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Sep 27, 2007

Survivor: China - Episode 2 Recap

Things we learned from the second episode of Survivor: China:

* Dave (occupation: Former Model) is an annoying jackass.

What a 180 I've turned since wishing him well while squaring off against Wrassler' Ashley. Before the opening credits rolled, Dave (occupation: Former Model) managed to condescend, patronize and generally made a donkey out of himself. His "leadership" skills consisted of barking out orders, being dismissive of others' ideas, and even standing apart form the group while making his commands. The only thing missing was an elevated podium, as he sure felt bigger and better than his tribe mates.

* Jean-Robert (not actually French) is either the best Survivor player ever or one of the worst.

Monsieur Jean-Robert managed to make the sloths that often appear in the transitional shots appear to be harder workers than a bartender on Cinco De Mayo. I've never seen someone have to rest from all the time they spent resting before. And his explanation (paraphrased as usual)? "I'm being lazy so they think I'm hard working when I do any shred of work later on." He also managed to boast again about his poker skills and how they were helping him. If this guy were nude and gay (and likable), he might be the new version of Richard Hatch.

* DJ Jesus has a plumbing problem and eats paper for sustenance.

While fretting over the lack of food, Leslie was brought to tears during a confessional session. The cure for her hunger, according to her? Her bible. The Lord works in mysterious ways, indeed. In other DJ Jesus news, she was given a clue to the hidden immunity idol, which she immediately shared with Stewardess Todd (whom she had formed an alliance with earlier, along with Johnny Utah the Surfing Instructor). I'm dying to see her reaction when she learns of Todd's sexual orientation. Let's just say that I'll bet money it won't be a positive one.

* There are only six contestants on the show at this point.

Except for the rare case where the producers throw us a curveball, the episodes are too predictable. Want to know who's not getting voted off during any given episode? Just pay attention to who's not featured. Musician Erik managed to get a sentence or two on the air, as did Amanda, but I can't say that I know enough about either of them (or a number of other contestants) to even mock them. I know - it's only an hour show. Still, it's weird how half the cast is virtually invisible for episodes at a time.

* James, heretofore known as John Coffey (see The Green Mile), is stronger than Frosti (the Snowman) and Dave (occupation: Former Model).

Just seeing if you're still paying attention. Both of the challenges were wildly physical, and to no one's surprise, hulking superhero James dominated. While both challenges had some creativity in their design (the giant rolling balls in the Reward Challenge and the battering ram in the Immunity Challenge), they were both lackluster in terms of execution. Both were predominantly made up of brute force, with a bit of mud thrown in. Meh.

* The Crouching Tiger tribe (the losing one) is chock full of bad decision makers.

For the second straight week, the Tigers voted off the wrong person. While Wrassler' Ashley looks like a fool with her lip hula hoops and watermelon chest, she was nowhere near as deserving of being snuffed out as the Former Model. Apparently, Dave has more of a hold on the tribe than we are being shown. Chicken says:

"DAMN!!"


Survivor: China homepage at CBS.com


8 people have chosen wisely: on "Survivor: China - Episode 2 Recap"

Robb said...

Yes, I agree, and yes again.

As for the invisible contestants, somehow that usually clears up a bit by episode five, though there are often one of two that manage to be so boring the producers ignore them throughout.

I'm intrigued by your idea that Leslie is unaware of Todd's Gay Mormonness. They've had several gay guys who could pass on this show, but he isn't really one of them in my eyes. I was thinking she was either non-judgemental or willing to deal with the devil to win, either of which is an acceptable strategy in my book. But if you are right, that could make for some interesting television on the big reveal day. ::grin:: Prediction: tears and more missing of her Bible.

At this point I still rely on made-up names for everyone. I have no idea who Musician Eric is.

Fletch said...

Haha - musician Erik is actually just that: a musician named Erik. I didn't use too much creativity there.

I would think it would be known that stewardess Todd was out, but he's not totally flaming or anything. It might depend on how long he's there for, but I would imagine that that HAS to come up at some point. I certainly don't want to say that all christians hate gays, but it's not like I'm making up the inference in my head.

Dog said...

Do you know any hard-core christians that DON'T hate gay people? I predict a clash on an upcoming Survivor episode...

Livingsword said...

Dave is a lousy leader…so are they going to change leaders? Probably not, being a leader is so very dangerous, tall daisy’s always get cut down, with the single exception of Brain winner of Survivor Thailand.

Ashley being voted off was very predictable, Dave is a bad leader but is a work horse around camp. Ashley did nothing.

Jean-Robert is an interesting wild card, but I think he will be gone much before the end. Survivor is very different form poker, Survivor is about Surviving relationships.

Leslie was referring to her Bible being as important to her as food, she was talking about spiritual food (A Biblical phrase), but I see how her whimpering would bother some.

Since Todd is openly and clearly gay, and clearly Mormon (I think he may be the second gay Mormon on Survivor) Leslie would seem pretty foolish if she didn’t notice. It seems to me (I could be wrong) that she does know, but takes people one person at a time (in other words she may not be the hateful bigoted person the way so many blogs are portraying her, not hear of course :)

Personally I am friends with many gay people, and spend time with them every week. I think I would maybe be classified as a hard core Jesus follower; “Christian” has a lot of inaccurate assumptions, and misunderstandings bottled up in it.

Interesting thing is I know nobody at my Church that hates gays, none, not one.

There are those in the world that claim to be Jesus followers that do hate gay people, and I can understand how those that don’t know what the real thing looks like may make the mistake of thinking that genuine Jesus followers are like that stereotypical “Christian”.

When I am with other Jesus following men from my Church we NEVER say bad things about gay people, but when I am with non-Jesus following men that are straight they often pretend to be friends with gay people we know and then trash them when they are not around. We would never for example call Todd a “stewardess”.

You have an interesting way of writing, and an interesting wit.

Fletch said...

"We would never for example call Todd a “stewardess”."

Well, I guess I'll enjoy serving my time in hell then.

Oh wait...I don't believe in that either.

I have no need to defend my words. I'm an equal-opportunity picker-onner. I have no desire to get into a "who's friendlier towards GLBTs" pissing match, but I'm glad you feel the way you do towards them. Must be the Canadian thing - you canucks seem to be much more enlightened than most Americans when it comes to social issues.

Robb said...

I'm gay, and I think "stewardess" is funny. And funny beats political correctness every time, I mean, come on.

We reduce people on reality shows to stereotypes, saying they are lazy or mean or Bible-obsessed. But that is just part of the game. I bet, other than perhaps Johnny-Fairplay or that crazy cigarette smoking man who "quit" smoking the day before the show started, most of the contestants are reasonably nice people and probably a lot more boring than they seem. Teasing them, and perhaps even mocking them is all part of the fun and shouldn't be taken too seriously.

My two cents. But enough lecture. I just wanna see alliances made and broken and double and triple crossed. Also I love it when people get all crazy over getting a spoon of peanut butter and crap. Now that is good television. :)

Fletch said...

Thanks, Robb - very nicely put.

Sasha said...

I don't really understand Survivor - who descides the winner?