The State of the Cabins (6/2/10)

Movies watched for the first time (non-theatrically) since last week:
* Land of the Lost - As mentioned previously, I have this habit of recording fair/bad movies to watch during times when I may or may not be sleepy. I feel compelled to see them, and sadly, I'd rather watch them than one of the many "classic" films already sitting on my DVR. Yes, I have a problem.

LOTL is just the latest example. I had to see how bad Will Ferrell's cover of the TV show was. And boy did it live up to the advance billing. Now, the TV show was no great masterpiece, what with the cheesy effects, bad acting and men in rubber suits hissing a lot. But c'mon - did the lowest common denominator have to be used in every instance? I'm wondering if I can't lay some of the blame on Jorma Taccone (what a name, eh?), who played Chaka here, and most recently directed MacGruber (he's also a longtime SNL writer). Grubes played to the LCD at every available opportunity, but a) at least some of it was funny and b) it wasn't a remake of a Saturday's morning children's show.

Yet there's the lovable, used-to-be-a-child Chaka groping Holly within seconds of their meeting. And, hehehe, look at the giant mosquito thing on Ferrell's neck! HI-larious! And the major plot point regarding dino-poop - my knees hurt from all the slappifying.

The only funny parts? The opening and closing scenes involving Matt Lauer. I think that says it all.

* 44 Inch Chest - Like I told Steve and Brian on Sunday as we started talking about this movie, "I was a big fan of your show until you had me watch this...now, I think we might have to re-evaluate our relationship."

"From the writers of Sexy Beast," says the DVD cover of 44 Inch Chest. On top of that, it co-stars two of the main guys from Beast, Ian McShane and Ray Winstone. So going in, you'd think you knew what you were getting into.

So much for expectations.

If you're looking for a boring, stagey, all-talk-and-no-action movie featuring weak and blatant attempts to curse as creatively and repetitively as possible, this is your movie (you cunting sh#% f$$k!). If you're looking for a narrative, good writing, characters that you give a shit about, or productions values beyond what I might be able to make with a $20,000 budget, look elsewhere.

The only bright spot is McShane, and he's not in it nearly enough to make it worth your while.

Music I'm currently obsessed with:
I need your help. Instead of listening to shitloads of new music this week, I've been in a funk, saddened by the shuttering of my beloved Lala.com, which Apple purchased a ways back. Instead of furthering this fledgling site, they decided it was competing with iTunes, I suppose, though I've heard rumblings that the takedown of Lala is a sign that iTunes will finally be moving into the cloud and away from being software. Let's hope so.

In the meantime, I want to know: what music service do you listen to? Likes? Dislikes? Cost? All that jazz. Lala was great (in my eyes) for what it offered: upon signing up, you received credits for 50 "web" songs (read: non-downloadable) that you could listen to as much as you want via their site. Additionally, you could listen to every song on their site once for free - after that, you could either listen to a 30-second sample or purchase a version of it (web or MP3). A great way to experiment and bounce around all styles and such risk-free. I know other services are somewhat similar, but not quite the same - which do you like best?

Book I'm currently reading:
The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest arrived yesterday. Booyah. Will be starting it tomorrow.

And then...

TGITDNMAR (6/5/09)

It's that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released.

Are you a sports fan? No? Well tough, this is my blog and I'm gonna use this space to make a little rant right here.

Over the past few weeks and months, I've toyed with the idea of setting up a blog called Instant History. See, during that time, there have been a few events (the Bulls-Celtics series, LeBron James' Game 2 ending 3-pointer) that have made many in the media go batsh*t crazy, calling whatever just happened "the best ____ to ever happen!"

February's Super Bowl between the Cardinals and the Steelers? You guessed it - possibly the best ever! George W. Bush? "The worst President ever!" Some random performance by a golfer shooting 60 - best ever!

Now I'm no historian, and as you might tell by my movie tastes, I'm certainly not one of those people that claims that everything that happened in the past is better just because it happened in the past. Fact is, these things were made for arguing - no one can ever be right because I'm afraid we can't actually have a 30-year old Michael Jordan and today's Kobe Bryant go out on the court and play one-on-one. Just like no one can honestly say if one series of seven NBA playoff games played in 2009 is better than some series played in 1982, or whatever. So why the endless hyperbole and focus on whatever the flavor of the month is? Up may be great, but I better not hear anyone calling it the "best animated movie ever" (or even in Pixar's oeuvre), without at least a few years in which to give perspective. Just call it really good and get it over with.

The latest chapter in this annoying saga is different, but still the same. The San Francisco Giants Randy Johnson just won his 300th game yesterday, becoming just the 24th pitcher in major league history to do so. Truly an impressive feat, and something that's happened only a handful of times over the last few decades. Helping those dwindling numbers is the style of baseball played over that time, in which we've seen starting pitchers throw for fewer overall starts and fewer innings per start. Not many current active players are projected to even come close to 300 wins, much less reach it.

