Seriously Overdue Movie Reviews: Hot Tub Time Machine, Clash of the Titans

I'd really love to try and come up with some rationalization of Hot Tub Time Machine, some underlying (or even overlying) theme that connects the audience to the characters - that through reflection and redemption we can get beyond the various regrets that plague our lives...but I just can't. It's a movie with an era-warping Jacuzzi, for chrissakes, filled with shit, piss, cum, vomit, and any of the rest of Carlin's Seven Dirty Words not covered by that statement (including, most notably, a heavy focus on motherf*#king). In fact, now that I think about it, I might wonder if this entire film wasn't built upon those words and expanded as deemed necessary.

What's amazing is that despite the fact that the jokes seem to all be aiming low (like the crotch), Hot Tub ends up feeling pretty smart. Just about every touchstone of the 80s teen comedy is touched upon, and John Cusack's involvement gives it a meta-, almost Charlie Kauffman-like feel. Of course, it's nowhere near as philosophical as something the Adaptation scribe would have come up with, but it's not terribly far off, either.

And since I don't have much else to say about that, I'll take this space to explain a new wrinkle you'll see going forward with my ratings:

First off, the Dramamine scale is going bye-bye. I think it's kind of clever, but the fact is that due to Mrs. Fletch's inability to deal with shaky-cam and its cousins, we really do a good job avoiding the types of films that would employ it in theaters (looking at you, Green Zone).

In its place will be a second score from the Fletch Film Rating System.

I've spoken often about the roles of expectations as they pertain to our digestion of pop culture - over the years, I've come to think of them not as just a piece of the puzzle, but quite possibly the glue holding it all together (and other mixed metaphors). Moreover, since you're reading my review and my rating, my specific expectation/perception of a film prior to seeing it is highly relevant to the discussions at hand. So from now on, you'll get an "Expectation" rating and a "Reality" rating. I don't expect them (no pun intended) to offer any sort of deep insight, but just a glimpse into where my head was at on a particular film prior to seeing it. Here's the first:

Fletch's Film Rating:

	Expectation: "Darn tootin."
	Reality: "Darn tootin."

LAMBScore:

I can't imagine the horror that lovers of the 1981 original Clash of the Titans must have faced upon exiting the theater from the 2010 version. No, I've not seen the Hamlin-izes version, but my impression of it is that it's a camp classic, an overacted affair filled with big names and what can only be seen now as "lovingly bad" special effects. From the images I've seen, to say it's aged as poorly as the old Land of the Lost TV show seems a disservice to Sid and Marty Krofft. Nevertheless, people love it, and so I was prepared (on their behalf) to see a film in the remake that would make them throw their Twizzlers and Dr. Peppers at the screen - a destruction of their beloved film that tarnishes its memory. Worst case scenario was that Louis Leterrier's version would be *gulp* good.

Wrong. What they got instead was their worst nightmare. Clash 2010 is a completely middle-of-the-road movie - a charisma-free (thanks, Sam Worthington, though it's hardly all your fault), semi-exciting, mostly humorless adventure epic that's mostly unmemorable. The special effects are always "good" but never great. the story is compelling but never fully taken advantage of (Perseus' status as a demi-god is paid a lot of lip-service but is meaningless outside of it enabling him a few trinkets sprinkled down from On High). The Kraken is built up for 90 minutes only to be taken down in two. Even to a non-viewer of the original, I could see the checklist of required items being ticked off one-by-one.

The result is yes, a pointless cash grab, and for that it is offensive. But the film itself is just boring - a stock action picture that will go down in history with a ton of other films that mildly amused the masses but weren't loved by any. What fun is it to hate that?

Fletch's Film Rating:

	Expectation: "Whatever."
	Reality: "You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you."

LAMBScore: