Survivor: Samoa Episode 8 Recap/Live Blog

I don't know if it's just because I've had a busy week, but it feels like it's been two weeks since the last episode. Thankfully, it hasn't; it's just my memory that's going.

7:02: Russell is sleeping with his shoe acting as a pillow. Don't even let anyone tell you that Survivor is phony. If I never have to use my shoe as a pillow it will be too soon.

7:06: Laura (and her bolt-ons) is almost pretty, but there's something very skelton-y or something about her. And I find her really annoying. I know, this is the kind of insight you've come for here on the Survivor live blog. What can I say - we all know there's a merge happening; until a challenge or the merge actually happens, there's only so much of the Shambo-Laura Snip Fest that I can take.

7:07: Erik in his Tree Cave Hole! Take a shot!

7:09: Uh-oh, Jeff got his job outsourced once again. In other (totally unsurprising) news, the tribes have now merged. Let the show (and maybe strategy?!?) begin. Finally, now we might be able to learn about the members of Galu (or was it Foa Foa?).

7:11: As usual, Russell is the only one we hear talking about strategy post-merge. Shhhhhhhocking.

7:12: Before I forget, I'd like to remind you all to head to your local theaters this weekend and support Danger Dave's new movie, The Men Who Stare at Goats. Dave co-stars in this zany comedy with George Clooney, Jeff Bridges, and Ewan McGregor. A great time to be had for the entire family!

7:15: Time for a Brett Facial Hair Status Update! It is currently rated as "Not Quite Equal to a Hispanic Ten-Year Old." Congrats, Brett! In no time, you'll be upgraded to "Chin Pubes."

7:17: Aiga? Did I miss the new tribe naming? Where was the team-building exercise?

7:18: As it turns out, I totally missed it. I tell you, typing while watching might not be the best way to experience Survivor.

7:18: Oh...SaaaNAP! Did Laura just have the gall to not kiss Russell's ring? Consider her D-U-N in this little game. Turns out Laura might not be so dumb, letting Russ know that, contrary to his beliefs, he does not in fact hold any cards, trying to win at poker with a busted straight. Lucky for him, the "rocket scientist" and Monica aren't exactly brainiacs, as it seems as though they've bought his act hook, line and sinker. I have to say, I hope Russ's plan works, and not just because he's targeting Laura (though that ain't hurting).

7:25: I'm starting to get suspicious: either Russell is gonna succeed at whatever his plan is, or he's going home. The ENTIRE show has been about him thus far. I know he's interesting (compared to some of these stick figures) and all that, but c'mon, there are plenty of folks out there that we barely know. This is too much.

7:28: The players only get one swing in this Tee Ball Challenge? Weak. A strange bat, a foreign ball, a small course that is easily hit out of - give 'em three swings each, let 'em get a feel for the field, huh?

7:31: Nice to see that the ball is made of that most natural of island materials: painter's tape.

7:33: Russell's attempted marks - John and Laura - each win immunity. I must say, I'm disappointed - probably my two least favorite people there. Will this spell doom for the millionaire (snake) oilman?

7:40: Watch out, contestants - there's a new sheriff in town, and his name in Erik. There's some crazy scrambling going on at Chez Aiga tonight, as members of both former tribes have their heads all over the damn place trying to determine their battle plans for the next several tribal councils. John convinced Erik of his plan to flush Russell's idol out in order to go Monica >> Russell. Jaison (and much of the former) is now desperate to get Erik out of the game. Russell is clueless as to what's going on. Good God, man - we've got some strategizing going on! The only real downside? All this talk about/from Erik, and no sight of the Tree Cave Hole thing. My emotions are all over the place.

7:47: Erik might be being an ass (and sabotaging his own place in the game), but he's dead right about Jaison: he hasn't done a damn thing in this game. Success in the real world doesn't mean a goddamn thing in Survivor, friends - just ask the doctors and lawyers and former NFL quarterbacks that have been ousted solely because of their positions in life. Jaison's been mostly useless, and at this point, I can't say that I'd be sad to see him go. As for Erik - what with Russell's hero turn over the last several weeks, we could use a new villain (and of course, I need my Tree Cave Hole, but you already knew that).

7:50: This is easily the most exciting vote in years, and that includes final episodes. Okay, maybe that's slight hyperbole. But it's good, anyway.

7:52: Good for Russell. I think playing his hidden idol was a smart choice, and I think he'll be fine long-term in the game.

7:53: Ok, maybe playing the idol wasn't wise. And then again, maybe he won't be alright - he obviously hadn't a clue as to what was about to go down. Not a single vote for Russ thus far.

7:55: Meantime, Erik and my beloved TCH are gone! He's been BAMBOOZLED!

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