It's a Festivus miracle! Just in time for the second-to-last episode of the season, I bring you the first live blogging of the season. I have no idea if this is really episode 14 - that's just what a 10-second Google search told me. Don't count on another one of these for the three-hour finale, though...
7:01: So, are the producers just telling us right away that Chase is going home tonight or are they just trying to throw us off the "Fabio's days are numbered" scent? I say the latter. There's no reason Fabio shouldn't be going tonight, much as it pains me to say so.
7:03: Alright - we got the obligatory "I'm in control of this game" statement out of the good and early. That's always nice.
7:04: "We got a cell phone!," says Chase immediately upon the return from commercial break. Um, shouldn't you be saying "We got a SPRINT cell phone?"
7:05: "Something as simple as a Sprint cell phone." There we go.
7:07: Have we ever had a contestant that had no family to speak of at all? Who would be in their video? I know we've had friends come to the island, but I imagine family was still represented in the [INSERT SPONSOR HERE] Family Message segment.
7:08: Not just a Sprint, but a Sprint EVO. Thanks for the clarification, Jeff.
7:09: Are those Subway sandwiches on that plate? If so, why the hell not?
7:10: I know I say this (just about) every season, but really? Do these people get drugged into being so goddamn emotional? Ton Hanks wasn't that emotional after seeing Helen Hunt for the first time again in Cast Away, for chrissakes!
7:12: "Fletch, here's your daughter, presented by Sprint!"
"Woooooo!!! This makes me so EVOtional!"
7:14: Oooh...Holly's husband Charlie gave quite the look of determination there.
7:15: Speaking of Chuck, I think he's this guy's brother --->>>
7:18: Charlie's gonna kill Chase when he returns to America...
7:18: But no! Chase gets one more pick, and it's Holly and her hubby!
7:19: Note to Fabio - if you love your Mom so much, why don't you live in the same state as her. Don't blame Chase for your issues at being a bad son.
7:23: God, I would never want to win a Reward Challenge after the tribal merge - these people turn into whining ninnies if you don't pick THEM to go with you. You only get so many selections...everyone can't go. Deal with it.
7:26: Blah blah blah family reward blah blah eating blah blah boats. Sorry, I was reading emails through all that. Whatever. Get to the good stuff.
7:30: And now...the return of the reviled Chase. Presented by EVO.
7:30: Fabio: "I'm a little bit jealous. You got four awesome rewards in a row." Whah-whah-whah. Maybe if you just won a challenge every now and then you wouldn't be such a whiny bitch right now.
7:32:"Some of the items in your bag will feel right but won't match." That's just messed up right there.
7:33: Dan is the last one. Who'da thunk it?
7:35: And just like that, Fabio pulls out a Challenge win...and he couldn't possibly need it more. Thankfully, this will make for an interesting end to this show. Dan might seem the logical pick since he and Fabio are in the minority, but is there a better person to take to the final Council than Dan? I think not. We all know Sash is in control, so he ain't going. Chase also has a hidden idol, so he shouldn't be going any where (when else is he gonna play it?). That leaves Jane and Holly. We all know they don't want to take Jane to the final Council, so my money's on her to go home.
7:38: An EVO commercial...how entirely un-coincidental.
7:40: What if Dan quits?
7:42: "Without us saying anything, what do you think?" In other words, "Holly, reveal your position before we reveal ours." Of course, Holly is dumb enough to fall for it.
7:44: LOL! I don't care about anything else Jane has done, that (pixelated) move by Jane right there (flipping Sash off) was fucking brilliant. On the other hand, I see what they did as being pretty damn honorable. They could have lied to her and just said "Yeah, we're voting off Dan," but instead they told her that they knew she would beat them and that they were afraid of her. I don't expect her to like those word, but they're probably better than the alternative of being backstabbed. People gotta go home eventually, right?
7:46: Seriously...stop calling that chick Purple Kelly.
7:49: Thank you, Jeff - the voice of reason. This is gonna be one hell of an interesting vote.
7:50: The look on Holly's face is priceless right now. She went from being secure to being pretty well fucked right now, being the only one of the three without an idol. So are we getting a tie or what?
7:52: The sad news in all this (that Mrs. Fletch just pointed out) is that Jeff essentially had to tell Jane, Dan, and Fabio what to do in this situation. Hello!?!?!
7:53: WTF just happened? I can't wait to see which of the Dan/Fabio combo is the bigger idiot - why didn't they all vote for Holly? And if neither did, well I'm just speechless.
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