Featured Posts

Sep 24, 2009

Survivor: Samoa Episode 2 Live Blog

7:08: Yasmin is busy not making friends with the audience. "The hood is not the wood." Good line, but bitching about how hard the outdoors is...on your SECOND day...just makes me want you to be gone immediately. Have you not watched the show? Are you not aware that it takes place, in large part, in jungles?!?

7:09: Russell just called Jaison "calm and collective." For all intensive purposes and all of the sudden, I find Russell even dumber, irregardless of what he says next.

7:11: Son of a mother^$#&@ b*tch! Russell of all people just found a hidden immunity idol. Kill me now. Then again, he immediately told the next person he could find (Jaison). Please be wise, Jaison, and tell everyone else immediately.

7:15: Am I the only one hoping for a Shaving Challenge, so that we can see if personal chef Mike has a harelip like his twin brother Jeffrey Tambor? It's Oscar! (Arrested Development reference; again, if you haven't seen it, do it now.)

7:17: Yay! Another challenge where people hurt each other! Great idea, Survivor; there's nothing better than watching otherwise good contestants being forced home because they have a potentially fatal leg infection.

7:21: If we didn't have enough reasons to hate Ben from last week, he outright kicks Good Russell in the shin, getting booted from the challenge, setting a new low for the show (though firefighter Joel was the standard bearer of such nasty play some seasons ago).

7:23: Way to redeem yourself, jackass. Called on his idiocy by Jeff, all Ben can say is "Outlaw!," clearly proud of his dirty play. I think the only way I might like would be if there were 20 idiots of the Ben/Bad Russell variety, in which case it would be nice to see them beat up on each other. That not being the case, I have nothing but disdain for Ben.

7:25: Wait a sec...ok, we've had two weeks' worth of challenges, and I don't believe I've heard the words "exile island" yet. Can it be? Is it finally dead? This almost makes up for the crap we just saw in the challenge. Almost. We have already been spared the lame plings and starbursts and slow motion the producers employed during the challenges, and now Exile Island is gone? If only the dreaded "Walk of the Dead" could be excised, we'd have almost nothing to complain about.

7:28: In the least surprising news ever, someone got hurt at the brutal challenge. This time, it was Jeffrey Tambor, who just so happens to be the oldest player in the game.

7:30: And just like that, Mike is gone, thanks to super low blood pressure (and a physical challenge with strapping young men half his age - or more). Hard to know if this was just a freak thing or if his health condition would have come up later, but...wow, just crappy news all around, made worse by the fact that we've just had a combined reward/immunity challenge and a player is already gone. There's a half hour left in the show...

7:33: Wow...Yasmin's got some cajones. Stranger in a new camp, she comes in and outright lectures the other team, telling Assface Ben "I want to talk to you in private." Hateable as she is, I'd love to see her try this sh*t in real life.

7:37: I have to hand it to Survivor. They give us the MOST HATED CONTESTANT OF ALL TIME last week in Bad Russell. The audience is speechless; we have no speech. Our mouths are agape at his willingness - hell, his joy at disrupting his own camp. So what happens next? We get a racist, cheap-shot giving, filterless clown named Ben that comes along and improbably (unbelievably) makes Russell seem likable by comparison. I'm impressed.

7:43: It's unfathomable that Betsy has to campaign for her own ass, and that these fools are even contemplating keeping Ben around, all for the beloved challenges, none of which they've won (I don't believe). Since when are all of the challenges physical, anyway? These people are so short-sighted.

7:46: "Whatever I want...happens." - Bad Russell. Let's just bookmark that quote for the future, in the hopes that we can play it on repeat when the opposite...happens.

7:48: "There was one...minor incident [between Ben and Yasmin]." Understatement of the century.

7:49: Notwithstanding his potential "alliance" with Bad Russell, Jaison might be my new favorite player. He's far and away the most logical, analytical, level-headed, common sensical player in the game. So refreshing.

7:51: Well, at least Ben is delusional, thinking his chances of winning the game are the same as when it started. Jeff...obviously not a fan of old Ben's. Unfortunately, it ain't gonna matter; these idiots are gonna vote out Betsy.

