TGITDNMAR (2/29/08)

It's that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released.

Damn you, leap year. Damn you straight to 2012! Just what movie fans needed - another week of February releases. Actually, this weekend's slate isn't all that bad - just think, last year at this time we had Ghost Rider and Wild Hogs. Suddenly, I feel much better.

The Other Boleyn Girl
Ladies, crucify me if you must, but I've got to say this right up front: it's a crime against humanity that a romantic thriller starring Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson is rated PG-13 and features no nudity. If Kathy Bates and a 60-year old Diane Keaton can do it, why can't a pair of nubile young actresses follow suit? I'm sure Eric Bana wouldn't have a problem joining in on the clothes-shedding for the ladies out there. Am I asking too much?

Anyway, the movie. Taking the above comments out of the equation, I can't say that this looks all that thrilling, especially considering that Showtime has a TV series that's been running for the past year about Henry VIII. How much is there to this tale?
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 20%

Semi-Pro
Speaking of last year around this time...a little sports movie featuring a boisterous, obnoxious, loud Will Ferrell was released - sound familiar? I actually don't have a problem with Ferrell doing these movies over and over (yet); no one expected Blades of Glory to be any good, but it was decent. Semi-Pro comes with a little higher expectations, especially with Woody Harrelson around to give us shades of Kingpin as a washed-up NBA baller slumming it in the ABA. Throw in a super-solid supporting cast, including Will Arnett, Maura Tierney, Andy Richter, Andre Benjamin and more, and you've got the makings of a potential winner. Oh, and ladies - this one is rated R, so you just might get lucky and see some Ferrell ass. Don't say you weren't hoping for that.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 73%

Bonneville
If I were a 50-year old woman, I'd be all over this. Great actresses all around (Allen, Bates, Lange, Christine Baranski), and even Viper himself drops by (Tom Skerritt, for those of you that don't recall Top Gun). But clearly, this flick is not aimed at my demographic. Bonus trivia for no reason: the premiere for this movie was held here in Scottsdale last week, which has to be the first time a national movie(meaning, not made by and/or starring locals) did that.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 3%

Penelope
Surprisingly, this has garnered decent reviews thus far. Mrs. Fletch is up for it, but I can't say I'm all that interested in seeing a pig-nosed Christina Ricci play kissy-foot with James McAvoy for two hours. Then again, we have a Peter Dinklage sighting, and that's always a good sign. Consider me torn.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 50%

And then...

Survivor: Micronesia (Fans vs. Favorites) Episode 4 recap

The fourth episode of Survivor: Micronesia showed us, if nothing else, who the true players are. Whether it be challenges, idols or councils, the strong shined and the weak withered.

Upon their return from last week's council, it was no surprise that Penner was pissed and Cirie was snippy. Penner, having lost his bid for greater numbers at Tribal Council, delivered a bitch session for all to see, including Cirie, who is now beyond arrogant. She "doesn't have to hear him," she says; "yes you do" says he - it's really childish on both their parts, but it is kind of interesting.

But it doesn't hold a candle to the show James puts on. We learn that Eliza is now ailing, "sick" or something like that. This does not sit well with the gravedigger, who now regrets having voted off the stronger (and smarter) Yau-Man, wishing instead he had voted off ol' Crazy Eyes. The topper? He has no problem saying all this right in front of her. The exchange goes something like this:

James (to Parvati, Ozzy and Amanda): I wish we hadn't voted off Yau.
Eliza: You know, I'm sitting right here.
James: Yeah, but you gonna die.
Eliza: I'm not going to die...
James: I don't want you to die, but you're gonna die.

(fast forward a few seconds)

Eliza (pissed off): [something about not wanting to go home]
James: Now you're sick and you got attitude?

By this time, I was practically rolling on the floor; then again, I don't care for Eliza. If I did, I would probably think James a giant jerk right about now.

After the drama, the Reward Challenge was a welcome sight. Even more welcome was the sight of Poseidon, er, Ozzy, being given the chance to shine. The challenge, which consisted of half the team swimming down to retrieve coconuts from a cage in the ocean, didn't appear to be one that required much strategy. But the Ozzman, Aquaman that he is (and pretty damn smart to boot) saw an opportunity. Where the members of the Fans tribe simply went and pushed one coconut out at a time, Ozzy stayed underwater for what seemed like days, pushing as many nuts as he could to the front of the cage, making the underwater time for his tribe mates close to nil. Though it might have appeared as though the Fans had an edge early on (as they were bringing more nuts to the surface), it was all a facade. The Favorites had all ten of theirs out of the water (and the subsequent puzzle solved) before the Fans had nine out. It was an awe-inspiring event, even, as we saw later, from members of the other tribe. Not a good sign for them.

Even worse for them was that (after the Faves sent dopey, mopey Kathy back to Exile Island), Ozzy tagged along as well. After a bit of get-to-know-yas, with the golf cart lady fawning over him and the other favorites, Ozzy took it upon himself to go about finding the Hidden Immunity Idol (Kathy, of course, was too busy being tired and lazy to care). In seemingly no time flat, all while under the guise of "looking for clams," Ozzy found the idol. He went a step better even, pulling a Yau move by chopping some lumber, whittling it into a false idol, and placing it where he found the genuine article. Though somewhat brilliant, his final creation probably won't fool anyone; still, the fact that he did all this (and found/chopped wood for Kathy, who was attempting to build a fire) in what looked like an hour is mind-blowing. Naturally, Kooky Kathy was oblivious to all the goings on.

The Immunity Challenge was, unfortunately, one that we'd seen before - and not a good one. It involved members connected to one another by long poles that were all joined together (think big spokes on a big wheel, with a member on each end of the spoke). After releasing some locks, they had to maneuver their way through an obstacle course and find six necklaces that, ultimately, would be used to solve a puzzle. Meh. Even more yawn inducing was the fact that the Favorites steamrolled through, while the noobies struggled to even get their locks undone. It was over before it began.

