I am required by law to comment on The Sopranos finale

Unless you've been sleeping under a rock and/or just came back to the future (Hi Marty!), you know that The Sopranos ended on Sunday. As much as I would have liked to let this come and go, as a member of The Pop Culture Media Conglomerate (a fictional entity created by me, as far as you know), I am required to post my thoughts on the subject matter.

Again, in case you aren't aware, every critic alive, from newspaper to TV to the blogosphere to message-boardland has been trying to decipher what exactly happened to Tony Soprano when the screen abruptly cut to black. Did he get whacked? Did he simply have some pizza with his family? Did he get arrested? Did he go to Disneyland?

I can tell you with some certainly that it is none of those things. Here's my take: