25 Cavaliers points, and 29 of the final 30.

Naturally, this makes me think that James is a werewolf. It was a full moon last night, after all...



(Unfortunately, I couldn't find a clip that consists solely of the first game in Teen Wolf, where Scott first "wolfs out" and takes over the game, so this will have to suffice. Skip to the 3-minute mark for the best parts.)

And then...

Fletch's Favored Five: Movies that Roll

It's high time to unveil a new feature here in the Blog Cabins. While Top 10 lists are highly cliched and terribly unoriginal, "Favored Five" are wildly clever and wholly unique. Therefore, I shall periodically choose a topic of my liking and tell you which are the top, er, favored films that fit into said topic. (If you like, you can suggest a topic for me to cover by emailing me.)

Today's topic: Movies that Roll

I don't know if you've noticed, but movies that either revolve around or feature bowling are much better than those that don't. Ok, that might be a bit of an exaggeration, but there certainly seems to be some magic brought on by the scent of cigarettes and beer and the sounds of pins crashing - just go here for more evidence. For the purposes of this article, I'm only looking at films that feature bowling, but do not revolve around it completely (which, to my knowledge, only knocks out Kingpin and possibly some documentaries about real-life bowlers).

5. Pleasantville: There's really not a lot of bowling going on here, but the scene in the bowling alley is pretty key, and features a pissed off J.T. Walsh, which is always a good thing when it comes to film. William H. Macy has just come home from work, only to find out that his loving wife has not cooked him dinner (!). Cue thunder and lightning, along with a walk to the bowling alley, where the men have gathered (naturally) to discuss just what in sam hell is wrong with the womenfolk. (Note: Pleasantville also may make a list in the near future for having one of the all-time great soundtrack songs/cover songs, with Fiona Apple's interpretation of The Beatles "Across the Universe." Check it out if you can.)

4. Napoleon Dynamite: Another short bowling scene in a pretty good movie, as we get a dose of Uncle Rico and Kip making their way to the lanes to strategize their sales and marketing strategy as only they can. Docked some points here for the brevity of the bowling.

3. Teen Wolf: That Scott Howard sure turned into a cocky bastard once he became a little more comfortable with the "wolf out" abilities. Here we see young Scott raising the ire of 35-year old Mick by taking his girlfriend, the much desired Pamela Wells, to the lanes for an evening of bowling lessons, ball throwing and extraneous hair.

2. Uncle Buck: Entire books could probably be written about the mystery that is John Hughes' career. The undisputed King of the 80s teen comedy has written a ton of movies, though the last good and/or successful one was 1990's Home Alone. Meanwhile, he has only directed 8 films in his entire career (!!), starting with Sixteen Candles in 1984 and concluding with Curly Sue in 1991. In between, he made (in order): The Breakfast Club, Weird Science, Ferris Buehler's Day Off, Planes, Trains & Automobiles, She's Having a Baby and Uncle Buck. A simply amazing run of success if ever there was one.

Uncle Buck brought us one of the last, great performances by John Candy, and it ranks number two in the countdown. Buck was a big-time bowler, so when he handles his nieces and nephew (a pre-Home Alone Macaulay Culkin) for a few days, you can't blame the guy for taking them bowling. The icing on the cake is when a sleazy buddy of Buck's comes over to hit on his 16-year old niece Tia, only to make a fool of himself getting a toothpick stuck inside his mouth. Ouch.

1. The Big Lebowski: As if there could possibly be another choice. Though it does not technically revolve around bowling in the way that something like Kingpin does, Lebowski isn't far off, with a good third (and possibly half) of its scenes taking place at the lanes, in some fashion or another. It's probably also the most realistic portrayal of bowlers/bowling yet, what with the ultra-competitive Walter Sobchak and the beer guts and wrist protectors featured in the opening credits.

F*ck it Dude, let's go bowling.

And then...