With the Fans back at their camps, again the strong began to flex their muscles. Firefighter Joel, the most insecure man on the planet (way ironic given his stature), still had his panties in a bunch, concerned that Mikey B. was leading the tribe (heaven forbid!). Though at first everyone had dilapidated Chet in their sights (aside from being weak in general, nice guy Chet's back was giving him fits), Tracy ran some psychological circles around Joel, basically calling him out for being the big baby that he is and turning him onto the idea of voting for Mikey (who he had previously wanted to keep around - for "strength" - through the merge. It was marvelous, really.

And just like that, Mikey was no more. Personally, I never had a problem with Mikey, but he (and Jason, his acolyte) got played, and now Chet, Tracy, Kooky Kathy and the rest of the misfits will stick around until...at least next week, when a tribal mix-up is on the horizon (along with more bullying by Joel - joy). Stay tuned - this is getting good.

Survivor: Micronesia homepage at CBS.com

And then...

Casting the 2008 Presidential Election Movie

It may never come, but I want to be prepared when it does - the movie based on the 2008 presidential election. Via extensive research (mostly studying pictures and using my vast, encyclopedic knowledge of every actor working today), I present you with the stars of the film, focusing on the current and former candidates; first, let's look at the Republicans:

Ron Paul may be having a hard time on the campaign trail, but this was a relatively quick and easy one to come up with. Besides there being a strong physical resemblance, it doesn't hurt that Josef Sommer has played a president in the recent past (X-Men: The Last Stand).

Following that same trend, Jurgen Prochnow has some experience playing a political candidate, having portrayed California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger is the 2005 made-for-TV movie See Arnold Run. I happen to think he's also a strong candidate to play Mitt Romney.

Ok, so this one doesn't count. Who else to play actor turned congressman Fred Thompson than actor turned congressman turned actor Fred Thompson?

Rudy Giuliani's a tough nut to crack, casting wise. He almost has Jay Leno's chin, but Leno's not really an actor, and outside of that, he really looks nothing like him. Well, Alan Alda kind of does - a little work with the hair and he's really close. As a bonus, Alda has played political figures in the past as well (a senator in The Aviator, the president in Canadian Bacon).

I found Mike Huckabee to be one of the hardest casting decisions. Off the top of my head, he doesn't really resemble any actors of note, but damned if he doesn't look like he should. He's just so...normal looking. At first, I was going to go with Philip Baker Hall (Boogie Nights, "Bookman" from Seinfeld) since he's such a great character actor, but he's a bit too old and, outside of the forehead wrinkles, doesn't much look like Huck. So it's given to another quality character actor (and yet another that has played a president in the past) - Clueless and Dick co-star Dan Hedaya.

Finally, the future Republican nominee - John McCain. You'd think 72-year old actors with young-looking faces (albeit with growths on them) and white hair would be growing off trees, but that's simply not the case. As such, I got a bit creative, using the look and shape of his face as the launching pad, and ignoring much else. Who I came up with may be unorthodox, but with a wig and some aging makeup, I think Larry Miller could certainly be the man for the job.

And over on the Democrat's side of the aisle...

There's plenty of potential actors for the casting of John Edwards. He looks pretty young and is good looking (for a politician). Who better than a resurgent Dennis Quaid to fill his shoes?

Hillary Clinton seemed like a hard casting decision, but lucky for me, I was just flipping channels last night and came across Blue Chips, the college basketball drama starring Nick Nolte and Mary McDonnell. Perhaps that's what subconsciously sparked the idea for this post, as I think with some blond hair and a frumpier look, she'd be a dead ringer for Hillary.

Now, the thorn in my side - Barack Obama. We know there aren't a ton of famous black actors out there; well, guess what? There are even fewer mixed-race (black and white) ones, or at least ones that appear to be. An older Tiger Woods might have done the job, but...not really. Who then? I came up with a few potentials (The Young and the Restless's Kristoff St. John, CSI's Gary Dourdan), only to be disappointed at how little they resembled Obama. Finally, one name and face popped into my head that works pretty well. He hasn't been heard from much as of late, but Mario Van Peebles is my strongest contender to play the strongest contender for the White House. If you can think of a better candidate, I'm all ears.

I'm Fletch, and I approve this message.

And then...

Fletch's Film Review: Be Kind Rewind

I have blinders on, but I'm okay with that.

See, despite its faults, I can't help but love Be Kind Rewind, the fifth film from Michel Gondry. Though it lacks the impact of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind or the dreaminess and worldliness of The Science of Sleep, Rewind more than makes up for it with innovation, creativity and heart bursting from its dilapidated sleeves. I know, I sound kind of like a Hallmark card. I admit it - there's something about the 45-year old Frenchmen that is infallible to me.

The movie starts off slow - Mike (Mos Def) and Jerry (Jack Black) are New Jersey ne'er do wells living in a dying city just outside of Manhattan. Mr. Fletcher (Danny Glover) runs the local video store, and by video, I mean VHS. It's a run-down store on a run-down block in a run-down city, located right across the street from the local junkyard that Jerry inhabits. When Mr. Fletcher leaves town, he entrusts Mike to run the store for him while he's away. Meanwhile, Jerry, who is a walking disaster and is a paranoid conspiracy theorist, is hatching a plan to take down the power company and the evil, controlling mind waves that the power (radiation?) seems to be giving off. Wackiness ensues.