7:54: This is just dumb. I'm far from being biased toward the older folks, but this show needs to just stop putting anyone over age 40 on it anymore unless something changes. Those people are put at such a significant disadvantage that it makes little sense to even admit them to the game. An older cast member is almost always the first or second person voted off, and usually it's solely due to their age and/or age combined with sex. I've had it; I know life ain't fair, but this is just retarded. How do the producers not see this?

In case you couldn't tell, Betsy was voted out in a landslide. Lame.

Survivor news at Survivor.com
Survivor homepage at CBS.com

7 people have chosen wisely: on "Survivor: Samoa Episode 2 Live Blog"

Nick said...

I think you and I are on the same wavelength this season. Jaison is currently my favorite for the same reasons, and I think he's gonna get far. I also made mention to my mom tonight that Ben did make Bad Russell look good or entertaining in comparison, so it was funny you would say that.

However, I can't put all the blame on Ben during the Yasmin fight. She was being totally out of line, too. I disagreed with both of them, and racist comments aside, Ben had a point about what he was trying to say to Yasmin when she was being a biotch and calling him ignorant and not letting him talk. But then he lost his credibility after the argument when he went back to camp and started being all racist and whatnot. But during the argument itself, I mostly sided with him.

Nick said...

Oh, and I'm surprised you didn't make any comments on ShamWow's journey to the swamp.

Nick said...

Oh, and in a third post in a row, I wanted to mention... the look on Jeff's face when Ben told him that "I didn't know we were following your sissy rules" for the game was probably similar to the one I gave when he said it. Seriously... you don't say that to the guy who runs the game.

Fletch said...

Well, I think Yasmin was out of line for walking into that camp like she owned the place, but I didn't really have a problem with her in the Ben showdown, save for the fact that she just kept going with it. It was obvious *quickly* that he's a jackass and wasn't going to back down, so to perpetuate was pointless.

ShamWow's clearly not making friends and shant be long for the game, methinks. She's just an analog contestant in a digital game...or something like that. Boneheaded moves all around, though, by her.

Yeah, it'd be nice to see Jeff unleash on these idiots a bit more, at least when they're deserving. But he's usually pretty good about staying out of the game (when not asking too many probing questions at Tribal).

Anonymous said...

I liked how you called Russell a moron then used "irregardless" in the next sentence, I hope that was intentional.

And Ben and Russ are cool, you guys need to learn to appreciate a good villian, calling out Probst for his sissy rules was classic, and finding the immunity idol before any clues was priceless, and shows how predictable the show has become with the same retarded "twists" every season. Just go back to season 1 rules if theyre too stupid to think of anything original. Agreed on Yasmin being loud and annoying though.


Fletch said...

"I liked how you called Russell a moron then used "irregardless" in the next sentence, I hope that was intentional."

Jeez - that's twice already I've heard that (once was in person).

I also used "for all intensive purposes" and "all of the sudden." Each was in response to Russ saying "calm and collective." Sometimes, I'm just way too many steps ahead of everyone.

Hey, I'm the first person to say to my family, "Hey, you don't want crackhead Shane to be voted off because the show will be boring once he's gone." I can see this with Bad Russ, but not with that Ben. Tell me you wouldn't hate that prick in real life; you'd love to clock him. He's not a villain, he's just an ass. There's a difference.

Good call on giving multiple propers to Bad Russ on finding the Idol, though. Good on him. Even though I wasn't happy to see HIM get it, I appreciate his strategery.

See what I did there?

Robb said...

Officer Betsy was my favorite, and I agree on all counts for Douche Russell and Used-Douche Ben. I have little patience for either of them, but I do appreciate the early find of the idol, which at least qualifies as interesting. Will Yasmin have the brains to look for it back at her own camp as well? Doubt it. (What was Good Russell thinking sending her? Did he just want to get rid of her for a day? lol) She and Shambo are gonna battle it out for first to be voted off. Too many losers so far, not enough heroes. You need a balance.