So what does this mean? Obviously, according to several sources, that WE WILL NEVER SEE ANOTHER 300 GAME WINNER!

Really?? Never? Are you sure you want to use that word? Be my guest and say something along the lines of "it's likely that we won't see another player reach 300 wins in our lifetime." That's perfectly plausible, if not likely. But never's a mighty long time, and the arrogance it takes to claim that something will never be seen again, just because the current landscape doesn't project it, appalls me. Who's to say that baseball doesn't at some point revert back to a 4-man rotation, thus giving pitchers 5-8 more starts per year? Who's to say that average pitch counts don't rise up yet again when someone realizes that "100 pitches" means nothing in terms of long-term pitcher health when compared to, say, 125 pitches? Who's to say that MLB doesn't (god forbid) lengthen the season to 184 games in 2085? And, most likely (and the thing I'd really like to see), who's to say that some phenom (perhaps the one getting a ton of buzz for the 2009 draft) doesn't barnstorm through MLB hitters like Tiger Woods did the PGA and win 20 games a year for his first 7 years?

No one knows the future. Truth is, we MIGHT NEVER SEE ANOTHER 250 GAME WINNER! But I sure as hell don't want to make that claim with the only assurance I have being that no one will remember what I wrote and when I wrote it. Why are so many others so quick to?

And hey - no stealing my Instant History blog idea - that thing's gold.

END rant. On to the movies!

Land of the Lost
Ahh...memories. It seems like forever ago that I wrote this short post about Land of the Lost. In fact, it was one of the first posts here at Blog Cabins. That post wasn't even about the movie (though there was a mention of it), as it was only in pre-production at the time. Now, here we are some two and a half years later and the film is upon us.

Frankly, my optimism has tempered. I recall reading early on that they were "gonna take it seriously" and not camp it up. Judging by the trailer, which shows an adult Chaka squeezing the boobs of co-star Anna Friel, I don't think I believe them. It might still be funny, but it seems clear to me that Ferrell and Co. are laughing at their source material as much as they're laughing with it.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 38%

Away We Go
First things first - yes, John Krasssinjgqenski looks awful with that beard. Like they're trying to make him look homelier and poorer than his character is already supposed to be. The giants "50s teacher" glasses aren't helping him, either.

But I digress - along with (500) Days of Summer, this is my "most looking forward to" indie of the, um, summer. Funny, touching, twisted, and Maggie Gyllenhaal will likely cement herself as one of my favorite comedic actresses...if only she did more comedies. You can take your Anna Faris - I'll take Maggie; that stroller line is hilarious.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 96%

The Hangover
What's the deal with beards this week? In addition to Krasinski, the harder-last-name-to-spell Zack Gallaphoneaxis sports quite the bushy monstrosity in The Hangover. Does this mean that Katie Holmes will be making a cameo in Land of the Lost or something?

Thank you, thank you - I'll be here all week. Sorry, that joke just never gets old no matter how bad it is.

Anyway, however poignant and sadly funny that Away We Go might end up being, The Hangover is hands down this week's pick. Zack Galifianakis, Ed Helms and Bradley (don't call me Brad) Cooper look pretty funny each in their own right (especially Zack), but the circumstances these poor guys are dropped into look to take it over the top. As a BIG bonus, Ken Jeong (Knocked Up, Role Models) is on hand as well, and I'm pretty sure he's incapable of not being funny.

The only danger? There was another out-there, no rules, Vegas-based, buddy black comedy some years back and it stunk. Don't even try to be that person that tells me that Very Bad Things was good.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 100%

My Life in Ruins
I tell you what - I'll go ahead and see this seven years after I see My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Deal?

P.S. - please say a prayer for Richard Dreyfus. Somehow he's in this. I'm guessing he lost a big poker hand to the studio chief in charge of production or he's trying to get (a comparatively hot) Nia Vardalos into the sack. Either way, just sad, and I don't even like Dreyfus.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 0%

And then...

Land of the Comedy

Some coworkers and I were discussing some inane pop culture recently (as we often do, as you might guess) and somehow the topic of the mid-70s TV show Land of the Lost came up. In case you're too young or just unlucky enough to have never seen the show, it originally aired from 1974-77, with a run of 43 episodes.

I implore you to go here and make your way around (specifically to the Sounds section). How this show was ever popular is a mystery to me, but I'm glad that it was so that it could be an unintentional comedy goldmine some 30 years later. Additionally, YouTube has some tremendous videos from the show (though not nearly enough). Word from the LOTL website is that there will even be a movie version (possibly starring Will Ferrell) in 2008.

Here is a snippet of the show, courtesy of YouTube:



If you aren't down with the comedic stylings of Chaka, Grumpy and the Sleestaks, then I just don't know if I can be friends with you.

And then...