At first, I didn't find it terribly funny (though some girl in the audience sure did), and the characters seemed...a bit dumb. For every inspired moment, there seemed to be a cheesy or implausible one sure to follow. But as the plot kept moving forward to the good stuff that the trailer promised (the faux flicks that Jack Black and Mos Def's characters start creating), the childlike magic of Gondry got me. The innovation and creativity used to bring the "films" to life is not only awe-inspiring and inspirational (at least to this wannabe filmmaker), but funny as hell to boot. By the time the end rolled around, I couldn't care less how sappy or predictable it was; I was too busy smiling, fully soaked by the strong messages of friendship, neighborhood pride and love of film making that the movie doles out.

So see it, but check your seriousness at the theater door. You'll enjoy it a lot more.

Fletch's Film Rating:

"It's in the hole!"

And then...

Familiar Face - Unknown Name #3 - Kevin Corrigan

Call them what you want - character actors, "That Guy(s)," scene stealers - I don't care. This is a regular feature where I spotlight one performer, whether they be longtime veterans (like J.K. Simmons or Barry Corbin) or a fresher face just making their way up the stardom ranks. For previous FF-UNs, click here.

Today's Familiar Face-Unknown Name:

Kevin Corrigan

Where You've Seen Him (high profile): I can't speak for you, but my introduction to Mr. Corrigan was in True Romance, where he played one of the mafioso gunmen that busted into Lee Donowitz's penthouse suite in the film's climax (he's the one that did the DeNiro impersonation: "You talkin'a me? You talkin'a me?"). By then, he was on his way to becoming an indie staple, with featured parts in Living in Oblivion, Slums of Beverly Hills, and Trees Lounge, mixing in some big-budget flicks along the way, such as The Departed and Bad Boys.

Where You've Seen Him (not-so-high profile): he wrote 1997's Kicked in the Head, and has had a number of bit parts in TV shows, dramas, comedies - you name it. He's had small parts in several beloved indies over the years, from Walking and Talking to Henry Fool to Buffalo '66. For several years, he played Donal Logue's brother on the Fox sitcom Grounded for Life, was the hotheaded "Mark" in last year's Superbad, and plays a convenience store clerk in this month's Definitely, Maybe.

Character Specialties: Corrigan is pretty versatile, using his Irish-Puerto Rican looks and Bronx upbringing to portray a number of nationalities on film. He often plays a somewhat spacey, possibly drugged out weirdo/slacker, but has the dramatic chops to play a heavy and the comedic ones to play parts such as "Eliot," Natasha Lyonne's boyfriend (of sorts) in Tamara Jenkins Slums of Beverly Hills. He's often cast as the brother or uncle or cousin, but I guess his father roles are soon to come, as he turns 39 this year.

Little Known Facts: He is a frequent Michael Rappaport conspirator, as they've co-starred in eight projects, according to IMDb (Chain of Fools, Illtown, Kicked in the Head, Kiss of Death, The Pallbearer, Subway Stories: Tales from the Underground, True Romance and Zebrahead.)

Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kevin_Corrigan
On IMDb: http://imdb.com/name/nm0180984/

And then...

ReVideoView - The Nines

There's a really good chance you haven't heard of The Nines, much less seen it. In a few weeks of release in fall of 2007, it grossed less than $100,000. And though it is yet another "puzzle piece movie" (along the lines of Donnie Darko/Southland Tales and even writer/director John August's Go), the bigger mystery is why it went so unseen?

Starring Ryan Reynolds, Hope Davis and Go vet Melissa McCarthy, The Nines opened on just two screens in late August last year, but averaged $14k+ on each - a more than respectable debut for any art-house flick, much less one with as slight a budget as this. Considering that it features two high profile actors in Reynolds and Davis (each high profile in their own way, granted), one must wonder why it expanded to just three additional screens the following weekend?

But that's enough questions - time for some answers.

The film is split into three parts, with the three actors each playing a different-yet-related role in each part, for a total of...wait for it...nine characters. In the first, Reynolds is Gary, a David Caruso-like actor starring in a TV crime series. When we first meet him, he's just gone through a crisis of sorts, and we're catching him as he's about to break down, complemented by an awesome, "House of the Rising Sun"-like cover of Kim Wilde's "You Keep Me Hanging On," performed by The Ferris Wheel. In time, he will undergo house arrest, where he meets a mysterious neighbor (Davis) and is tended to by a publicist (McCarthy). Gary soon discovers that it may not be just his world that's falling apart, but something...more. To expand would be to ruin the fun.

In part two, Reynolds is now Gavin, an up and coming screenwriter who has just cast his friend (McCarthy, now playing herself, more or less) in his TV pilot, while he has been cast himself as the lead in a reality show about the making of his show (still with me?). Davis plays the VP of Development overseeing Gavin's pilot. For this segment, we learn from the DVD extras that Gavin is the fictional embodiment of August, who is friends with McCarthy in real life (a great short film that the two made some years back is also included on the DVD), and the drama they face in The Nines is parallel to what they went through when August was a TV writer himself.

For the third and final segment, we have Gabriel, loving father to Noelle and husband to Mary. After a day spent hiking, the three return to their car only to find that the battery is dead. With no cell phone service available in their remote location, Gabriel takes it upon himself to travel to higher ground to seek a better signal. Along the way, he encounters Sierra (Davis), who may or may not be able to assist him in his quest to find his way home.

The three narratives are each separate entities, but overlap and share pieces of their plots and characters. What starts as confusing to Gary and the viewer soon becomes clear, with hints to the mystery sprinkled throughout.

August has crafted a fine film, one filled with deep thoughts and sprawling ramifications, yet it manages to never take itself too seriously, getting a diverse performance from Reynolds, who can transition from comic to tragic and back with ease. Even more impressive is that it looks and feels like a much bigger film than it is, with each segment given a specific look (rich golds and reds in 16MM for the first, the second shot in digital video, and the third a blue/green 35MM). Also of note is that the house arrest scenes were shot in August's real-life house, one of the many details that makes this philosophy-tinged genre-less movie accessible and fun.

Fletch's Film Rating:

"Darn tootin!"

And then...

