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Oct 17, 2008

Survivor: Gabon - Episode 5 Recap

I don't know how to write this without it seeming like I'm still in slack-off mode from yesterday. Please - don't blame me, blame CBS. Or blame Jeff Probst. Or Sarah Palin. Really, anyone but me.

After all, how can I adequately write a recap of last night's episode when it was a virtual carbon copy of the last two episodes?

Fang (pronounced however the hell people want to anymore) losing every possible challenge? Check. Azucar being sent to Exile Island yet again? Check. "GC" acting like an infant anytime anyone "tells" him to do something? Check.

What's left to tell? Well, GC's disappearing act was interesting; I wish he would have missed the Immunity Challenge - the thought of Probst doing roll call and pulling a Ben Stein when GC's name came up makes me smile. But alas, the big baby showed up to camp just in time to leave for the challenge.

The challenge itself was a travishamockery, though the players weren't at fault. Instead, the designers were squarely to blame. Each team had three roles: goalies, callers, and throwers. The throwers had to toss a wooden stick ball down a hill, over some obstacles, and hopefully into one of several goals. The goalies were blindfolded and were directed where to run to be the callers. The problem? There were five rounds, and at the start of each round, the goalies were brought to the far left of what must have been a 50-yard course, and with the tossing of each ball, were promptly instructed by their callers to sprint 30 yards to their right, with the balls often rolling past them even further still to the right. The people were already blindfolded! Did they really need the added difficulty of jogging across half the course before stopping to hear more orders? It's not as though, had they been positioned in the middle, they would have stopped everything coming towards them because, remember, they're blindfolded. Decent idea, awful execution.

After Fang lost - of course - it was the GC show, as the maintenance supervisor decided that he'd had enough of this terrible game and was set to quit. Of course, the producers tried to throw us a curveball by making us think that Crystal, Ken, et al might try to throw Azucar a curveball by attempting to oust her hidden immunity idol. Once again, the show allows the contestants to search through other contestants belongings (wrong wrong wrong) and, once again, the idiot that had the hidden immunity idol did nothing to ensure that it stayed hidden. I'd keep the damn thing in my shorts, but barring that, at least hide it somewhere around camp that's not in your bag. Dumb dumb dumb.

Of course, that was all a smokescreen. Azucar received no votes, and GC pulled off the "I'm quitting but I'm not quitting" routine that we've seen so many times as he was voted off. Good riddance.

Survivor producers - you're on notice. Please please please stop allowing people onto your show that end up quitting. Maybe they should be subjected to sleep and/or food deprivation prior to the show's start? I don't care what you need to do, just do it, because it's a slap in the face to all the people that tried out and would have stuck with it but weren't selected.

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8 people have chosen wisely: on "Survivor: Gabon - Episode 5 Recap"

Jess said...

To the people who speak the language for real, it's pronounced "FONG" or "FahNG" (same sound different spelling). I actually did wildlife surveys in Gabon in local Fang villages with interpreters. The interpreters spoke to the locals in Fang, to me in French, and then I had to transcribe the notes in English...ah, another life.

Fletch said...

I was just giving the members of the Fang tribe trouble because, despite the fact that Jeff told them it was called "fong" from the start, some continue to pronounce it "fang."

By the way, Mrs. Fletch will now be jealous of you. Did you see many gorillas?

Jess said...

No, no gorillas in person, but lots of chimpanzees in the trees, and more than comfortable number of elephants. I don't know if they'll ever let the Survivors go to the coast, but the Pongara National Park is probably the most beautiful place on earth.

Robb said...

Dude. Ace got HIT IN THE FACE with a pineapple. What more do you need? You, Sir, are just being greedy after the genius of last season.

Otherwise your assessment of the episode is pretty much on target. I do agree that they shouldn't be allowed to search people's things. I also agree that people shouldn't be so stupid to keep secrets in their things.

And yes, GC is the lamest since Osten, although Fairplay pulled the same lameness last season too, and that turned out ok.

steel11kane said...

I wrote my thoughts on this past episode.

it still bewilders me that after 17 seasons people can still be so stupid about their votes.

It really wouldn't matter if they kept GC along for the ride - except they might need a little more Advil.

Nick said...

Yeah... it was hilarious that Ace got hit in the face like... 2 or 3 different times throughout the episode. I know one was a pineapple and another was a shield. Maybe that was it. But it was still funny.

And the whole elephant scene was pretty cool.

Nayana Anthony said...

Is it wrong that I kind of like Sugar? Though I have no idea what she's going to do now that everyone knows about the idol. Dumb move for sho.

Robb said...

Its not wrong to like Sugar. I like her too, even though she is a terrible player. Some people are just likable. Some, like Ace, just aren't. Which is why we are happy when they get a pineapple to the face. ::grin::