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Feb 12, 2008

Imagining Sly Stallone sequels that will never happen...

(In case you didn't see the post like this from a few weeks back, here it is.)

The setup: It's a favorite pastime of mine to come up with sequel names for movies that will either never be made due to performance, critical response, or just because of their subject matter. A long time ago, Premiere magazine had a feature where they did this (minus the awesome MS Paint work done on the posters, as seen below). Anyway, in light of the "success" of 2006's Rocky Balboa and this year's Rambo, here are some "possibilities" for some future Sylvester Stallone sequels:

It's been too long since we've had a good trucker movie; perhaps Sly can work his magic and get former WWE wrestler Goldberg to fill the shoes of whoever that guy in the poster above is - they look exactly the same...











I miss Estelle Getty - don't you?


















For when Stallone feels like "getting serious" again. I see this as a double-feature with the previously covered We Still Own the Night.














Alternative spelling: Nitelight (you know, for kids!).

















Now this one has potential - the teaming of two muscle-bound megastars (um, of the 80s and early 90s, but whatever). I smell a Dolph Lundgren cameo as well.












As if they'd make a sequel to Rocky...sheesh.


12 people have chosen wisely: on "Imagining Sly Stallone sequels that will never happen..."

Nick said...

Funny, but your spacing for the captions to the side are off...

Nick said...

Nevermind... it's fixed now.

Fletch said...

I've been having a bitch of a time getting the pictures situated with the captions. Does anyone else have massive troubles with Blogger when it comes to image placement and spacing?

I think it looks ok now. Let me know if it looks wonky on your system.

Daniel G. said...

Hehe, nice. How about Demo Man or Cliffhanger. All kinds of follow ups to be had with Sly, as he well knows.

I've had some issues with image placement, too. You just have to keep previewing it and messing around, I don't know if there's a solution.

Nick said...

Fletch: You should have had "Judge Dredd 2: Dredd This."

Perfect opportunity wasted! :P

Dave said...

Very funny! I wouldn't mind seeing some of these if they were to come out. It would be worth the laugh for sure.

soundtrackgeek said...

Haha great stuff!

The sad part is that I want all of these movies to happen.

Mikey Filmmaker said...

This post cracked me up. What about a sequel to Cobra? Remember that tagline? Crime is a disease. Meet the cure. Classic.

Jason Soto said...

This is soooo weird. When me and my friend went and saw Rambo, we came up with all kinds of other sequels he could do. We came up with Tango & Cash (couldn't think of a funny name for that one), Judge Dredd 2: More Dreddier, and my personal favorite (which you sorta mentioned here) Stop! Or My Grandma Will Shoot! What's even weirder (or sader) is my friend was actually serious about some of the sequels he came up with. Like Cobra 2: Cobra Bite!
-Jason

Sheamus the... said...

Ha...i ahve a special memory of Daylight. It was the first movie I had ever scene where I experienced surround sound in the theater. I was young so I am not embarrassed to say i loved it.

Karl Hungus said...

Demolition Man 2

That is all.

Tony Tanti said...

Nice post, funny stuff.

I had forgotten about Over the Top until just now, I loved that movie as a young kid who didn't know better. Did everyone have an armwrestling contest with their friends right after? We did a whole tournament.