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May 12, 2008

Imagining more sequels that will never happen...

(For past installments of this feature, click here.)

The setup: It's a favorite pastime of mine to come up with sequel names for movies that will either never be made due to performance, critical response, or just because of their subject matter. A long time ago, Premiere magazine had a feature where they did this (minus the awesome MS Paint work done on the posters, as seen below). Anyway, here's the latest batch:

Future sequels: Where She Move. Who She Move. What She Move. I look forward to not seeing all of them.















I could have gone with Little Woman here, but that's to close to the literary classic. Besides, I really can't wait for Littlest Man. Where would they go after that?














This one, on the other hand, could go forever. I'm sure Jamie Kennedy hopes it does.















My MS Paint skillz are so tight, and your caring towards the actual Meet Dave movie so low, that you probably didn't even notice that I added a third "Eddie Murphy" title and a second "mini-Murphy. Yea, I'm that damn good.











In which our quirky couple makes a Broadway musical. Though you'll have to wait for the third to actually see the musical. It's title? Fee Times a Mady.












For sure. Possibly.

















Damn - I'm a day late for Mother's Day on this one. As if they'd make a sequel to a movie called The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, though....


18 people have chosen wisely: on "Imagining more sequels that will never happen..."

Nick said...

I'm sure Motherhood of the Traveling Pants would include having to add that ever-so-annoying elastic band to the waist-line... and then they can do a Juno crossover where she gets pregnant a second time (after Prom) but decides to keep the baby this time. It could be called "Juno and the Motherhood of the Traveling Pants."

Daniel G. said...

LOL, this is your best installment yet, Fletch. Great picks!

SizzlingPopcorn.com Admin said...

I like it Fletch! It's hilarious and gave me a good laugh!

SizzlingPopcorn.com Admin said...

I have one for you....Mona Lisa Smile's sequel...Mona Lisa Laughs

Fletch said...

Nick - Motherhood of the Sweat Pants? ;) Like the elastic-waist band idea.

Thanks, Dan.

Great one there, Sizzling. Mona Lisa LOL

Jason Soto said...

You know what's depressing? One of the writers of Meet Dave is Bill "Crow/Brain Guy" Corbitt from MST3K and now Rifftrax fame. It was originally titled Starship Dave and I'm sure he and his writing partner didn't picture Eddie Murphy in this role. Such is the ways of Hollywood...
-Jason

WaywardJam said...

Dunno which was better, Fee Times a Mady or almost, positively, definitely, maybe

Awesome!

Joe said...

Hahaha... I love this. Wish I had thought of something like this!

Anonymous said...

Were you being sarcastic about the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants sequel? Because they did make one, as I found out while randomly watching trailers on IMDb. The title's not as creative as yours though.

Fletch said...

Jason - yeah, that has to be disappointing for him. Look - it's Pluto Nash 2!

Wayne, Joe - gracias.

Anon - yea, I was being sarcastic. In the short history of this feature, the last one has been sort of a joke. In this case, I just liked my title for a sequel better.

What a crappy, unoriginal title they came up with, though I understand to some extent: most sequels these days either go with a new name altogether or toss a colon on there and add a subtitle of sorts. In the case of Sisterhood, there's no way they could have done that, as the original title was already a mile long. Still, Motherhood is waiting. ;)

Tully Moxness said...

I've got a 100% for the sequels that will never happen file: Speed Racer 2

Fox said...

Totally brill! Nice job. And you made me laugh out loud with the *Twice* poster.

At least in *Motherhood of the Traveling Pants*, I wouldn't have to feel guilty for staring at Blake Lively and Alexis Bledel.

Dave said...

Great posters Fletch! Almost, Positively, Definitely, Maybe is sure to come out some day. I have heard nothing about the second Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. I am assuming it was terrible.

Mikey Filmmaker said...

I can't wait for Twice.

JOSEPH CAMPANELLA said...

To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar: The Heretic

TO WONG FOO, THANKS FOR EVERYTHING, JULIE NEWMAR 2: THE HERETIC

Great Post....

luke h. said...

I FORGOT WHO KILLED ME
2 SEX 2 CITY
BATMAN BEGINS...AGAIN
ATONEMENT 2: REDEMPTION
AVPNC17

...all too obvious? Meh...I'm running on two hours of sleep and I didn't want to miss out on all the fun. :)

Fletch said...

Love "2 Sex 2 City," Luke. Atonement 2 has promise as well. "The Revenge," perhaps?

lucky said...

Nice blog. Thats all.