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May 13, 2010

Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains Episode 13 Recap/Live Blog

So...will this be the week that Russ finally gets ousted? My bet is no - I think he makes the final three, yet loses again. Then again, I'm not so sure my prediction percentage in the history of this show is all that great. We shall see.

7:00: I'm not positive, but I think that tree over there just gave Russ a dirty look. Expect the tree to be voted off at the end of tonight's show.

7:03: Parvati with a Goonies reference, screaming out "Hey, you guuuuuys!" I gotta admit, she just earned some brownie points with me.

7:04: You'll have to excuse me for a moment, I just got a call on my non-existent Sprint Palm Pre that I just dreamed I owned. Don't worry, I'll SPRINT right back to watch some player put this game in the PALM of their hand and win. PREemptively.

7:06: Yay! Russell didn't cry.

7:07: Colby sure did, though. And Rupert's had the waterworks going for hours now, I think. Nothing worse than a blubbering, stinky pirate.

7:08: I think Sandra's uncle is about three years older than her. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

7:09: The blowholes? Or the SPRINT PALM PRE blowholes? I'm only going if it's the latter.

7:11: Sandra's cheating - using some strange dialect to communicate with her uncle. Of course, it's not helping at all. Meanwhile, Colby's having bad memories of his childhood or something, bitching and moaning at his brother the whole time. Remember, his brother's only duty in this challenge was to hold a bucket and catch the water that Colby threw at him. If the throw was weak...obviously, his brother was to blame.

7:13: I'm pretty sure I made the same observation years ago, but Parv's dad looks just enough like Joe Montana for it to bother me.

7:16: You're not gonna believe this, but the winner of that Reward Challenge (Jeri) and the people she took along with her (Sandra and Parv) get to - or have to, rather - take the SPRINT PALM PRE along with them to document their trip. I wonder if we'll get to watch the highlights later on CBS.com. We can only hope...

7:18: Interesting. The producers paid some old "native" guy to come out and show the players the time-tested tradition/game of throwing coconuts into the blowholes (which, admittedly, are cool as hell) so they can watch them get shot in the air a hundred feet. Yeah, I'm sure that was just a coincidence.

7:19: Parvati: "Honestly, the best part of the trip was that Jeri had that Sprint phone yada yada yada..." Cue eye rolls aplenty from your host.

7:21: Sure seems like this is shaping up to be a men vs. women final to tonight's episode. We know Sandra already has an idol; the winner of the next challenge is huge.

7:23: Rupert really has lost a ton of weight. He actually almost looks fit and trim. I'm seriously impressed.

7:24: Call me crazy, but it didn't seem like Colby was all that hip to Russell's guys' alliance idea. Though Colby hasn't exactly been all that responsive to anything this season, so who the hell knows what he's thinking?

7:27: Rupe with a nice display of passive-aggressiveness, being an ass making a shitton of noise while the rest of the tribe attempts to sleep. What the hell is he thinking?

7:30: Pardon me, I need to recyclye a comment from last week:

"Ok, as much as I have professed love for these types of challenges that test stamina and will, I must say that I'm getting just a tad sick of all these recycled challenges. They're good challenges, but c'mon, it's a bit much."

7:31: Colby continues his streak of inexplicably sucking ass at the challenges! It's as if he's purposely trying to make people think he's not a physical threat. Is he hustling everyone or is he just awful? Hustling them would be a hell of a move, but I just don't think he's that clever.

7:33: No wonder Rupert's lost so much weight - when it gets to these challenges, he just drips buckets of sweat. It's really kind of amazing. I think he lost two pounds in 17 minutes.

7:35: Well, with a Parvati win, she ain't going home. Nor is Sandra. There goes Russell's master plan. So who does the "guys alliance" go after? Will Russ be more loyal to Jeri or Colby and Rupe? History tells us that he'll go with whoever gives him the biggest ego stroke. Of course, if any of these people had a clue, they'd band together and take him out.

