The State of the Cabins (6/30/10)

I've been working overtime for you people. Thank Netflix Watch Instantly.

Movies watched for the first time (non-theatrically) since last week:
* The Blues Brothers - I'm not entirely sure why I had yet to see the 1980 film. I didn't mean to avoid it for the first couple decades of my life, but at a certain point, it seemed like it was due to be a letdown, so I probably avoided it in recent years. At the least, I didn't go searching it out - it's not something I'd think of to rent from Blockbuster, and I definitely try to avoid watching flicks for the first time via an edited source like TBS or Comedy Central. None of the goodies + commercials? I'll pass. But thanks yet again to NWI, my excuses are gone. A viewing of Slap Shot is in my near future as well...

Anyway, this one. No real surprise here, but it was a letdown. I definitely wouldn't say that I didn't like it, but I don't think I let out a real laugh once - a chuckle here and there, and some general amusement at some of the shenanigans, but knee-slapping and gut-busting were off the board. I dug not only the casting of Carrie Fisher (I had no idea she was in it) but the skits involving her character; they were my kind of absurdity, and I dug how the Brothers didn't even acknowledge the myriad ways she was attempting to kill them until the end. It was as if she were a mere nuisance - they got up, dusted their clothes off without a word, and moved on.

Although the music was of course great, the instances where it was employed in a traditional "musical" fashion (i.e. cast members randomly breaking out into song) were a bit turn-off, not helped by the poorly disguised lip-syncing. (At first, I thought the film a low-budget one...until the cars kept piling up and the cast and necessary crew seemed to multiply exponentially.) The general storyline of the bringing the band back together on the "mission from God" was good, but as usual, length was a concern, and not even this comedy could overcome a 140-minute run time.

And though these aren't theatrical releases or full reviews, I figured I'd throw in some ratings from now on:

Fletch's Film Rating:

	Expectation: "It's in the hole!"
	Reality: "Darn tootin."

* Special - Long recommended by Nick, this ultra low budget affair starring Michael Rappaport as a lonely meter maid who starts "becoming" a superhero due to an experimental drug lived up to its advance billing. This is due largely to its ability to take something we're so familiar with (an origin tale) and completely flip it on its head. Rappaport's character starts noticing all these new abilities...or does he? As his mind becomes increasingly twisted, the true brilliance of the script comes to life, as his character finds a way to justify his actions regardless of the situation, turning the smallest slight against him or vaguest threat into the kind of thinking we've come to expect from these movies (government conspiracies, best friends turned into enemies, etc.). Filmmakers Hal Haberman and Jeremy Passmore make the most of their million dollar budget, managing not only a few CGI tricks but only old school tricks of the trade that make the film feel larger than it is.

Far from perfect, but definitely worth a watch, even more so considering its concise run time (sub-80 minutes).

Fletch's Film Rating:

	Expectation: "You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you."
	Reality: "Darn tootin."

* The Hustler - I've loved The Color of Money for years, but (of course) had never gotten around to seeing its predecessor. Would it outshine the Scorcese/Newman/Cruise team for me?

Of course not. I really, really wanted to like The Hustler, and to echo my sentiments about The Blues Brothers, there were elements that I truly enjoyed - mostly the acting from Newman himself (the more I see of him, the more respect I have for him) to George C. Scott playing an A-1 sleazeball. Gleason was fine, but I don't think he says more than 30 words the whole time. And, as with what happened after seeing A Streetcar Named Desire, I had to pull myself out of my state of shock upon reading that Piper Laurie won Best Actress for her role as The Wet Blanket. Granted, that role was probably a great inspiration to Gretchen Mol's character in Rounders, but christ, did she bug the hell out of me. Clearly, I have issues with the acting stlye of ye olden times, and only when I see an actor that I'm familiar with from "my time" am I able to reconcile it and/or convince myself that folks like Newman acted the same in the early 60s as they did in the 80s.

And, of course, the film drags on, though I'll spare you the rest of that complaint since I already feel like a broken record on that point. Instead, my biggest issue was with the relative lack of pool, or at least, the camera work during said pool games. Sure, there's more drama to be had above the felt (with the players, that is), than on it, but being a formerly avid player, I'd like some semblance of what's going on on the table and/or that these guys are actually any good. They might as well have been knitting sweaters.

Fletch's Film Rating:

	Expectation: "You're the best...around!"
	Reality: "You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you."

* The Puffy Chair - I'd never heard the term "mumblecore" until three or four months ago, probably right about the time that Cyrus was breaking out at Sundance. I was somewhat familiar with Mark Duplass (having watched him star in the FX comedy The League last fall, and might have heard the name The Puffy Chair, but this whole new aesthetic and/or his teaming with his brother Jay? Not a word, really. And now, with Greta Gerwig co-starring in Greenberg and Cyrus starring much bigger-than-tiny names like Jonah Hill, Marisa Tomei, and John C. Reilly, the Duplasses and mumblecore are getting a ton of press.

Sidenote: I hate that word, and just about any other musical/movie "genre" with the word code in its title, (O....M...Effing....G) with the possible exception of "hardcore," since that's the only one that's actually, you know, a real word, or at least based on one. But "mumblecore" - WTF does that even mean? Come to find it, it's simply defined by Wiki as:

"primarily characterized by ultra-low budget production (often employing digital video cameras), focus on personal relationships between twenty-somethings, improvised scripts, and non-professional actors."

