Fletch's Favored Five: 1988 in Film

Now, the fourth in a continuing series in which I count down my favorites from a particular year in film. Previous entries:

1997 * 1991 * 1984

I'm going to use my friend Wikipedia to kickstart my brain, year by year, and I'll throw out a Favored Five here and there. If you want to refresh your memory in a similar fashion, just go to Wiki and type "[four-character year] in film." Here's the one for 1988. I won't pretend that Wiki is the end-all, be-all of filmic knowledge or that these yearly lists are 100% accurate, but they're an excellent place to start and a great resource.

1988
Not a lot of surprises here - the films selected as my Favored Five are likely what you'd expect from someone who was 11/12 years of age in 1988. Ditto the movies I've not yet seen. The only thing that might surprise you is the inclusion of Frantic amongst my honorable mentions, over such higher acclaimed fare as Rain Man and A Fish Called Wanda, or even Scrooged. It's not to say that I don't enjoy those films, but I thought to myself how odd it would be to place such films high amongst my rankings, considered I've seen none more than a handful of times, whereas the ones that made the lists are films I can practically recite (in some cases).

Notable movies not yet seen:
The Accused
Akira
Dangerous Liasons
Eight Men Out
The Last Temptation of Christ
Midnight Run
Mississippi Burning

Honorable Mentions
Beetlejuice
Frantic
The Naked Gun
Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
Willow

5. Big - You know I love the next four a lot when a great film such as this comes in fifth. There's not much wrong with Big; I gave it a re-watching recently, and aside from some unavoidable aging (cars, toys used, general technology) and the dodgy "So, was Liz Perkins a pedophile?" question, it's just as meaningful and funny now as it was then.

4. Bull Durham - Unquestionably one of the greatest sports films of all time and I won't hear anything otherwise. Ron Shelton (White Men Can't Jump, Blue Chips, Tin Cup) remains the only writer I'm aware of that can write sports movies that feel authentic and fresh at the same time, and the fact that he spares us the "inspirational" endings of so many others only endears me to him more (even if he hasn't made a relevant film since 1996).

3. Bloodsport - If you've been coming here for any time at all, or are a friend of mine of Facebook, or in real life - basically, if you know me at all, then you know I ♥ this movie with all my ♥. So why is it numero très and not numero uno? Well, love of trash does have its limits, and as hilarious and (I'm sad to say) important to me as this guilty pleasure is, it's still a guilty pleasure, and the next two movies are far, far superior in quality while still holding a special place in my ♥.

2. Coming to America - Take your 48 Hrs. and your Beverly Hills Cop(s) and maybe even Trading Places - I'll take Coming to America as my choice for Eddie Murphy's best, if not funniest, movie. Not-really-cameos from Sam Jackson, Cuba Gooding, Jr., Louis Anderson and Vondie Curtis-Hall, Eriq LaSalle's jheri curls, Arsenio Hall getting most of the great lines, Sexual Chocolate, Darth Vader himself as a King, Murphy and Hall playing no less than five characters each, the Royal Penis - what more do you want?

1. Die Hard - There really can be no other option here. A no bullsh*t action movie that keeps the tension and comedy high and the stupidity low (Karl coming back to life is the only thing that really stands out). Movies with Heroes (shorthand for action flicks, fantasies, adventures, etc.) are only as good as their villains, and Alan Rickman gave us one of the most memorable in Bill Clay aka Hans Gruber. The inevitable sequels have inevitably taken off some of the luster from the franchise (go ahead, re-watch the second - it's pretty awful, to say nothing of the abominable fourth), but it served as the template for action movies for at least 15 years beyond its arrival. Kudos to Jim Rome for maintaining some of its cultural relevance.

And then...

Recycling Rocks: Sports Movie UMVPs

(Note: This post was originally written for The Hater Nation and was published on 6/11/07. Busy with work today, and always felt that this post was unloved, much like the subjects below. So read it and tell me happy things and I'll tell the guys and gals - it's really a win-win-win.)

