Survivor: Samoa Episode 2 Live Blog

7:08: Yasmin is busy not making friends with the audience. "The hood is not the wood." Good line, but bitching about how hard the outdoors is...on your SECOND day...just makes me want you to be gone immediately. Have you not watched the show? Are you not aware that it takes place, in large part, in jungles?!?

7:09: Russell just called Jaison "calm and collective." For all intensive purposes and all of the sudden, I find Russell even dumber, irregardless of what he says next.

7:11: Son of a mother^$#&@ b*tch! Russell of all people just found a hidden immunity idol. Kill me now. Then again, he immediately told the next person he could find (Jaison). Please be wise, Jaison, and tell everyone else immediately.

7:15: Am I the only one hoping for a Shaving Challenge, so that we can see if personal chef Mike has a harelip like his twin brother Jeffrey Tambor? It's Oscar! (Arrested Development reference; again, if you haven't seen it, do it now.)

7:17: Yay! Another challenge where people hurt each other! Great idea, Survivor; there's nothing better than watching otherwise good contestants being forced home because they have a potentially fatal leg infection.

7:21: If we didn't have enough reasons to hate Ben from last week, he outright kicks Good Russell in the shin, getting booted from the challenge, setting a new low for the show (though firefighter Joel was the standard bearer of such nasty play some seasons ago).

7:23: Way to redeem yourself, jackass. Called on his idiocy by Jeff, all Ben can say is "Outlaw!," clearly proud of his dirty play. I think the only way I might like would be if there were 20 idiots of the Ben/Bad Russell variety, in which case it would be nice to see them beat up on each other. That not being the case, I have nothing but disdain for Ben.

7:25: Wait a sec...ok, we've had two weeks' worth of challenges, and I don't believe I've heard the words "exile island" yet. Can it be? Is it finally dead? This almost makes up for the crap we just saw in the challenge. Almost. We have already been spared the lame plings and starbursts and slow motion the producers employed during the challenges, and now Exile Island is gone? If only the dreaded "Walk of the Dead" could be excised, we'd have almost nothing to complain about.

7:28: In the least surprising news ever, someone got hurt at the brutal challenge. This time, it was Jeffrey Tambor, who just so happens to be the oldest player in the game.

7:30: And just like that, Mike is gone, thanks to super low blood pressure (and a physical challenge with strapping young men half his age - or more). Hard to know if this was just a freak thing or if his health condition would have come up later, but...wow, just crappy news all around, made worse by the fact that we've just had a combined reward/immunity challenge and a player is already gone. There's a half hour left in the show...

7:33: Wow...Yasmin's got some cajones. Stranger in a new camp, she comes in and outright lectures the other team, telling Assface Ben "I want to talk to you in private." Hateable as she is, I'd love to see her try this sh*t in real life.

7:37: I have to hand it to Survivor. They give us the MOST HATED CONTESTANT OF ALL TIME last week in Bad Russell. The audience is speechless; we have no speech. Our mouths are agape at his willingness - hell, his joy at disrupting his own camp. So what happens next? We get a racist, cheap-shot giving, filterless clown named Ben that comes along and improbably (unbelievably) makes Russell seem likable by comparison. I'm impressed.

7:43: It's unfathomable that Betsy has to campaign for her own ass, and that these fools are even contemplating keeping Ben around, all for the beloved challenges, none of which they've won (I don't believe). Since when are all of the challenges physical, anyway? These people are so short-sighted.

7:46: "Whatever I want...happens." - Bad Russell. Let's just bookmark that quote for the future, in the hopes that we can play it on repeat when the opposite...happens.

7:48: "There was one...minor incident [between Ben and Yasmin]." Understatement of the century.

7:49: Notwithstanding his potential "alliance" with Bad Russell, Jaison might be my new favorite player. He's far and away the most logical, analytical, level-headed, common sensical player in the game. So refreshing.

7:51: Well, at least Ben is delusional, thinking his chances of winning the game are the same as when it started. Jeff...obviously not a fan of old Ben's. Unfortunately, it ain't gonna matter; these idiots are gonna vote out Betsy.

7:54: This is just dumb. I'm far from being biased toward the older folks, but this show needs to just stop putting anyone over age 40 on it anymore unless something changes. Those people are put at such a significant disadvantage that it makes little sense to even admit them to the game. An older cast member is almost always the first or second person voted off, and usually it's solely due to their age and/or age combined with sex. I've had it; I know life ain't fair, but this is just retarded. How do the producers not see this?

In case you couldn't tell, Betsy was voted out in a landslide. Lame.

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