In other words, it's a fucking independent movie. How the hell are those characteristics different from any other "genre" of tiny films made over the years? Bugs the crap out of me.

So, despite my enjoyment of M. Duplass on The League and my anticipation of Cyrus, it's safe to say that the Brothers got themselves out on the wrong foot with me (even if they weren't the ones to coin the term).

Anyway...all that said, I quite enjoyed The Puffy Chair. Once you get past the aforementioned low budget production, you can see that it's a solidly acted, amusing film, albeit one with not all that much of a narrative. It's a road trip flick with three main characters, and as with many a road trip, it deals with the way they interact and how the trip impacts their interpersonal relationships. If that sounds heavy, it's because it indeed gets heavy, though there are certainly amusements to be found along the way. In many ways, it reminded me of a cross between Away We Go and The Brothers McMullen. The characters can be painfully aggravating at times, but it's not just to the audience, it's to each other as well - they're cramped in a van, and we're cramped along with them.

(Though I'd love to know how, on this ultra-low budget, the Duplasses managed to snag Spoon, Death Cab for Cutie, Matt Pond PA and other bigger-name indie musical acts for the soundtrack...)

Fletch's Film Rating:

	Expectation: "You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you."
	Reality: "Darn tootin."

* Helvetica - Well, I'm running pretty long here, so I'll keep this short, and not just because I kept nodding off during the film last night (due to the lateness of the viewing more than the subject matter). Helvetica is a movie by, for, and (essentially) about graphic design nerds. I'm married to one, so it was right up her alley, and after having been with one for 8 years, a little graphic designer nerdiness has probably rubbed itself off on me as well.

In case you're painfully unaware, Helvetica is a font. But not just any font - THE font of choice for marketers and designers for the last 50+ years. (Here's what it looks like.) Gary Hustwit's doc is all about how it came about (in the 50s or something, by Germans or Swiss, I lost track), how it's mass popularity came about, and what it all means.

It's ok, though I don't think the filmmakers made it quite interesting enough, with several interviews with heavily accented folk that go on for long, long takes. For a movie about design, a bit more visual stimulation would have been nice (the interludes where they showed the various uses of the font in cityscapes or for corporate branding were the most interesting parts).

For design nerds only.

Fletch's Film Rating:

	Expectation: "Darn tootin."
	Reality: "You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you."

Music I'm currently obsessed with:
Yeah, I ain't had time. Nothing new here.

Book I'm currently reading:
A few months ago, I heard Kurt (I believe) on the Row Three Cinecast talking about the upcoming film adaptation of Never Let Me Go by director Mark Romanek (lots of music videos, One Hour Photo). He was intrigued at the prospect and said something to the effect of "I can't wait to see it since the novel is more or less unfilmable."

This, of course, had me intrigued.

So, after not having been able to track down Battle Royale in two smaller bookstores, I found a copy of Kazuo Ishiguro's novel, and am currently halfway through it. Just this morning, I've come across a major revelation, plot-wise.

I'm still unsure of what I think about it all. I had a hunch about where the story was going - several hints are dropped - and my fears (for lack of a better word) pretty much just came true. I don't want to give it away, but let's just say that the plot is turning into a certain Jerry Bruckheimer production and leave it at that (though set in the English countryside). So it's got this boarding school first half, and only now is it revealing What It's All About. And I'm not sure if it's gonna fly with me. Had the book been written 20 years earlier than it was, it would be fine, but not as is.

My larger issue is, despite a somewhat interesting story, I don't think the writing is all that good. I HATE the way that 90% of the chapters (or segments within chapters) end, as they all end the same goddamn way, with the narrator telling one story, then alluding to the story they are going to tell you next, followed by them doing exactly that. It's hard to explain, but it irritating as all get out. Here's an example:

"As it was, an opportunity did come along for her, about a month after the Midge episode, the time I lost me favourite tape."

END OF SEGMENT

"I still have a copy of that tape and until recently I'd listen to it occasionally..."


If there was just a little variety thrown in, it really wouldn't bother me all that much, but it's just so predictable, and seems like the writing of a child (the narrator is 31 and Ishiguro was about 50 when he wrote it. Weak. Still, I'll reserve judgement on the novel as a whole until complete.

And then...

Seriously Overdue Movie Reviews: Hot Tub Time Machine, Clash of the Titans

I'd really love to try and come up with some rationalization of Hot Tub Time Machine, some underlying (or even overlying) theme that connects the audience to the characters - that through reflection and redemption we can get beyond the various regrets that plague our lives...but I just can't. It's a movie with an era-warping Jacuzzi, for chrissakes, filled with shit, piss, cum, vomit, and any of the rest of Carlin's Seven Dirty Words not covered by that statement (including, most notably, a heavy focus on motherf*#king). In fact, now that I think about it, I might wonder if this entire film wasn't built upon those words and expanded as deemed necessary.

What's amazing is that despite the fact that the jokes seem to all be aiming low (like the crotch), Hot Tub ends up feeling pretty smart. Just about every touchstone of the 80s teen comedy is touched upon, and John Cusack's involvement gives it a meta-, almost Charlie Kauffman-like feel. Of course, it's nowhere near as philosophical as something the Adaptation scribe would have come up with, but it's not terribly far off, either.