When Adam asked me to write something for THN, I was honored at first, then excited, then a bit terrified. After all, even though I'm a sports fan, I'm nowhere near the fanatic (or writer) that many sports bloggers are. Also, I write a blog that is 94% about movies, 3% about other pop culture happenings, and 3% sports (maybe). So there was certainly a challenge to writing something in my strengths to a sports-demanding audience.

Then again, there are a whole lot of movie fans out there, and there are a whole lot of sports films to admire and/or mock (and sometimes both at the same time).

I thought I'd start by handing out some kudos to some of the unheralded sports movie characters (or actors). Sure, everyone talks about how Kevin Costner was great in Bull Durham and that Tim Robbins throws like a girl, or that Chevy Chase and Rodney Dangerfield owned Caddyshack, but what about Brian Doyle-Murray? Let's pat some backs...

Jay Tarses, "Coach Bobby Flinstock," Teen Wolf
Amongst the unheralded MVPs, this guy is the MVP. One quote says it all:
"There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese."

Brian Doyle-Murray, "Lou Loomis," Caddyshack
Chevy, Rodney, and younger brother Bill get all the attention here, but Brian (who co-wrote Caddyshack with Harold Ramis) deserves a lot of the credit for the success of the movie. Aside from writing it, he was the official during the finale and also told a kid to "pick up that blood." Classic.

Omar Epps, "Willie Mays Hayes," Major League II
No, he didn't originate the role, but as the only major character in the sequel to Major League to be played by someone else, Epps had some large shoes to fill playing the character that Wesley Snipes built. And he does what amounts to a great impersonation. Unfortunately, that kind of laid out a pattern for his career - picking up the slop that Wesley didn't want. Though I guess with a steady gig on House, Omar's probably not too concerned with that these days (where'd Wesley go, anyway?).

Jimmy Fallon, "Ben Wrightman," Fever Pitch
Coming off the wildly successful Taxi, Fallon stepped into the batter's box and nailed one out of the park with this Farrelly brother-directed ode to the Red Sox. Showing such great chemistry with co-star Drew Barrymore, Jimmy --
(Gotcha.)


Scott Caan, "Charlie Tweeder," Varsity Blues
I'm not interested in Billy Bob Thornton and Friday Night Lights - I want to see James Van Der Beek tell his dad, "I don't want...your life!" Meanwhile, Scott Caan steals all of his scenes with his sheer obnoxiousness and bizarre brand of machismo, highlighted by this throwaway sequence between Van Der Beek's "Mox" and "Tweeder":
Mox: Tweeder, you think you'll enjoy prison?
Charlie Tweeder: [not paying attention] I don't know.
[looks up]
Charlie Tweeder: What?

Kelly Preston, "Avery Bishop," Jerry Maguire
"Don't...ever...stop...f*cking...me!!!"

'Nuff said.







Allen Covert, "Otto," Happy Gilmore
Long before he became officially known as "one of Adam Sandler's buddies that appears in all his movies," Covert's homeless man plucked from the street to be Happy's caddy practically stole all of his Gilmore scenes, despite barely uttering a word the whole time. Gold.



Bolo Yeung, "Chong Li," Bloodsport
You'd think that playing the lead villain in one of the most enjoyable guilty pleasure films of all time would have made Yeung a star in America - after all, the guy was in Enter the Dragon some 15 years (!) earlier. But no, while Jackie Chan crossed over to fame, fortune, and a horrible franchise with Chris Tucker, Bolo was relegated to being Van Damme's nemesis in Double Impact. Ouch.

And then...

That's right...I'm Guilty.

What the hell is wrong with people? What about the term "guilty pleasure" do they not understand? In doing research for this post, which will be featured in Invasion of the B Movies' Guilty Pleasures Blog-a-thon, I kept finding examples of guilty pleasures listed by denizens of the interwebs that couldn't (or at least shouldn't) be declared guilty pleasures by anyone. One listed The Goonies and Easy Rider, amongst other films that would qualify (K-9, Police Academy 3).