Fletch's Film Review: Vantage Point

Rashomon. There - it's been said, and I can move on.

Anyway, Vantage Point takes a not-so-novel concept - telling a story from several points of view - and really doesn't do much with it. The plot centers on an anti-terrorism summit taking place in Spain, where the U.S. President ("Ashton") is set to speak. On the scene are hundreds of Spaniards, scads of media, the Secret Service, tourists, and of course...terrorists. It's no spoiler to tell you that the President (William Hurt) gets shot, and almost even less of a spoiler to tell you that it's really not the President (POTUS) that gets shot, but his body double.

Letting that detail out in the trailer for the film was just the first of many mistakes made by the studio/producers, seeing as how it's one of two big twists in store for the viewer, and really, the bigger of the two. I guess that just goes to show the lack of confidence that was given the picture after the final product was delivered.

The film starts out pretty good, putting the viewer first in the news van of the fictional GNN (Global News Network), where the lead producer (played by a severely underused Sigourney Weaver) and her team watch the action unfold, first starting with POTUS's arrival, through a speech by the town's mayor and past the "assassination." Quickly, the film rewinds to three seconds before noon and starts again, this time form another perspective...and so on...and so on. Eventually, five or six iterations (I lost count) of the tale are unfolded, each giving not only a different perspective, but giving a few more details along the way and seeming to go on longer than the previous segment.

This presents another problem. Had this been presented in the style of the Johnny Depp flick Nick of Time (which played out in real time), perhaps the filmmakers would have realized that their editing was all wrong. Since the concept calls for each segment to play out over the same amount of time (let's say 15 minutes), then each segment should accordingly be roughly the same amount of time than its predecessor (a few seconds here or there could certainly be forgiven). This is not the case at all. The first segment with the news team last for maybe 10 minutes, while the last, which is a bit scattered in terms of which characters are being followed, is neverending, featuring a terminally long car chase that lasts much longer than it should, even by the film's timing. Besides, shouldn't the car chase be one of the more exciting parts of the movie?

To top it all off, there are several inconsistencies and/or continuity errors that also cannot be forgiven, considering that the entire concept of the film is based on the same set of events and timing. An explosion that happens immediately after X in segment two should happen at pretty much the same time (or, um, exactly) in segment three. If there was a Razzie for Worst Editing, Vantage Point would be a lock to win it. Throw in some unnecessary sentimentality and too-late-for-the-game character development and that more than kills the goodwill made up by a strong international cast (Dennis Quaid, Matthew Fox, Forest Whitaker, Bruce McGill and a favorite of mine, Said Taghmaoui, are also on board).

Fletch's Film Rating:

"Whatever."


(PS - Just a warning: while not on the level of the Bourne flicks or Cloverfield, Vantage Point is filled with shaky cam, so if you do decide to see it and are susceptible to nausea, take a Dramamine.)

And then...

Bloggarhea (or Smorgasblog - you choose)

So much to write about and so little time. On a personal note, the vacation had to be cut short. Mrs. Fletch got sick pretty much upon arriving in Vegas, and instead of going to Washington on Wednesday, we headed home. So blah. the only silver lining has been that I've had oodles of time to give here and at the LAMB. Lots to cover today, so let's get to it:

Survivor - Episode 3 recap. Not happening. At least, not a full one. In short, here are my thoughts:

* Joel can talk all he wants about how Mikey is trying to run the show, but he's blind and/or a hypocrite for not seeing that he's doing the exact same thing. Just because he talks less, that doesn't make him any less annoying.

* Two good, physical challenge ideas that didn't pan out so great in execution. For the Reward Challenge, the teams had to get 5 sandbags in their "endzone" before the other team did the same. It was violent and nasty, but the James/Joel showdown was not there and/or not shown, and in general, the camera work was too all-over-the-place to really tell what was going on. For Immunity, in which half the team held a rope holding up a basket while members of the other team made it heavier by tossing coconuts into it, the editing was just a bit too fast. If the challenges take so long in real time that they must be choppy for the viewer, maybe the challenges shouldn't be so long?

* Damn you, Cirie. I don't care if you were put in a position of power - getting rid of Yau-Man only serves to make millions of fans hate you. It's not like you have a chance at the million anyway (right?). Also, your fight with Penner was annoying.

TGITDNMAR - see here.

Fletch's Film Review: The Spiderwick Chronicles
Freddie Highmore (whose voice is somehow getting higher as he ages) stars as a pair of twins in this kids adventure based on the book of the same name. David Strathairn (apparently loyal to co-writer John Sayles, whom he's co-starred in many films for) co-stars as the twins' great-uncle Arthur Spiderwick, a man who came to learn about the mythical world of ogres, goblins and other such fairy-tale creatures that inhabit the world around us. Arthur made an encyclopedia of sorts during his time that mysteriously vanished when he did, as a man in his 40s. His daughter was left behind (no word on the mother, really) to decipher just what had happened to her father, and what was going on in and around her house.

Fast forward decades later, where his daughter, now a senior citizen herself, has been placed in a mental institution. Some of her remaining family (Highmore's Jared/Simon Grace, their sister Mallory and their mother) take it upon themselves to move into her now empty house, what with the family in a crisis of their own, as Dad (Andrew McCarthy) may or may not be joining them out in the country.

As we soon learn, our chief protagonist (Jared) is pretty close with his father, and as such, is none too thrilled that the family is moving to the sticks. Simon and Mallory, meanwhile, are fine with the move and only bothered by Jared's attitude as of late.

In no time flat, Jared, troubled yet curious, stumbles upon his great-uncle's attic and subsequently, the titular book. Despite an attached warning to not open it, Jared does, and with it opens up a Pandora's Box of potential trouble for not only his family, but for the world at large.