And since I don't have much else to say about that, I'll take this space to explain a new wrinkle you'll see going forward with my ratings:

First off, the Dramamine scale is going bye-bye. I think it's kind of clever, but the fact is that due to Mrs. Fletch's inability to deal with shaky-cam and its cousins, we really do a good job avoiding the types of films that would employ it in theaters (looking at you, Green Zone).

In its place will be a second score from the Fletch Film Rating System.

I've spoken often about the roles of expectations as they pertain to our digestion of pop culture - over the years, I've come to think of them not as just a piece of the puzzle, but quite possibly the glue holding it all together (and other mixed metaphors). Moreover, since you're reading my review and my rating, my specific expectation/perception of a film prior to seeing it is highly relevant to the discussions at hand. So from now on, you'll get an "Expectation" rating and a "Reality" rating. I don't expect them (no pun intended) to offer any sort of deep insight, but just a glimpse into where my head was at on a particular film prior to seeing it. Here's the first:

Fletch's Film Rating:

	Expectation: "Darn tootin."
	Reality: "Darn tootin."

LAMBScore:

I can't imagine the horror that lovers of the 1981 original Clash of the Titans must have faced upon exiting the theater from the 2010 version. No, I've not seen the Hamlin-izes version, but my impression of it is that it's a camp classic, an overacted affair filled with big names and what can only be seen now as "lovingly bad" special effects. From the images I've seen, to say it's aged as poorly as the old Land of the Lost TV show seems a disservice to Sid and Marty Krofft. Nevertheless, people love it, and so I was prepared (on their behalf) to see a film in the remake that would make them throw their Twizzlers and Dr. Peppers at the screen - a destruction of their beloved film that tarnishes its memory. Worst case scenario was that Louis Leterrier's version would be *gulp* good.

Wrong. What they got instead was their worst nightmare. Clash 2010 is a completely middle-of-the-road movie - a charisma-free (thanks, Sam Worthington, though it's hardly all your fault), semi-exciting, mostly humorless adventure epic that's mostly unmemorable. The special effects are always "good" but never great. the story is compelling but never fully taken advantage of (Perseus' status as a demi-god is paid a lot of lip-service but is meaningless outside of it enabling him a few trinkets sprinkled down from On High). The Kraken is built up for 90 minutes only to be taken down in two. Even to a non-viewer of the original, I could see the checklist of required items being ticked off one-by-one.

The result is yes, a pointless cash grab, and for that it is offensive. But the film itself is just boring - a stock action picture that will go down in history with a ton of other films that mildly amused the masses but weren't loved by any. What fun is it to hate that?

Fletch's Film Rating:

	Expectation: "Whatever."
	Reality: "You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you."

LAMBScore:

And then...

No way, man, they're totally different...

"Ooooohhh...the Claw!!!"


"Ooooohhh...the Rip-off!!!"

And then...

ShoWest Stars of Tomorrow

Over the course of listing "achievements" of Tom Cruise's for last week's Favored Five about him, I recalled the ShoWest Awards, handed out by the National Association of Theater Owners (NATO). I remembered reading about these awards from years ago, back when Premiere Magazine was still around and they regularly covered them. The bulk of these awards were pretty obvious, kind of like the Billboard Awards - if an album was the top selling one of a given year on the Billboard charts, the odds that said album would win a Billboard award were, oh, even money. The ShoWest awards were handed out by theater owners, so in turn, the producers and stars whose films made the most money at the box office were - whaddaya know - winners.

I seemed to think that Cruise had been handed out a "star of the decade"-type award for his combined box office during either the 80s or the 90s, but that wasn't the case. Tom Hanks won a "Box Office Star of the Decade" award in 1999, but no one won one for the 90s, and Harrison Ford won "Box Office Star of the Century"...in 1994. Interesting choice, there.

Anyway, while researching all this, I was reminded of another award that they handed out - the titular "Star of Tomorrow" award, handed out sporadically until 1990, when an award was then handed out annually to one or more male and female stars. Since it's always fun to look back at the past predictions of others and chuckle, I saw an opportunity. Thus, I'll go through every award handed out (the first was granted in 1978) and offer a grade, as well as commentary where I see fit.

Make no mistake - I don't pretend to think that predicting who the stars of tomorrow - box office or otherwise - is a simple task, but still...some of these. Wow. You'll see:

Year	Sex	Actor(s)	Comment	Grade
1978	M	Mark Hamill	Easy pickings for the committee this year; however, outside of SW, Hamill has had no effect on the box office whatsoever	B-
1983	M	David Keith	An Officer and a Gentlemen proved to be a fluke; Keith has carved out a nice career as a character actor, but not much beyond that.	C+
1983	F	Shelley Long	Though I've never liked her, she's certainly been a star, and for many decades (on TV if not film).	A-
1985	M	Eric Stolz	Known quantity, has "starred" in many a film, but never an A-lister.	B+
1985	F	Kelly LeBrock	Can you say one-hit wonder? Ok, that's not true - Hard to Kill FTW - but close enough.	C
1989	F	Carey Lowell/Talisa Soto	Law & Order / …Mortal Kombat? Apparently, they put way too much stock into the potential success of Licence to Kill.	C+/D+
1990	M	Johnny Depp		A+
1990	F	Winona Ryder		B+
1991	M	Richard Greico	LOLOLOL	D-
1991	F	Robin Givens	The Boomerang doth come back.	C+
1992	F	Nicole Kidman	Thanks, Tom!	A
1992	M	Stephen Dorff	A yo-yo, this one. Making a comeback (again) with Sofia Coppola's next film, Somewhere.	B-
1993	M	Brad Pitt	Um, yeah.	A+
1993	F	Juliiette Lewis	His former GF…not so much, but not bad.	B+
1994	M	Chris O'Donnell	Still hanging around, but has never lived up to the potential of Scent of a Woman.	B
1994	F	Tia Carrere	Still hanging around, but has never lived up to the potential of Wayne's World.	B-
1995	F	Julia Ormond	Was supposed to be THE next big star after Legends of the Fall. Then Sabrina bombed, as did her career pretty much.	C+
1995	M	Will Smith/Martin Lawrence	Too easy.	A+/B+
1996	F	Cameon Diaz	I figured this for a no-brainer on their part, but after The Mask in 1994, Diaz starred in mostly indies. Either way, she's a mega-star.	A
1996	M	Greg Kinnear		B+
1997	F	Claire Danes	My So-Called Career.	B-
1997	M	Howie Long	Not as funny as Grieco, but the former NFLer's acting career stalled quickly, if it even ever took off.	C-
1998	M	Matt Damon	I don't know about them, but I knew he'd be huge immediately upon seeing School Ties in 1992. Ok, that's not true at all.	A
1998	F	Minnie Driver		B
1999	M	Giovanni Ribisi	He's a solid (and respected) actor, but he's yet to become any sort of box office star.	B-
1999	F	Heather Graham	Had a good stretch there for awhile.	B-
2000	F	Hilary Swank	2-time Best Actress. 'Nuff said.	A-
2000	M	Michael Clarke Duncan	Anyone else see him play the heavy in Daredevil. Anyone?	C
2001	M	Heath Ledger	Everyone knows his name, but he wasn't a box office star until after he'd died.	B+
2001	F	Shannon Elizabeth	Now THIS is a one-hit wonder.	C-
2002	M	Josh Hartnett	WTF happened to this guy? He and James Franco taking each other's parts?	C+
2002	F	Naomi Watts	The Cate Blanchett of Whichever Country Blanchett's Not From.	B+
2003	F	Alison Lohman	It's not too late, but the train is still waiting at the station.	B-
2003	M	LL Cool J	Where did this come from? He'd been a known quantity for at least 15 years, and had been acting regularly for a decade prior.	C+
2004	F	Jennifer Garner	She's a star, but how big? The jury's still out.	B
2004	M	Ryan Gosling	See Ribisi, Giovanni.	B
2005	M	Hayden Christensen	What an obvious choice, and it still has backfired terribly.	D
2005	F	Jessica Biel		A-
2006	M	Brandon Routh	Strike one.	C+
2006	F	Jennifer Hudson	Strike two.	C+
2007	F	Emma Roberts	Too young to say for sure.	TBD
2007	M	Shia LaBeouf	Not much older, but certainly has a nice box office record on his resume.	A-
2008	F	Abigail Breslin	Getting there, maybe.	B
2008	M	Emile Hirsch	See Gosling, Ryan.	B-
2009	F	Briana Evigan, Leah Pipes, Rumer Willis, Jamie Chung, Audrina Patridge, Margo Harshman	AKA the 'stars' of Sorority Row. I guess this award is for sale annually.	F
2009	M	Chris Pine	Another safe bet - who know how it'll turn out.	TBD
2010	M	Alex Pettyfer	I've never even heard of this guy. Looks like he's the star of Beastly, along with…	D-
2010	F	Vanessa Hudgens	…this Disney/naughty video chick. Yup, the award is officially for sale. At least I've heard of her…	C+

And then...

Stained Glass Cinema Sunday (#98)

BEGINNER














EXPERT















Standings:
J.D. - 28
TheGreatWhiteDope - 8.5

Dreamrot (smacdonn) - 7
Nick, Wendymoon - 6
Clive Dangerously - 5
simoncolumb, Steel11Kane (Kano), BD79 - 4
Jason/Daniel, David Bishop, Rachel, JLG, Justin - 3
TJMAC510 - 2.5
Evan Derrick, Jason Soto - 2
TonyD, Luke Harrington, Adam Ross, Anders, Dave, Big Mike Mendez, Nic Cage, CaptainRon19 - 1

Here are the altered/actual posters from last time:

And then...

The Career That Never Was

Looking for something to watch last night at 11:30, I came across So I Married an Axe Murderer. I've always enjoyed the film more than I probably should - it's not particularly brilliantly written or acted - but it has a lot of nostalgic influence on me. This is due in large part to the coffee shop alt-rock soundtrack of my later high school years that dominates it, but mostly to the performance of the still-on-SNL Mike Myers. He's hilarious when dressed up as Charlie Mackenzie's father Stuart, but he's funny and charming as Charlie himself, in a role that's probably closest to Myers' true personality than any other role we've seen him play.

And that makes sad.