However, the worst offender was this list from "Unspun by Amazon" (whatever that is), which lists Titanic as number one of a neverending list of g.p.'s. Now, I can understand some homophobic males feeling shame at their love of this sap fest, but it's the number one box office hit of all time! Winner of 73 Academy Awards! It shouldn't be anywhere near a guilty pleasure list, much less topping it. Worse yet was seeing The Princess Bride come in at number twelve. Inconceivable!!

Folks, guilty pleasures are supposed to be bad movies and/or ones so embarrassing that you're ashamed to admit your love for them. This article from MSNBC (which features a number of fine choices) defines a g.p. as such:

"1) If it comes on cable do you sit down and watch the entire film even though you've already seen it 20 times? 2) Do you watch it even though you also own it on DVD or video?) And finally, would you ever admit to anyone that this film is one of your favorite movies? If the answers are, respectively, yes, yes and no, well then you've found your guilty pleasure flick."

Wikipedia declares a g.p. as "something one considers pleasurable despite feeling guilt for enjoying it. Guilty pleasures can also be bad for you and ruin people if other people found out about it."

And finally, probably the most succinct definition, courtesy of one of my favorite writers, Chuck Klosterman: "A guilty pleasure is something I pretend to like ironically, but in truth is something I really just like."

Anyway, here are my Top 10 Guilty Pleasure Movies (in no particular order):

Road House - The hair. The yoga. The Double friggin' Duece. And Sam Elliott saying "'Migo" every five minutes.

Teen Wolf - Given ample love in this space many a time before.

The Karate Kid - No, inclusion of this and the previous two movies does not make me a Bill Simmons clone. Just because he writes for ESPN doesn't mean he gets to own the love for these movies. He can have The White Shadow, though.

Aspen Extreme - Just about any movie that can be summed up as "Top Gun on/in the __," as in "Aspen Extreme is awesome! It's Top Gun on the ski slopes!" is a movie I'm likely to love. If you're asking why Top Gun isn't in this Top 10 list, please re-read the first few paragraphs (and how dare you for thinking that).

Demolition Man - I can not tell a lie: this is one of my favorite Stallone flicks. I'm a sucker for glimpses into the future anyway, but when they include lines like "All restaurants are Taco Bell" and sequences that the three seashells bring, I'm just plain gung ho for it.

Billy Madison - Now, there's probably a group of you screaming about how this too shouldn't be a guilty pleasure. Well, maybe you're right, but it does rank amongst the dumbest Sandler flicks out there. Awesome, but dumb. It's the Mallrats of Sandler's career.

Bloodsport - Also covered here (and in the comments' section of a number of other sites) ad nauseum.

Double Impact - Two JCVD flicks? You're damn straight. One for each twin.

Crocodile Dundee - I hesitate to put this here, as I do think it's a well-made movie and is largely entertaining. The thing is...it's aged about as well as a meth head. Love that alphabet dress, though...

Hudson Hawk - The Bruce Willis-Danny Aiello crime caper earned universal scorn upon its release, but it's a much better film than you think. Yea, it's silly and kind of dumb, but it also has a touch of class, a deep cast (James Coburn! David Caruso! Andie MacDowell! Sandra Bernhardt?!? Okay, forget the last one) and some great tunes.

Barely missing the cut: Last Action Hero, Varsity Blues.

And then...

TGITDNMAR (3/14/08)

It's that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released.

Yes, I realize I've been pretty flaky when it comes to this feature. By nature, it should be a weekly post, but this is what happens when Survivor starts and I still have the same amount of hours in the day to pop out two posts on a Friday morning/afternoon. Lucky for you, I live-blogged the Survivor episode last night, freeing up some time this mornin' for this here post. Aren't you relieved?