Although the film never reaches the magical heights of something like Harry Potter, it holds its own fairly well. It has some high-level talent in Highmore, Strathairn and Mary-Louise Parker (playing the Mom), but there are some additional casting surprises, including Nick Nolte as the humanoid version of the evil Mulgarath (and apparently more sober than he was when last seen in Paris Je t'aime), and Martin Short and Seth Rogen are on board as vocal talent. Put together, you have a near A-list cast.

Also surprising, though some may see this as a negative, is how dark and violent this is for a children's adventure. You get the sense that the family is in true peril at times, and the kids must literally kill dozens of goblins who seek to capture the book for Mulgarath.

As nice as the storytelling, effects and talent are, though, the characters are lacking in any real definition beyond cutouts. The twins might as well be combined into one person, for as they are, they're really only half a person each, with Jared (the "bad" one) having just a few modes, and Simon being given the others (fey, book smart, sweet). Meanwhile, sister Mallory is just a surrogate mother to the boys while their real mother is away at work.

Overall, this makes for a strikingly similar piece alongside last year's Highmore-starring Arthur and the Invisibles. The plots, while not mirror images, could certainly be fraternal twins, though Arthur turns into a full-on animated movie for at least half the time, while Spiderwick is all live-action, with scads of CGI. Both are good for what they are and shouldn't lull adults to sleep - were I 10 years old, I might fall in love with either.

Fletch's Film Rating:

"You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you."


Fletch's Film Review: Definitely, Maybe
Definitely, Maybe, the debt album from Oasis, featuring such hit singles as "Live Forever," -- wait a sec, that's not right.

Definitely, Maybe is the fourth feature from director Adam Brooks, writer of such Brit-hits as Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason and Wimbledon (okay, so that one wasn't a hit). However, it's also brought to us by the producers of such other Brit-hits as Love, Actually, and Notting Hill, so overall, it's got a pretty good pedigree. It also has a terrible, generic, means-nothing name, but that's neither here nor there.

Now, Mrs. Fletch and I aren't real big fans on romantic comedies, but this one has had quite a few things going for it. First, it has a highly appealing cast, from star Ryan Reynolds, to all of its leading ladies (Rachel Weisz, Isla Fischer, Elizabeth Banks), to the always likable Kevin Kline and Sunshine-y Abigail Breslin. Second, it's gotten good-to-great reviews all around. Third, it's even been called "unpredictable" by some, which all by itself counts as high praise for a rom-com in my book.

On most counts, it delivers. The movie is sweet and charming, at times funny, but never much more than a chuckle. In fact, I think the spots I laughed at most were stock footage of George W. Bush (looking younger and dumber than ever, if that's possible) and of Bill Clinton, also not in his brightest moment, asking for the definition of "is." With most of the action taking place in the mid-90s, it gives much of its target audience a bit of nostalgia, and (thankfully) it doesn't insult us by making a joke of the past. There are references to Nirvana, The Smiths and Gennifer Flowers, but you won't see any Furbies or flannel shirts.

Finally, since I have no other organized thoughts, here are some disorganized ones:

* When I first saw the trailer, I thought to myself "No way am I buying Ryan Reynolds as the father of an 11-year old! He can't be more than 28!" And sure, while it's certainly biologically possible for 28 or 29-year olds to be fathers, I wasn't getting the impression that his character was a Pauly Bleaker type. Well, I was wrong. As it turns out, Ryan Reynolds is but a week younger than I am, though still has a baby face (like I do) at 31.

In that case, I'm flipping my argument. In the film, his character, Will Hayes, is a graduate of Wisconsin in 1992. Let's assume that made him 21 at the time. Therefore, we're supposed to believe that he is now in his mid-30s?!? I think I buy Ryan Reynolds as a 36-year old even less.

* At 112 minutes, the film runs a bit long in the tooth. Sure, I might sound like a broken record, but 2+ hours for a rom-com is 20 minutes too much, no matter how good.

* I was shocked to see some of the characters smoking, despite the film's attempt at demonizing them for doing so. In this day and age, it's just jarring to see characters that aren't villains or Europeans smoking.

* Though the opening sequence featuring Sly and the Family Stone's "Everyday People" was kind of fun, it really didn't add anything to the movie, or have anything to do with what happened afterwards.

* It's really not unpredictable, but kudos anyway to the writer (also Brooks) for a good concept (rom-com mystery of sorts).

Fletch's Film Rating:

"Darn tootin!"


Fletch's Film Review: Atonement
Nope. I'm tapped...perhaps another time.

And then...

The LAMB continues to Devour the Oscars

If you haven't been to the LAMB lately, you've been missing out on the "LAMB Devours the Oscars" blog-a-thon, where a new LAMB has written about a category for the upcoming Academy Awards each day for the past couple weeks. Today was (finally) my turn, and my category was Best Original Screenplay. The post, as it appeared on the LAMB, appears below, though I encourage you to check them all out!

Editor's note: Welcome to the eighteenth of a multi-part series dissecting the 2008 Academy Awards, brought to you by the Large Association of Movie Blogs and its assorted members. Every weekday leading up to the Oscars, a new post written by a different LAMB will be published, each covering a different category (or more) of the Oscars (there are 24 in all). To read any other posts regarding this event, please just click on the tag following the post. Thank you, and enjoy!








FADE IN:

EXT. BUSTLING CITY STREET - EVENING - ESTABLISHING

Steady traffic and countless pedestrians pass by a nondescript diner as a windy, wet day turns into a cold night.

INT. DINER

Though not packed full, this nondescript diner has its share of hungry dinner customers. SLAPPY JONES, 36 is joined by his girlfriend, FIONA DEVINE, 33, and his aging, senile father, THADDEUS JONES, 71. Running late, SLAPPY enters the diner and sits down alongside FIONA and across from THADDEUS.

SLAPPY

Sorry I'm late - work was a bitch.