You'd be hard-pressed to make the argument that Myers' career has been a failure - short of The Love Guru and The Cat in the Hat, he's been almost unequivocally successful, both

commercially and critically. His time on SNL prepped him for a career full of interesting characters, but that's part of the problem. Funny as his varied characters have been, this is one actor that we could probably stand to see more of "for real" every now and then. Short of small roles that I never saw (View from the Top, The Thin Pink Line, Mystery, Alaska) and a small film that I've never heard of (Pete's Meteor), every role Myers has had since 1993 has heavily involved the makeup chair and/or the wigmaster. To make matters worse, his most dominating presence in popular culture over the last decade has been with a franchise in which we don't see him at all. Children who grew up on the Shrek films will likely know as much about Myers as I do Mel Blanc!

Eddie Murphy has been blasted over the last 15 years for devolving from a hard-edged comic to a shiller of neverending (and painfully bad) family films, and I've been one of the people blasting him as well, but I'm starting to feel as though the latter stage of Myers' career is just as big a disappointment. There's a fourth Austin Powers film in the rumor mill lately, and a Keith Moon biopic is on the horizon for Myers' near future as well. I can't help but wonder, Mike, will we ever get a chance to see a little bit more of you in your movies?

And then...

TGITDNMAR (6/25/10)

It's that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released.

Sick of remakes, sequels, and adaptations? This is your week. Too bad neither movie looks all that great...

Grown Ups
Doesn't this just feel like the laziest movie ever made? I can picture Sandler and his buddies coming up with the general outline of it during Happy Hour over Amstel Lights and chicken wings. It probably took them all of 40 minutes.

Of course Dennis Dugan is directing (his 5th Sandler film). Of course Steve Buscemi makes an appearance. Of course Rob Schneider is onboard (his 496th Sandler film). And when I heard that the plot centered on the death of the gang's old basketball coach, I knew immediately who that was. I'll give you zero guesses.

Yep, you might not know his name, but it's Blake Clark aka That Guy That Talks Cajun Real Good. He's on his 6th Sandler flick, though he also had a cameo in Joe Dirt, too (and interestingly, he's Jim Varney's replacement for Slinky Dog in Toy Story 3). I like the guy, and really most everyone involved here to some degree, but does Happy Madison have to be so damned predictable? The only real shock is that none of The Sandler Non-Famous Buddy Crew (aka Allen Covert, Peter Dante, or Jonathan Loughran) are anywhere to be seen. Falling out? I hope not. Scratch that - further inspection of the cast and crew reveals that Loughran has a role in the film and Covert is listed as an executive producer. Only Dante is missing - I guess he was busy starring in this p.o.s. (nice Photoshop work on the poster).

Short story long - Grown Ups looks no different than every other Sandler flick these days. I'm sure it'll have its moments of amusement here and there, but I'm content to currently think it looks crappy and change my opinion to "Ok, that wasn't so bad" when I catch it on video in six months.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 10%

Knight and Day
I've said all along that I've no interest in seeing this - the thought of Cruise being a chatty spy and Diaz being Diaz doesn't exactly float my boat - however...I must admit that the decent reviews streaming in (6.9/10 on IMDb currently) combined with the pretty sweet supporting cast have me intrigued. Hell, instead of watching the movie starring Cruise and Diaz, can I watch the one starring Peter Sarsgaard, Paul Dano, Viola Davis, and Maggie Grace?
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 38%

And then...

The State of the Cabins (6/24/10)

I took yesterday off, from work and from this segment.

Movies watched for the first time (non-theatrically) since last week:
* Equilibrium - Been a few days and I still can't tell you for sure how much I liked this one. I know it was a disappointment based on what I'd heard about it going in. It certainly featured some interesting action (not great, but different enough to stand out - the "gun swordfight" had me bursting laughing out loud, though) and many a thought-provoking idea...only each and every one of them felt ultra-recycled. Much like the recent Prince of Persia, Equilibrium should probably be sub-titled An Amalgamation of Every Movie Ever Made. Though a movie that reminds me of Demolition Man can't be all bad, right? And it was nice to see Taye Diggs in a larger role; too bad said role was flat as a pancake.

However, it committed a major faux pas

in my book of Future Films' Rules. I can't seem to track down what year the film is actually set in, but let's undershoot it and just say it's 2050. Why are the big shits of the land driving Cadillac Eldorados from the 90s? The good news is that they differentiated them by giving them a super-sleek interior, devoid of nearly every instrument panel, or at least made them unnoticeable by painting the entire interior stark white. But the fact remains that I lose respect for the film every time a "modern" car is unironically featured as a car of the future. It's not as though there was a cavalry of cars that were needed, thereby being a potential budget buster - I can't imagine that more than two of those Caddys were used for filming. Lame.

* Monsters, Inc. - I'd seen about half of this a couple years ago at my sister's house, but it was late and I fell asleep and just never got around to finishing it. But with my recent acquisition of an Instant Streaming via Wii disc from Netflix, it was an easy choice to watch quickly.

All in all, I'd say that I enjoyed it, but having seen all of Pixar's flicks save for A Bug's Life now, I'd place this one at the bottom, just above Cars. It's way too "kiddie" compared to their recent works, but more importantly, I found that it lacked the detail that makes Pixar's flicks so great - the characters were flat, their world was ill-defined, the story too sitcom-ish. Even worse, it seemed to lack the visual impact others have had - where was all the "stuff" going on in the background for our amusement? At one point, I saw a clown fish that made me think "Hey, a nod to Nemo!" Unfortunately, Monsters was released two years before Nemo - that might have been an in-joke for the creators, but it certainly wasn't for the audience.