Horton Hears a Who
Does Horton hear me not caring? Mrs. Fletch wants to see this for some reason, but I can't say that it looks any good to me, despite the all-star cast of vocal talent (Carrey, Carrell, Burnett, Arnett, Rogen and on and on). Maybe it's because I never read this Suess book. Can't they make a movie out of Are You My Mother? I'd be all over that one. The crane rocked.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 40%

Doomsday
From the looks of this, I'm surprised it's not a Rob Zombie directorial effort. No, this 28 ___ Later... clone was brought to us by Neil Marshall, helmer of the much-lauded (and tremendously overrated, if you ask me) The Descent. On the bright side, it's starring Bob Hoskins and Rhona Mitra, who's otherwise known to me as the best thing about Hollow Man.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 3%

Never Back Down
Poor Djimon Hounsou. He's clearly shown talent in his >10 year career (In America, Gladiator, Amistad), but something must be wrong when he's relegated to the mentor role in a crappy-looking mashup of Fight Club and Bloodsport. Then again, I love both those films, so maybe this one will surprise me on cable. TNT, please don't forsake me.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 1%

Funny Games
It's no secret that the intent of this film is to make the audience uncomfortable/squirm/angry. I guess I just don't get it; I'd put it in a category with some of John Waters' films (that granted, I haven't seen but heard about) whose intent is to gross you out. Sorry, folks, I might go to the movies to learn or to be entertained or to be challenged or even for an adrenaline-filled scare, but being grossed out or revolted isn't on my menu. Save that for the Faces of Death crowd, k?
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 5%

Sleepwalking
Listen, I know he's kind of weird, and perhaps turns people off with the whole hemp thing, but can someone please tell me why Woody Harrelson isn't a bigger star? I hadn't even heard of this film until a few days ago (odd considering it stars Charlize Theron), and I didn't know until five minutes ago that Woody co-starred. The man is clearly lacking in respect about town - he's not only wildly talented, but about as versatile as they come, capable of everything from character-actor type roles (No Country) to comedy (Kingpin) to drama (The People vs. Larry Flynt) to whacked-out and drugged-up (Natural Born Killers). You can keep your Robert Downey, Jr.; I choose Woody.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 33%

And then...

Commit a Random, Senseless Act of Violence!

Actually, that might be frowned upon, but it is the subject of the new poll. We all know celebrities and politicians can be annoying, so here's your chance to exact some revenge (in your mind, at least). Whatever you do, don't take this too seriously, because a) it's supposed to be fun and b) I don't want any of you going to jail (though the headlines might be fun).

For the record (and since it's deleted now), the results of the Jean Claude Van Damme movie poll were as follows:

* Bloodsport (7 votes)

* Cyborg (5)

* Timecop (3)

* Double Impact (2)

* Lionheart (2)

* Death Warrant (1)

* Hard Target (1)

Total Votes - 21

I'm shocked that Kickboxer received no votes. Not that I like it all that much, but I know many that do.

Let's get some more votes this time around, people...

And then...

Dystopian Dichotomy

The other day, I came across a list of the "Top 50 Dsytopian Movies of All Time." It's a well done list overall, though there are many quibbles by the nearly 300 commenters over the loose use of the term "dystopia" to describe some of the films mentioned (Pleasantville probably got the most "WTFs?") and the choices of some of the other films.

Now, a dystopia is essentially defined as the opposite of utopia, but can also be described as a utopia with a fatal flaw. Regardless of whether or not all the films fully qualify, it's still a quality list. Though it's missing one (that just happens to be on TV at the time of this writing. Inspiration!). Only one of the 280 commenters (at the time of this writing) bothered to mention it, and even then he was half-joking. I say nay! Freejack belongs.

In case you're not wildly familiar with it, Freejack is a 1992 film starring Emilio Estevez, Anthony Hopkins, Renee Russo, and Mick Jagger. The dichotomy in the title of this post refers to the fact that this is probably Tony Hopkins worst film, but Emilio's best (I say that half-joking and with love, as well). Though it's nowhere near the realm of "good bad" movies like Bloodsport or Roadhouse, it's also a pretty lo-fi, low budget version of what could have been a great sci-fi flick. Believe it or not, Mick Jagger even does a splendid job as the bounty hunter on Emilio's tail.

The story, if you're not aware, goes something like this (from Wikipedia, and contains spoilers):

"In the 21st century, time travel technology allows people to be snatched from the past just prior to the time of their certain demise. The live bodies, called "freejacks," are then sold to the highest bidder as a host for his/her consciousness, as they are considered already dead and thus have no human rights.