FIONA

Don't worry about it. I ordered you a Coke in the meantime. Thaddeus and I just got here about 10 minutes ago. Though if you weren't here in five more minutes, I was ready to leave your Dad here alone.

SLAPPY

(picks up menu and reads it over)
Tell me about it. Dad, how are you doin'? Hungry?

THADDEUS

I want the Bananas Foster!

SLAPPY

I don't know about that, Dad. First of all, I don't think the dessert menu here goes beyond milkshakes and pie, and second, we haven't even had dinner yet.

THADDEUS

(slamming on table)
I want the Bananas Foster!

FIONA

By the way, did you see that the Academy Award nominations came out today? I can't believe Lars and the Real Girl got an Original Screenplay one.

SLAPPY

Yeah - what a joke. I mean, the acting was pretty good in that one, but it was like a Hallmark card brought to life. Even the characters in pre-color Pleasantville wouldn't be that forgiving.

A waitress arrives at their table.

WAITRESS

Have you all made up your minds?

FIONA

What's today's special?

WAITRESS

Ratatouille.

FIONA

Why not. I'm feeling a little je ne sais quoi today.

WAITRESS

Huh?

FIONA

Nevermind.

WAITRESS

And for you, sir?

Slappy's mobile phone starts to ring. He quickly rejects the call.

SLAPPY

(flustered)
Sorry - I'll have a hamburger, hold the tomato, and fries.

WAITRESS

(motioning towards Thaddeus)
And for you?

(silence)

SLAPPY

Dad, what do you want to eat?

THADDEUS

Six years, Michael! Six years I've absorbed this poison! Six years -- four hundred depositions -- a hundred motions -- five change of venues -- eighty-four thousand documents in discovery!

SLAPPY

Dad?

THADDEUS

(getting angrier by the second)
Look at me, Michael. Twelve percent of my life has been spent protecting the reputation of a deadly weedkiller!

FIONA

(to Slappy)
You know, I think we better -

SLAPPY

(to Waitress)
Yeah, I think we're going to have to take a rain check.

WAITRESS

Oh...ok.

SLAPPY

Yeah, my Dad's probably not gonna make it through dinner with another "incident." Sorry - let me pay you for the Cokes.

Slappy pays for the drinks and joins Fiona and Thaddeus as they head for the door.

FIONA

(to SLAPPY)
By the way, did I forget to mention that I'm pregnant?

CUT
END SCENE


Thanks to http://www.screenwriting.info for the assistance. Unfortunately, I don't have the HTML knowledge and/or the time to figure out how to get the dialogue tabbed over like it's supposed to be - please forgive me, screenplay formatting gods and screenplay writers. Also, thanks to the Michael Clayton screenplay (by Tony Gilroy) for a couple lines of dialogue. As you might have guessed, I'd never written a line of a screenplay before. And let me tell you, it's not as easy as it looks. For the record, I will be pulling for Juno (of course, it's a lock to win), though really, anything outside of Lars is a good choice.

And then...

There Will Be No Atonement for Michael "Juno" Clayton

Much to my own chagrin (if that's possible), but to the for-sure delight of my family, who is out to get me in our annual Oscar pool, I present to you my picks (Wills and Want tos) for this year's Academy Awards. I reserve the right to change my mind on some of these prior to Oscar night. Then again, maybe I'm just posting this to throw them off (and it's not like I'll be able to remember my picks for the short subjects, anyway...)?

Category	Will win	Want to Win
Best Picture	No Country for Old Men	There Will Be Blood
Best Director	Joel and Ethan Coen	Paul Thomas Anderson
Best Actor	Daniel Day-Lewis	Daniel Day-Lewis
Best Actress	Julie Christie	Laura Linney
Best Supporting Actor	Javier Bardem	Javier Bardem
Best Supporting Actress	Cate Blanchett	Cate Blanchett
Best Original Screenplay	Juno	Juno
Best Adapted Screenplay	No Country for Old Men	There Will Be Blood
Best Foreign Film	Katyn	??? (haven't seen one)
Best Documentary Feature	No End in Sight	??? (have seen only one)
Best Art Direction	There Will Be Blood	There Will Be Blood
Best Costume Design	Sweeney Todd	Across the Universe
Best Makeup	Pirates of the Carribean...	Pirates of the Carribean...
Best Sound Editing	There Will Be Blood	There Will Be lood
Best Sound Mixing	The Bourne Ultimatum	don't care
Best Visual Effects	Pirates of the Carribean...	The Golden Compass
Best Original Song	''That's How You Know,'' Enchanted	''Falling Slowly,'' Once
Best Original Score	Atonement	Atonement
Best Documentary Short	La Corona (The Crown) (?)	???
Best Live Action Short	Le Mozart des Pickpockets (?)	???
Best Animated Short	My Love (Moya Lyubov) (?)	???
Best Editing	The Bourne Ultimatum	The Bourne Ultimatum
Best Cinematography	No Country for Old Men	No Country for Old Men
Best Animated Feature	Ratatouille	Persepolis

And then...

Blog Cabins in Viva Rock...er, maybe that was a bad title the first time around

Did you know that The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas starred Mark Addy, the unfunny, portly British fellow from the Jami Gertz co-starring sitcom Still Standing, long before we knew he was that unfunny, portly British fellow? Nevermind that Rock co-starred Stephen Baldwin - isn't the drop from John Goodman to Mark Addy one of the worst sequel replacement jobs ever? (Hmmm...possible post idea there...)

Anyway, as I mentioned the other day, Blog Cabins is headed out of town this afternoon until Saturday, heading to Las Vegas and then to Washington on a much-needed vacation. Expect updates here and at the LAMB, just expect them to be shorter and more infrequent. As a bonus, here's a look at what you might have seen were this a normal week:

Monday: a review of The Spiderwick Chronicles.
If by chance you saw last year's Arthur and the Invisibles, then you're already halfway there towards seeing Spiderwick. This one is less animated, but the story is essentially the same. Bonus points for being pretty dark and featuring Seth Rogen in a voice role. Double bonus points for being co-written by John Sayles and co-starring David Strathairn. Full review...later.