Kind of fun, but far from a classic, despite the excellent voice work by the two leads.

Music I'm currently obsessed with:
Every few months, I remind myself to listen to all of my Brazilian Girls albums (usually in a row). God damn they're good, and though it's only been two years, I'm getting impatient for something new from them. Apparently they're writing new music now - sweet. If you're not familiar with them, I suggest starting with their self-titled debut. I have no idea how I'd describe their sound, but here's what Wiki has to say: "Brazilian Girls is a band from New York City known for their eclectic blend of electronic dance music with musical styles as diverse as tango, chanson, house, reggae and lounge." So...whatever that means to you.

Book I'm currently reading:
Sadly, none. The good news is that I finished The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest. The bad news is also the same. With each book, I started off reading them at a normal pace, but at about the halfway point of each, the action really picks up, and with it, my reading speed (or rather, time spent reading). I burned through the last half of Hornet's in no time flat, and now I'm sad because I have no more books with those characters. I'm also sad because the ending, while it had its moments, was sub-par. Vast pages of this edition were spent developing certain characters and themes, only to essentially drop them come the last 100 pages. I felt betrayed for them, and I feel as though they didn't get a proper send-off. I'll refrain from saying anything more so as not to spoil the book(s).

And next? I have no idea. I'd kind of like to start reading some Elmore Leonard, but I really, really don't like reading a book after I've seen a movie, and I've seen so many of his adaptations that I don't know where I'd start. I've read recently about a book called The Imperfectionists, about an English journalist or something in Rome, and considering the dose of journalism and Europe I've had with the Larsson books, I actually think that sounds like a good segue. We'll see...

And then...

Poll results; new poll

By a wide margin, you chose Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of Monkey Fighting Shias as the clubhouse leader in the "worst ending" department. Funny, I hated the movie almost in totality; the ending was surely ridiculous enough to be put on that list, but I'm a bit surprised it won - and so handily. Though I can't remember what I did vote for - probably A.I. It should also be noted that the great Steven Spielberg has three entries on that list; I know it's neither a scientific nor comprehensive list, but if you look around the 'net, you'll see his films often on lists of films with terrible endings. And Minority Report could certainly be considered for such lists as well, especially if you ask Mrs. Fletch.

New poll piggybacks on to the Favored Five I just put up of Tom Cruise flicks. A few people have already chimed in in the comments with their favorites - what's yours?

And then...

LAMBcast #27

FYI: I started a dedicated Facebook page for the LAMBcast. I'll still post something here when a new episode is released, but if you're looking for a central place for commentary, suggestions, complaints, etc., go here (and LIKE it!).

They say imitation is the most sincere form of flattery. Well, we'll see about that.

The LAMBcast pays tribute to the LAMMY-nominated podcasts by not just paying lip service, but actually becoming them. Yes, that's right - we did a segment of the show using each of the five nominated podcasts - The Matineecast, The Film Cynics, The Simon & Jo Film Show, A Life in Equinox Podcastmonium, and The Demented Encyclopedia - as our templates. Some we did better than others...you'll see.

On hand for all this tomfoolery was Nick Jobe, Jason Soto, Travis McCollum, and myself. Oh, and this episode is chock full of the cursing. Not for wee one's ears.

As usual, the music, as provided royalty-free by Kevin MacLeod's Incompetech website, is the bomb. Big thanks to Kevin for providing this service.

Additional music used for this episode:

* Franz Ferdinand - "The Dark of the Matinee"

* Rage Against the Machine - "Know Your Enemy"

* The Film Cynics - Theme Song, artist unknown

* The Go Team! - "Bottle Rocket"

* Iggy Pop - "Lust for Life"

Also, we're still on iTunes, and would still love a review, even if it's a bad one. Thanks for listening!

And then...

Fletch's Favored Five: Cruise Flicks

LAMB Acting School 101 is coming up, and I had yet to write an 'original' (in quotes because how original is a top five list, really?) post on one of the subjects. Damn it, it's time.

The subject, as you might have guessed by the title of this post, is Tom Cruise. Legend, pariah, action star, small man, chronic fake laugher, Maverick. Star or co-star of an impeccable "(TV)"- and "(V)"-free IMDb resume (seriously, 36 credits up there right now and they're all A-list films, short of Losin' It, perhaps). Somewhat embattled a bit by scandal/supposed insanity over the last 8 years or so, Cruise remains a top box office draw and has been at or near the top of the A-list for nearly 30 years. Certainly, choosing but five of his films would prove difficult.

Or not. There's certainly many quality pictures to choose from, but the film chosen below were done almost immediately upon sight of his filmography. you could likely talk me out of number five in favor of another film, but the first four are all locks, and I don't see them going anywhere anytime soon. On with the countdown:

5. The Firm - I never read the book, but I read enough of it to know that Cruise was way off in the casting of Mitch McDeere, who I believe was described as a hulking college football quarterback type, somewhere where in the 6'3" range, if I recall correctly.