Alex Furlong, played by Emilio Estevez, is a formula car racer who is apparently killed during a race in 1991. However, his body is brought 18 years into the future to 2009, where he manages to escape prior to a mind transfer into his body. Victor Vacendak, played by Mick Jagger, is a hardened security officer contracting for the McCandless Corporation who tries to recapture Furlong. Alex's former fiancée Julie, played by Rene Russo, is now an executive at McCandless.

The remainder of the film concerns Alex's survival in the world of the future, eluding capture by the persistent Victor, and his attempt to revive his relationship with Julie. Ian McCandless, Julie's boss, played by Anthony Hopkins, is revealed to be the dying man trying to steal Furlong's body as he himself died on a business trip out of town."

First off, I love that it only goes in time 18 years, to a scant two years from where we currently reside. This is an awful thing that many futuristic films do - the same thing was done in Demolition Man, amongst others. Do the writers really expect technology to jump forward that much in that short a time? Unfortunately, it's a necessary evil here, as Russo is still playing Estevez's love interest - her character would just happen to be old enough to be his mother in "the future," but it might be a bit odd if they jumped 40 years and there was suddenly a 25 year old guy having the hots for what could be his grandmother. But I digress...

Bad as some of the acting (the always-somewhat-awful-but-still-enjoyable Jonathan Banks, for starters) and effects are, I can't help but enjoy and recommend this movie. Any time you have Russo still slumming, Hopkins not yet a prestige name and appearances by Buster Poindexter and Amanda Plummer, combined with a very Phillip K. Dick-like story, you're bound to have a winner.

And then...

Watching movies is hard to do while driving

Not that I tried. It's just that with traversing 1500 miles across the country over two days, I didn't have much time to take in any feature films. That didn't stop me from catching a couple portions of flicks on cable or from waxing nostalgic on the Muscles from Brussels.

Whilst enjoying the lovely confines of an Amarillo (TX) Motel 6 on Saturday night (you wish your Saturday was that thrilling), I caught about half of The Last Boy Scout. Made during the limbo period of Bruce Willis' career (after Die Hard 2 and prior to Pulp Fiction), Boy Scout gets either neglected or just plain dismissed as another bad 80s style action flick, a precursor and perhaps target of the action parody Last Action Hero (it was released in 1991). Sure, it's filled with over-the-top villains and dumb one-liners, but there's a certain charm to Willis, and Wayans proves he capable of acting while bringing some of his comedy chops along the way. What can I say - I'm a sucker for it. And though I fell asleep before he appeared onscreen, I'm also a fan of Taylor Negron. Great that guy/character actor there.

Also seen in bits and pieces over the last few days is the college comedy Accepted, starring Justin Long. While not being all that funny, it has the feel of something that will pick up an audience on cable, bolstered by the appearance of the now-more-famous Jonah Hill (looking about 50 lbs. heavier as well), Lewis Black, the capable Long (in non-annoying mode, just as I like him) and George Bush lookalike Anthony Heald, who should get some credit as being the Paul Gleason (The Breakfast Club) of the 90s and 00s. Accepted isn't great, but it's fun in a PCU kind of way.

Finally, my favorite Jean-Claude Van Damme flicks, just for the hell of it. Let's all shed a tear for the fact that we don't currently have a horribly-accented Euro action star these days.

5. Hard Target - it's hard to go wrong with Lance Henriksen as your bad guy.
4. Kickboxer - wonderfully bad. And what's not to love about Tong Po?
3. Lionheart - "He's gon' kill you, Lionheart!" Also features the bizzaro/musclebound version of Troy Aikman.
2. Double Impact - Ok, they're twins...from Hong Kong. One goes to America as an infant, yet both end up with a Belgian accent. Where do they come up with this stuff. Also features...
1. Bloodsport - Bolo Yeung as one of the bad guys. Chong Li is one of the greatest movie villains of all time. Throw in a slumming Forrest Whitaker, a fresh JC and the guy who says "Oh, right, like put up your dukes." and you have one of the greatest bad action movies of all time.

