TGITDNMAR (11/2/07)

It's that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released.

A slightly busier week this week with three major releases, but still pretty slow going at the theaters. On the bright side, two of them are high profile films, so we've got that going for us, which is nice. As for the third? Well, read on...

American Gangster
This has all the ingredients to be a critical and commercial smash hit, but for some reason, I'm just not feeling it, though I'll definitely see it and hope to be proven wrong. With Crowe, Washington, Ridley Scott, a strong supporting cast (Chiwetel Ejiofor, Ted Levine, Josh Brolin, Common), and that most American of tales (organized crime!), this does seem like a can't miss, but it's still ground that has been tread to death over the last 40 years, so originality seems unlikely.
Fletch’s Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 56%

Bee Movie
If you've seen the trailer for Bee Movie, then you already know what I do - this is the best Renee Zellweger has looked in years. Finally, the audience won't be subjected to a squinty face with giant cheeks and lips full of too much botox. Renee - get some glasses and stop making the pouty face and you might be seen as halfway attractive again. You're scaring the children.

Children, though, are not the intended audience for Bee Movie, as it seems. With a who's-who role call of Hollywood lending their voice, Jerry Seinfeld's pet project has a ton of clout behind it. Amongst the names contributing: Chris Rock, Matthew Broderick, Ray Liotta, Oprah Winfrey, Larry King, Sting, Kathy Bates, Rip Torn and so on. This has been over-hyped, so the expectations are high - I'm willing to try it out.
Fletch’s Chance of Viewing: 41%

Martian Child

The new century has not been kind to John Cusack. 1999 brought us his last great film, the magnificent Being John Malkovich. The true final year of the 20th century (2000) brought us his last very good movie in the form of High Fidelity. Since then? Crap on a stick, for the most part; a laundry list of critical and/or commercial failures, from America's Sweethearts to Identity to Must Love Dogs to The Ice Harvest. Then again, he still pretty much looks like John Cusack (if a bit bloated), whereas his sis (and Martian Child co-star) looks like she aged 30 years over the last 10. I like you Joan, but what the hell happened?

Anyway, this film would get trounced this weekend even if it didn't look somewhat "meh," but it does. It's dead in the water. John, maybe you could give Savage Steve Holland a call?

"Two dollars!"

Fletch’s Chance of Viewing: 4%