No matter. You want a Boy Scout for your story, you could do much worse than nabbing Cruise, the eternal determined, fearless, type-A personality if ever there was one. Sydney Pollack directed the John Grisham adaptation with intensity, a healthy dose of atmosphere (not quite Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil magic, but you get the feel of Memphis pretty good), and, best of all, a sense of humor and a terrific cast of veteran character actors, from Hal Holbrook to Ed Harris to Terry Kinney to David Strathairn to Wilford Brimley, for chrissakes. Not meaningful cinema, but a hell of a solidly-acted film.

4. Mission: Impossible - This was more of a movie catching me at the right time in life than anything else, I suppose. It's not particularly great, with the type of ridiculous finale that I usually laugh at and/or hate. But...short of that, it was an engaging espionage thriller, with a crackerjack intro that had you meet a bunch of characters only to kill half of them off almost immediately (including a shocking Emilio death), some memorable action set pieces (the invasion of Langley, complete with Cruise doing his high-wire dangling act, and Jean Reno and Ving Rhames in the most memorable roles they've had outside of the ones that made them famous.

3. The Color of Money - The student has become the teacher has become the student. Indeed, the setup of this film is not all that original, but Paul Newman owns the screen, and Cruise in the midst of his hotshot Hollywood rise, all with an in-his-prime Scorcese directing? Yes, please! Doesn't hurt that I was once a rising young pool shark myself; okay, that's a vast exaggeration, but I sure did play a lot once upon a time, and unlike The Hustler, there is actually some good pool play on display here.

2. Minority Report - I don't detest the ending of this like Mrs. Fletch does, but damned if it doesn't have the Spielberg Memorial Mega Super Happy Finale flair, complete with the Daddy issues theme that runs like a vein through seemingly all his films. But a phenomenal Phil Dick story remains a phenomenal Phil Dick story, and Samantha Morton makes it all go down so well. Even better is a desperate, on-the-run Cruise in one of his better performances. An underappreciated gem.

1. Top Gun - The cineaste in me, the movie snob, would indeed scoff at this choice, as many of you are probably doing right now (if you weren't already with some of my other choices). Well, though. Sure, it's a homorerotic feast for the senses with bad music, overacting and enough melodrama to rival a soap opera, but it's so much more than that, and if I have to recap it all for you, you clearly haven't seen it.

And then...

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

And then...

Blogger Bitching #4

Well, here's a winner of a post idea. It will either a) not appeal to you in the slightest or b) offend you in one way or another. Who knows, though, maybe there are some other options as well, like c) you'll agree and change your dastardly ways or d) you'll call me on my b.s.

Anyway, the crux of this hinges on one simple fact: I visit a lot of blogs on a daily basis. Regardless of my LAMB shepherding, there are a number of sites that I enjoy reading frequently. I won't call out any specific names, but if some of these bitches apply to you, don't be too offended - just appease me and fix whatever the problem is.

Bitch #1 - Wordpress Wants to Really, Really Make Sure
If you're familiar with the previous Bitches I've made, you know that the lack of a comment subscription checkbox (to receive subsequent comments by email) is a serious issue for me, so much so that I've already bitched about it twice.

I will not subject you to a third time, as most every blog I read currently has this option. Yay! I win.

However. Much as the blogging world ♥s Wordpress, I take issue with the way their subscription process works. Here's how it shakes out:

I go to a WP blog and leave a comment. While doing so, I click the handy checkbox that indicates that I'd like to be notified of follow-up comments via email. Super. Sometime later, I go to my email, and lo and behold, there's one from the site I just left a comment at. But it's not a follow-up comment. No, it's an email with a link, telling me that I need to confirm my comment subscription by click on the link.

Now, once I click the link, I don't have to do anything. It takes me to the Master Wordpress Comment Subscription Management Page, which shows me every thread I'm subscribed to at every WP-hosted site. I can close the window at will. Not too much trouble, right?

Wrong. Granted, it's about a five second process. But why the hell should I be cluttered with a meaningless email and be forced to click to open a meaningless window just to subscribe to a post's comments? I ALREADY CHECKED THE BOX INDICATING I WANTED FUTURE COMMENTS SENT BY EMAIL. Let's suppose, for instance, that I checked that box by accident - what's the worst that could happen? If you guessed "you'd get an email when the next comment was posted," you're 100% right. And if I didn't like it, I could simply click the "unsubscribe" link from email.

Stop hitting me over the head with stupid, Wordpress. My confirmation that I wanted emails for future comments came when I checked the box in the first place.

Bitch #2 - DIV
If you're not a Blogspot blogger, you might as well stop reading this one right now. And if you never use the "Edit HTML" tab when composing your messages, you're safe to skip it, too. In fact, I don't even know how to explain this one properly.

Put it this way: When I start writing a new post, I usually do so in "Compose" mode. It's a much more visually appealing interface than HTML, and it gives me an idea of how the post will look when completed, as is the intended goal. But often, I think something needs fixing or whatever, and I go to the "Edit HTML" tab to do so. It's there where I discover that the evil <div> tag has taken over. And yet it's usage is inconsistent; it appears as though every time I hit "Return" it shows up, but not always. I hate the <div> tag and will delete it any time I see it. That's all, really.

Bitch #3 - Ungrateful fools
Ask me about this one sometime later...let's just say it has to do with a certain awards show over at a certain movie blog association.

-------------------------------------

Got a bitch of your own, for me or some other (non-specific) site? Put your complaining pants on and let me hear it.

And then...

SOMR: Saint John of Las Vegas, MacGruber, Casino Jack and the United States of Money, and Hey Hey, It's Esther Blueberger

Ok, the last one isn't Overdue at all, seeing as how I just saw the flick four days ago, but IMDb lists the production date as being in 2008 (slow distribution to America), so I'm giving myself a pass.

Saint John of Las Vegas
Quirky indie comedy starring Steve Buscemi as a compulsive gambler who must confront the question of whether or not he is cursed with bad luck or if we make our own? This road trip film might be paired with Wristcutters: A Love Story or even the true Odyssey adaption O Brother Where Art Thou? (it even co-stars Tim Blake Nelson) for an interesting double-feature. Though it's not as good as either, it's filled with offbeat characters and interesting jaunts into the underworld of Vegas and the surrounding Southwest. Also co-starring Romany Malco in the largest role I've seen him get yet, the always refreshing Peter Dinklage, and a tame, attractive (yet kooky) Sarah Silverman. Go in with a clear head willing to be taken anywhere and you just might like it.

Fletch's Film Rating:

	"You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you."

Shaky Cam Rating (details):	LAMBScore:

MacGruber
I'd never seen the sketches (only the Super Bowl commercials), had little-to-no-interest in the movie, and wondered what had happened to Val Kilmer that had led him to this point. So, of course, I walked away pleased with MacGruber. Far from the success of the Wayne's Worlds of the, er, world, but also far from the depths of It's Pat, Grubes relies a bit too heavily on toilet humor, but featured more than a handful of gags (sight or otherwise) that had me giggling incessantly, and an overall irreverence and absurdist mentality that worked well to endear the film to me. Kilmer, as it turns out, was completely game for a comedy such as this, and made for a solid villain. Knowledge of MacGyver helpful but not necessary.

Fletch's Film Rating:

	"You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you."

Shaky Cam Rating (details):	LAMBScore:

Casino Jack and the United States of Money
I never quite know how to review a documentary. Fiction is fiction - I don't have to worry about its accuracy to rate it, and with a doc, who's to say what's accurate, what's misleading, what's an outright lie? Certainly not me.

So I end up basing my opinion on some combination of how pissed off and/or entertained the film makes me feel...and Casino Jack succeeds on both counts. For the uninitiated, it tells the story of uber-lobbyist and milker of our government's teat Jack Abramoff, a man who gamed the system too well, drawing too much attention to himself and, in the end, causing his demise.

It's almost a shame that Abramoff was entrenched in prison for the making of this film (and remains there), since it seems as though all the players in his life for the last 25 years are represented, and yet Jack is given not only no rebuttal, but only a whisker of dialogue - he's seen plenty in photographs, but we hear his voice for no more than 20 seconds of the entire run time. That said, it's hard to level a complaint of one-sidedness at filmmaker Alex Gibney (Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room) when he's compiled nearly all of Jack's co-conspirators over the years to speak on theirs' or Jack's behalf, from Tom DeLay and Bob Ney on down the line. Most entertaining/sad is the bit in which we learn that David Grosh, a childhood friend of Michael Scanlon, was hired to front a "think tank" that was little more than a money-laundering operation. From Wiki: "Grosh recounted Scanlon's phone call to him at the hearing:

Want to be head of an international corporation?' I was like, sure. It was a hard one to turn down. I asked him what I had to do, and he said 'Nothing'. So that sounded pretty good to me."

If you're in the mood for hating capitalism - even more than Michael Moore's Love Story - this is the film to watch. Interestingly, the Hollywood version, starring Kevin Spacey, Kelly Preston, Barry Pepper and Jon Lovitz (?) will be released soon, under the title Bagman.

Fletch's Film Rating:

	"Darn tootin!"

Shaky Cam Rating (details):	LAMBScore:

Hey Hey, It's Esther Blueberger
Charming. Quirky. Indie. Aussie.

Now that I have those keywords out of the way, I can focus on the film more. But seriously, this coming-of-age film about a 13-year old Jewish girl in Southern Australia endears you quickly to its odd duck protagonist - literally, there's an adorable duck following her around. Esther is like most teenagers, unhappy with her place in the social hierarchy of junior high/high school (or its Aussie equivalent), the object of mocking at her private school.

A few emotional instances begin a cycle of change for Esther, not the least of which is her budding friendship with Sunni, a Chris Chambers-like (Stand By Me) "cool girl" character who has come from what might be deemed as the wrong side of the tracks, but is no less wise for it. To the contrary, it's Sonny's home life that Esther envies. In time, Esther comes to learn what's most important to her in her crazy life.

Though I'm not sure if the filmmakers knew exactly where to go with the story, it's certainly an enjoyable trip, in the vein of other oddball films such as Amelie, Rocket Science and Rushmore (I swear, it even copped some of the music from the former). Keisha Castle-Hughes (Whale Rider) co-stars as the punky Sunni and Toni Collette as her mother. Newcomer Danielle Catanzariti was plucked from over 3,000 girls to play the eponymous lead, and delivers a complete, robust performance.

Fletch's Film Rating:

	"Darn tootin!"

Shaky Cam Rating (details):	LAMBScore:

And then...