Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains Episode 12 Recap/Live Blog

No time for love, Dr. Jones - let's get down to business.

7:00: Starting off the show with a retrospection of Russ' greatest hits of the season? Not a good sign for the oil man's prospects to last through this episode, especially since two people are going home tonight.

7:01: Random prediction: Colby wins this season. I've been saying (joking) all season that the producers have been doing everything they can to keep him around - why not see him get the win?

7:02: Of course, that means I've all but sealed his fate. Colby going home tonight.

7:03: "Colby and I are on a sinking ship - there are no other Heroes." - Rupert. See - what'd I tell ya? Colby's going home.

7:04: No, Rupert - Russplestiltskin is not worse than Johnny Fairplay. That dude's just pathetic.

7:05: Sweet - fireworks! The battle of guys whose names start with Ru- is off to a rip-roaring start.

7:06: What does Candice's arm say? "I love John?" Boyfriend? She must be trying to one-up Sandra's Afghanistan t-shirt.

7:06: Ok, as much as I have professed love for these types of challenges that test stamina and will, I must say that I'm getting just a tad sick of all these recycled challenges. They're good challenges, but c'mon, it's a bit much.

7:08: Might I please suggest a bonus luxury item - please please please give these women (and men) some razors! Ugh.

7:09: How stupid do you have to be to voluntarily give up immunity at this stage of the game? It almost makes me want to see Rupert (and Sandra) go home. This is ridiculous. For food! Offer me a quarter-million dollars to step down and I'd think about it. Anything less - screw off.

7:11: Rupert just said as much. Apparently, his was the lead head on the chopping block, and he'll be the first one gone this episode.

7:12: Rhyming "stone" and "home" - interesting...

7:14: So, who wants to bet against Russell for getting this hidden idol? Not me.

7:15: Ha! Sandra thought there was seriously a bush on fire out there? Priceless.

7:16: As a reward for her stupidity, of course Sandra finds the idol. Though did she just put it back, or was that just the paper that came along with it? Either way, I don't get it. Everyone's gonna find out she has it eventually.

7:18: Ok, this is getting interesting. We've had situations before where people faked having an idol, but I can't recall a time when one person faked it at the same time that another person not only had it, but was actually (god forbid) hiding the fact that they have one. Though, at this point, it looks as though Rupe's plan is going to work - Candice appears to have her head on the block now.

7:20: Jeri almost appears to be balding. Don't get me wrong - her hairline is striking, almost attractive, but it looks weird.

7:22: Colby, I like you, Billy, but the self-righteous act you're playing against Candice is a bit much. People do what they have to do to get ahead in the game; you're not allowed to get all butt-hurt when it doesn't work out to your advantage. There can be only one! (Though there can be two movie references.)

7:24: Just saw a commercial for Burger King where the King was mocked up like Iron Man. Hilarious.

7:28: Oh yeah, the game. Bye, Candice. You will be sorely missed by no one. Well played, Stinky Pirate. I can't believe it worked.

7:29: I hope you saw what I saw just now: Russ just wrote down "Candance" instead of "Candice."

7:30: Russ needs to just chill the eff out, as his teammates effectively told him just now. "We're five, they're two. They suck at challenges." I swear, one of the biggest downfalls of people in power in this game is having a vendetta against one specific person that's in a position of weakness. Even with a Sandra flip, the numbers are 4-3 in favor of the Villains. Say Rupert gets immunity, which Russ is terribly afraid of for some reason. Bam - get rid of Colby. Now it's 4-2. You really think Rupert's going to win three challenges in a row? Calm down and stop feeling the need to dominate every section of the game.

7:33: God, I would so kick ass at this challenge...

7:34: ...until we got to the slide puzzle. I find those things either really easy or really impossible. Not much middle ground, and getting the solution is usually an accident.

7:35: Yes! Russ keeps Rupert from getting the idol! Which pretty much means it has to be Rupert or Colby going home now.

7:41: Goddamn, Russell is stupid. He's making it really hard for me to root for him. This plan will not work.

7:42: Russell just dug his own grave. This is going to backfire horribly, and it's plainly obvious that Parvati wears the pants in this tribe. Unappealing as she can be, Parv ain't stupid, and his thinking that he's the smart one and everyone else is part of some "stupid person alliance" is idiotic.

7:45: What has this game come to when Jeri has become the most honorable person in the game?

7:46: This is bonkers; it's clear that people are not meant to play back-to-back seasons of this game. Russ, who mind you is in a winning tribe right now, is off his flipping rocker, trying to convince anyone and everyone that they are the ones to go next unless they do whatever he tells them. He's acting as though he's an uber-desperate player who's about to go home. This is a cry for help.

7:47: I just saw Russ' idol - I'd totally forgotten that he even had it. If he didn't, he'd be going home right now.

7:48: That Amanda is one powerful chick - she managed to send Cosmic Crying Waves towards Danielle, forcing her into a crying fit.

7:49: This Council is painful, and Exhibit X for "Times Jeff Gets Too Involved in the Game." Waaaaaay too much being discussed right now.

7:51: Was I wrong about Jeri? "With this vote, I'm sealing my fate." Did she just vote for Danielle?!?!

7:52: Russell might have won this battle, but THERE IS NO CHANCE IN HELL that he's won the war. He's made a number of temporary allies...one problem, though - none of them like him! By my count, the only person that might even remotely be his ally is Jeri. Rupert might like him tonight, but that'll change once they get back to camp. Same with Colby. Sandra doesn't like him, and now Parvati will hate him. Who's left? Next week will be nothing if not entertaining, as all these separate mini-teams go head-to-head. Zany.

7:57: Oy - must come up with two questions for Travis now.

For Candice: Of all the people on the show this season, you appeared to be the most normal, the most down-to-earth, out there with so many loony personalities. Did it feel that way to you?

For Danielle: Who's your plastic surgeon? I want to be able to tell women who to avoid when they're considering breast augmentation. (Sorry, I couldn't resist.)

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