Tuesday: review of Atonement.
Joe Wright has some talent, but this "love" story falls flat. Starts off with a bang (and a terrific typewriter-laden score), but quickly goes nowhere, then ends leaving you saying "what was the point of telling this story?" The twist at the ending is good yet feels like a cheat, though the stunt casting is pretty cool.

Wednesday: a clever and/or witty and/or boring list or analysis or some sort.
Don't worry, I have a stockpile of ideas for these types of things.

Thursday: a Survivor recap
This one may not ever see the light of day. But can you believe what happened? I never thought Yau-Man had it in him to whup James' ass, but that little guy's got the speed and determination of a badger.

Friday: TGITDNMAR.
In short:

Vantage Point: Looks kinda good, kinda meh, but has a great cast (and Bruce McGill). Considering what else is out, chalk this up as a 75% chance of seeing.

Be Kind, Rewind: Two words: Michel Gondry. Two more: I'm there. 100%

Charlie Bartlett: I get a bad vibe from this Anton Yelchin kid, and this looks too much like a Ferris Buehler knockoff. Still, you can't complain too much about Bob Downey, Jr. and Hope Davis. 42%.

Witless Protection: Oh damn, I have yet to even see a trailer for this Larry the Cable Guy-starring vehicle. I guess I should have seen Meet the Spartans - I can almost be guaranteed the trailer played there. And we have a (non-Playboy) Jenny McCarthy sighting. My congratulations to Jim Carrey's agents for finding her some work. 0%.


As I said, I return Saturday. Might there be an Oscars live diary in the future? There just might. Plug time: don't forget about the LAMB Oscar Pool. Go there (links are everywhere, I'm not giving you another) and fill out your entry form for the chance to win a DVD. Yeah, it's not a new car or anything, but it's better than nothing, right? Damn ingrates. Also, the "LAMB Devours the Oscars" blog-a-thon will be going on everyday (come rain or shine) until the awards.

Have a Presidential week, amigos.

And then...

TGITDNMAR (2/15/08)

It's that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released.

Just three more Fridays in February, movie fans (would have been two if it weren't for that evil leap year). Just three more weeks of dread before "spring" movie season begins in March, though it must be said that Jumper this week and Vantage Point next week could shape up as solid fare. Still, there's a ton of crap to wade through...

Now's a good time to mention that Blog Cabins may or may not be on hiatus next week, as Mrs. Fletch and I journey to Las Vegas and upstate Washington. Though the laptop will be joining us, and there will surely be LAMB posts, I can't say the same for here. You never know, though - I might just whip up a bunch of posts this weekend in preparation (like my long overdue Atonement review). We'll see...check back next week just in case.

Diary of the Dead
George A. Romero is back with yet another installment of his zombie series, this one an origin tale of sorts (though how is that possible considering that the concept appears to be possibly titled as Cloverfield of the Dead? Were there camcorders in the 60s (or whenever the series started)? Me thinks not. Me also thinks that I'll be passing, as I have yet to see an ...of the Dead film, and hardly think this is the time to start.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 1%

Jumper
Yes, Hayden Christiesen was awful in the Star Wars prequels - but wasn't everyone? Whenever his name comes up in discussions, I tell people to watch Shattered Glass, and I'll do the same here. An excellent Christensen combined with Peter Sarsgaard, Chloe Sevigny and Hank Azaria, plus great writing and direction from Billy Ray (Breach) = great movie.

As for this one, I'm definitely leery. I'm sick to death of Sam Jackson, but the concept looks like it might have legs, and Doug Liman's track record (Mr. and Mrs. Smith notwithstanding) is awesome (Go, Swingers, The Bourne Identity).
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 70%

Definitely, Maybe
This has a terrible, generic title, and I'm really not buying Ryan Reynolds as the father of an 11-year old, but the cast is pretty fantastic. Hell, I wasn't even aware that Kevin Kline was in it (how far has he fallen?) until just now, much less Rachel Weisz, the great character actor Kevin Corrigan, and 40 Year Old Virgin vixen Elizabeth Banks. I'm certainly not excited, but could probably be talked into this one.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 38%

The Spiderwick Chronicles
I'm not too interested in this one, but Mrs. Fletch is all over it, and Freddie Highmore is a talented young actor. That ticks up the percentage...
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 49%

Step Up 2: The Streets
This one doesn't even deserve a picture. That's right, Step Up 2, I'm withholding a poster from your entry - what are you gonna do about it? Dance for me, monkey - dance!
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: There's a better chance of me breakdancing my way down to the theater.

And then...

Survivor: Micronesia (Fans vs. Favorites) Episode 2 recap

The second episode of Survivor: Micronesia was like a run-of-the-mill suspense film that's plodding along, keeping your interest but not doing all that much else, until - BAM! - a sick twist of an ending that you never saw coming that makes the whole thing that much better.

We started off innocently enough, with the focus on the Favorites, having just voted off Johnny Fairplay, returning from Tribal Council in a not-exactly sad mood. Ozzy's catching fish with his bare hands, and later, he's making out with Amanda around the shelter while James is snuggling with Parvati. The canoodling doesn't go unnoticed though, as both Cirie and Penner are awake and aware of the goings on, and aghast at the stupidity of the four. Somewhat interesting, but nothing we haven't seen before.

Meanwhile, over at camp Fans, the group of elder Survivors was being ostracized yet again. Krazy Kathy, Tracy and Chet, all outcasts in one way or another and feeling unwelcome, decided that they'd set up their own shelter away from the other seven. Apparently, the high of victory from last week's win over the Favorites has not lasted long. Also, even with the aid of flint, the newbies can't seem to make a fire. Yawn.