(For the record, JC was dead to me after 1995's Sudden Death. As good/bad as that was (Powers Boothe!), that was the end of the line. I could not follow Van Damme on his Quest, nor could I watch him with Rob Schneider and Dennis Rodman. How sad.)

And then...

Sports Movie UMVPs

Just for posterity's sake, and so that I can get double the mileage points for this column - here's the post I wrote last week for The Hater Nation.

------------------------------------------

When Adam asked me to write something for THN, I was honored at first, then excited, then a bit terrified. After all, even though I'm a sports fan, I'm nowhere near the fanatic (or writer) that many sports bloggers are. Also, I write a blog that is 94% about movies, 3% about other pop culture happenings, and 3% sports (maybe). So there was certainly a challenge to writing something in my strengths to a sports-demanding audience.

Then again, there are a whole lot of movie fans out there, and there are a whole lot of sports films to admire and/or mock (and sometimes both at the same time).

I thought I'd start by handing out some kudos to some of the unheralded sports movie characters (or actors). Sure, everyone talks about how Kevin Costner was great in Bull Durham and that Tim Robbins throws like a girl, or that Chevy Chase and Rodney Dangerfield owned Caddyshack, but what about Brian Doyle-Murray? Let's pat some backs...

Jay Tarses, "Coach Bobby Flinstock," Teen Wolf
Amongst the unheralded MVPs, this guy is the MVP. One quote says it all:
"There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese."

Brian Doyle-Murray, "Lou Loomis," Caddyshack
Chevy, Rodney, and younger brother Bill get all the attention here, but Brian (who co-wrote Caddyshack with Harold Ramis) deserves a lot of the credit for the success of the movie. Aside from writing it, he was the official during the finale and also told a kid to "pick up that blood." Classic.



Omar Epps, "Willie Mays Hayes," Major League II
No, he didn't originate the role, but as the only major character in the sequel to Major League to be played by someone else, Epps had some large shoes to fill playing the character that Wesley Snipes built. And he does what amounts to a great impersonation. Unfortunately, that kind of laid out a pattern for his career - picking up the slop that Wesley didn't want. Though I guess with a steady gig on House, Omar's probably not too concerned with that these days (where'd Wesley go, anyway?).


Jimmy Fallon, "Ben Wrightman," Fever Pitch
Coming off the wildly successful Taxi, Fallon stepped into the batter's box and nailed one out of the park with this Farrelly brother-directed ode to the Red Sox. Showing such great chemistry with co-star Drew Barrymore, Jimmy --
(Gotcha.)



Scott Caan, "Charlie Tweeder," Varsity Blues
I'm not interested in Billy Bob Thornton and Friday Night Lights - I want to see James Van Der Beek tell his dad, "I don't want...your life!" Meanwhile, Scott Caan steals all of his scenes with his sheer obnoxiousness and bizarre brand of machismo, highlighted by this throwaway sequence between Van Der Beek's "Mox" and "Tweeder":
Mox: Tweeder, you think you'll enjoy prison?
Charlie Tweeder: [not paying attention] I don't know.
[looks up]
Charlie Tweeder: What?

Kelly Preston, "Avery Bishop," Jerry Maguire
"Don't...ever...stop...f*cking...me!!!"

'Nuff said.









Allen Covert, "Otto," Happy Gilmore
Long before he became officially known as "one of Adam Sandler's buddies that appears in all his movies," Covert's homeless man plucked from the street to be Happy's caddy practically stole all of his Gilmore scenes, despite barely uttering a word the whole time. Gold.




Bolo Yeung, "Chong Li," Bloodsport
You'd think that playing the lead villain in one of the most enjoyable guilty pleasure films of all time would have made Yeung a star in America - after all, the guy was in Enter the Dragon some 15 years (!) earlier. But no, while Jackie Chan crossed over to fame, fortune, and a horrible franchise with Chris Tucker, Bolo was relegated to being Van Damme's nemesis in Double Impact. Ouch.

And then...