Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains Episode 8 Recap/Live Blog

I spoke about a letdown at the beginning of the last week, what with Russell's histrionics to stay in the game in episode six, but I have to make the same point again. This week is the one that really needs to avoid a letdown; with one of the two most interesting players in the game gone, what can the producers do to keep this from turning into The Russell Show? Don't get me wrong - the guy's great, but after a season and a half, an overload of the diminutive oil man is seemingly inevitable. Will Comeback Kid Colby continue his rise to prominence in the game? Will formerly invisible Courtney and/or Candace and/or Danielle step to the forefront? I'm ready to find out.

6:59: Coach just called the other members of his tribe a coward. That's effing rich, dipsh*t. You're the one who didn't have the cajones to vote for Russell. You're just as much to play for Rob being gone as the ones that voted for him. What an ass.

7:05: Nice acting by Colby to feign happiness for J.T. after he found the Hidden Idol. The Favre Clone needs it more than anyone else.

7:06: Not ten seconds after learning that J.T. has it, Candace is already plotting against him. Amazing how that happens.

7:08: Obviously, Parvati has no one honest with her in her life. All the time, she's whining about how she's a good person and doesn't understand why people think she's a villain and such. Honey, it's because you can't and/or don't smile genuinely...ever. You have the fakest separation of lips and exposed teeth I might've ever seen, and if you weren't remotely cute, people would think you were creepy and insane. Someone please teach this girl how to smile.

7:11: Survivor producers hate to be seen as predictable. They probably were scheduled to merge, but once they saw that the Villains were expecting one, they changed course. Jerks. Jeff just loves the chance to throw people off.

7:13: Woody Harrelson with one hand bowls better than these Villains. Despicable.

7:14: Coach needs to let his hair down to unleash his inner Lebowski here.

7:15: Told you, Coach. Calmer than you.

7:20: You know what one of my favorite parts of this season has been? The non-ridiculous tribe names: Heroes....and Villains. You know what's gonna stink? When they merge and force the merged tribe to come up with some retarded name. Let's start brainstorming names, ok? Hellains? Veroes? Herains? Villoes?

Yeah...definitely Villoes.

7:22: Boy, Jeri sure wants to go home, eh? Your team is already in the dumps, and you're gonna be a sourpuss to everyone the whole time, even talking sh*t about Sandra right to her face? Buh-bye.

7:23: Ha - Sandra's awesome! I have absolute faith that her plan will work. Russell's big ego will almost definitely win out over any Coach pleading of "I would never betray you blah blah loyalty warrior!"

7:27: I hate it whenever they show that island (you know, the small, beautiful one out in the ocean) that should be Exile Island, you know, if the E.I. idea weren't terrible.

7:30: In their minds, Russ and Parv have already won the game, it seems. Funny how that often doesn't work out. Let's file that scene away for future use.

7:31: First tribe to score two points? A whopping best-of-three? Don't drain the competitors too much there. Weak.

7:32: Note to Sandra: try some aerobic training before re-entering the game. Way to make my complaint about the shortness of the challenge look wrong. Jerk.

7:34: And once again, Colby will live to fight another day. The producer's goal of keeping their golden boy on the show lives on for at least another week.

7:39: I want to know how much weight Russ has lost in the last season and a half of Survivor - it's got to be 40-50 lbs., right?

7:40: Now, Sandra's not even a liar - Coach wants to get rid of Russell now. How prescient. The good news - the two people on the chopping block are Coach and Courtney, two of my least favorite people left. Though Coach is obviously much more entertaining; the Stick Figure is useless on all fronts.

7:45: Nice job by Jeff, starting off Tribal Council by subtly (or not so subtly) hinting that getting rid of all of the men was a bad idea, almost rooting for Courtney to be the next person voted out.

7:46: Of course, such comments from Jefe would be hated by me in the past, as I typically hate it when he steps over the line and becomes too big a part of the game. I realize this makes me a hypocrite, and I am completely okay with that.

7:49: I just realized Jeri's last name spells "Man They." I don't have much more to add about that right now.

7:50: Bye Courtney. (I wrote that before all of the names were read.) We won't miss you.

7:51: I shouldn't have. I was wrong. Well, at least we'll have Coach on the jury - still on the show in a small way. And that's really all we ever needed from Coach, as a dose of him goes a long way.

7:52: Alright, time for my Official Question Request. Wanna hear it, here it goes:

"Coach, did you ever seriously consider quitting the game? Because it seemed to us at home that you were on the verge of a nervous breakdown at times."

I know, more of a statement than a question, but it's all I got right now. It's either that or some kind of Steven Seagal jab.

7:56: Thought I was done, but not just yet. Let me get this straight: Russ and Bloated Boobs got into a heated argument over who should go home - Russ wanted to dump Coach and Boobs wanted to axe the weakest player, Courtney. Minutes later, Russ says "mea culpa, you were right, Boobs, we should vote off Court."

So what happens? Russ walked the talk and voted for Stick Figure. And Bloated Boobs? She votes for Coach! What the hell just happened? Should make for an interesting time next week.

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