Finally, the Immunity Challenge came about and sparked some excitement, first with the audience (there's water involved? Sweet - we get to see the Ozz man in action!), then with Ozzy himself, when it was revealed that in addition to immunity, the winning team would be rewarded with the all-important fishing gear (as if he needs the gear, or for that matter, any additional incentive to whup ass at a challenge). Perhaps making up for the lack of a dedicated Reward Challenge, we were treated to a three-part challenge involving five swimmers, one "keymaster" and three puzzlers. I'll give you one guess as to which of the three Ozzy partook.

Disappointing no one, Fish Boy flew over some "lilypads," swam like a trout, climbed up a ladder like a monkey (because we all know monkeys climb ladders), smashed a tile, retrieved a key from the water and returned to shore in the blink of an eye. The rest of the swimmers went and came, with the only other interesting tidbits being that Jon Penner was the only other contestant to cleanly make it over the lilypads (shocking) and that Chet was unable to find his key and had to literally drag his sorry butt back to shore (not so surprising, but still noteworthy). Due in no small part to Chet's lagging, the Favorites quickly dispatched of the Fans.

Afterwards, Jeff laid out a "shocking twist" for the contestants, as they learned that not only a member of the losing tribe would be forced to Exile Island (Krazy Kathy), but the winners would have to send one of their own as well. Cirie, sensing herself in a losing position on her tribe, quickly volunteered herself for the chance to find a hidden immunity idol. Yada yada yada, it doesn't look like either Cirie or Kathy found it.

And that's when it finally got good.

Returning back to their camp, the losing Fans scurried about trying to figure out who they would send packing. It was quickly decided that Chet, already an outcast and now a leading cause for the team's loss, would be set aside. Mikey B., the latest Boston male to grace the series, took it upon himself to outwit everyone else, determining all the possible outcomes had Kathy (who was already in possesion of the immunity idol from last wek) found the hidden idol and shared it with Chet or Tracy. Innocent as his plotting may have seemed (never a bad idea to consider possible outcomes, right?), hulking firefighter Joel got his XXL panties in a bunch, thinking Mikey was being too much of a leader. His plan? Well, he started by planning to oust Mikey but quickly changed his tune and aimed at Mikey's strongest ally, Mary. The outcasts were surely for it, but who knew about the rest?

The council started off innocently enough, with Jeff questioning Chet about his place in the game and the rest about the fractured nature of their camp. Finallly, voting time arrived. As the votes were read, it looked like Chet was on his way out, having the first two with his name on them. But then...one for Tracy...and one for Mary...and another for Tracy....and another for Mary. This is the kind of voting I like to see - wild and crazy, with anyone having a chance to hit the road. But then, the votes for Mary didn't stop, until she had five, enough to clinch her ouster and send her packing. The cost of watching Survivor? Free. The cost of watching Mikey's jaw drop to the floor? Priceless. Aghast, he sat there with the same dumb look Jaime had last season when she learned her "idol" was firewood. Meanwhile, Joel was all smiles, but here's the kicker: when the votes were shown during the credits, we learned that Joel VOTED FOR TRACY?!?! Huh?

We're certainly in for some good drama with the noobs after all...

Survivor: Micronesia homepage at CBS.com

And then...

Completely random, non-movie related thought of the moment

If I were so inclined, this would be my plan to destroy Microsoft:

Surely you've seen the Ford Focus commercials that feature Microsoft's Sync system, an in-dash computer that takes voice commands to do such things as play music from an MP3 player and utilizes Bluetooth to make telephone calls via your mobile phone. The commercial is here:



Apparently, to play a song, all you have to do is say "Play artist: X," and immediately, a song from "X" will start playing.

As such, I've decided that, if and when I get any musical talent, I will start a band called "Play Artist." The band will become highly popular, thus leading to a similarly high demand to listen to their songs. By this time, the Sync system will no doubt be featured in hundreds of thousands of vehicles, and when the Sync user instructs the system to play a song, the Sync will be unresponsive, leading to consumer dissatisfaction, rage, and ultimately, destruction of the unit. In turn, stock prices for Microsoft will plummet while their engineers wildly run about attempting to solve the problem. However, by then it will be too late, and I will have successfully brought the mighty Microsoft to its knees.

Play Artist's sister collective, Play Song, will be a zydeco-tejano-rockabilly outfit that wears nothing but bandanas and pajamas. Play Album, meanwhile, will be a high school stlye orchestra specializing in re-creating tunes from Rush's catalog.

Then again, I'm not particularly inclined to take down Microsoft, so maybe I'll just stow this idea away just in case I ever change my mind.

And then...

Imagining Sly Stallone sequels that will never happen...

(In case you didn't see the post like this from a few weeks back, here it is.)

The setup: It's a favorite pastime of mine to come up with sequel names for movies that will either never be made due to performance, critical response, or just because of their subject matter. A long time ago, Premiere magazine had a feature where they did this (minus the awesome MS Paint work done on the posters, as seen below). Anyway, in light of the "success" of 2006's Rocky Balboa and this year's Rambo, here are some "possibilities" for some future Sylvester Stallone sequels:

It's been too long since we've had a good trucker movie; perhaps Sly can work his magic and get former WWE wrestler Goldberg to fill the shoes of whoever that guy in the poster above is - they look exactly the same...











I miss Estelle Getty - don't you?


















For when Stallone feels like "getting serious" again. I see this as a double-feature with the previously covered We Still Own the Night.














Alternative spelling: Nitelight (you know, for kids!).

















Now this one has potential - the teaming of two muscle-bound megastars (um, of the 80s and early 90s, but whatever). I smell a Dolph Lundgren cameo as well.












As if they'd make a sequel to Rocky...sheesh.

And then...