7:40: And there's our answer. Russ sees getting rid of Rupert as his best chance of staying in the game. Will the Magic Man work it again? Of course, helping him is Rupert's naivete this time around, as Rupe immediate told him that Sandra has a target on his back.

7:42: Within the last two minutes, it's become almost abundantly clear that Russell is going home, if not at least in danger. Sandra and Parv are showing the least bit of tact or fear in the face of the mighty Russell, pissing him off in the process. Little does he know that Sandra has an idol.

7:44: Of course! Not two seconds after I type that does Sandra say "Yeah, I've got an idol, and today's the last time I can use it. I might bring it to Tribal Council, but I might not." You f#&%ing idiot. God, I hope you go home. Anyone with that kind of hubris deserves to be voted out.

7:48: My biggest question: will Colby slip through yet another Tribal Council unscathed? Will the producers win again? Book it! The guy's made of butter.

7:50: Sandra shows some brains and plays the idol. Good for her. I'm sticking with my hunch that Russell is going home; I'm pretty sure Rupert just voted for him.

7:51: Or not. Bye, Rupert.

7:52: Ever the dork, Rupe leaves, but before he does he stares down Russell for a solid three seconds, giving him a lame pirate scowl. Here's a quarter, Rupe, call someone who cares (yes, that was just a weak attempt to shoehorn in yet another SPRINT PALM PRE reference, even though it doesn't even make sense with the whole quarter/cell phone thing. Just go with it, people.).

7:53: Oh, and it should be noted that Colby is the last remaining Hero in the game.

7:55: Finally, my Official Question Request for Rupert via Travis:

"Any plans to shave the beard and/or cut the hair? How much would it cost to get you to do either?"

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6 people have chosen wisely: on "Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains Episode 13 Recap/Live Blog"

Nick said...

Travis: I posed a pre-emptive question for Rupert weeks ago, figuring he'd get voted out sooner. I'm not sure if you wrote it down, but it was something along the lines of "Have you ever thought of being in movies, especially with genres like pirate movies?"

Buffett35 said...

Why does Sandra deserve to be voted out for her "hubris," but not Russell? I thought it was hilarious when she and Parvati were mocking him. Who the f**k does he think he is threatening people?? I would have laughed in his face too. Maybe his alliance was too powerful to mess with him a few weeks ago, but with 6 people left, he's the idiot. If he does make the final 3, he'll be lucky to get a single vote from that jury.

Buffett35 said...

By the way, as I'm sure you noticed, she was right about not needing to use the idol. Rup was going home anyway.

Fletch said...

There's a difference between being a vain jackass and stupidly assuming that your place in the game is solid. Moreover, there's NO REASON TO NOT play the idol. Whenever it's the last opportunity to play it and someone even thinks about not playing it, I want them to go home. No one's ever safe in this game, and to be so gutsy and stupid as to think "nah, I don't need to play it" - that just irks me. You might not need to at all, but it's idiotic not to.

I thought it was hilarious when they were mocking him, too, which is what made me start to think he was on the outs.

Buffett35 said...

I disagree that there's no reason not to play it. It PROBABLY won't make any difference, but the fact that she was hiding it from everyone could potentially change someone's opinion of her. Had she not played it, they never would have known.

Also, I'm pretty sure she was just being a smart-ass when she said she might not play it. I'm predicting we get our first ever 2-time winner this season (now that there's a 40% chance of that happening).

Nick said...

If Sandra wins, or even makes it to the final 3, I will be pissed. I can't stand her whatsoever. I wanna see Russell and 2 others... I don't care who those 2 others are, as long as one of them isn't Sandra.

In fact, at this point, I wouldn't mind seeing Russell, Parvati, and Colby, mostly so people can bash Colby for being incompetent this season and so Russell and Parvati can go at each other's throats when they're asked the question about "Why do you think the other people here don't deserve the money and you do?"