TGITDNMAR (8/10/07)

It's that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released.

Fall can't come fast enough. Six movies being thrown away this week. I shouldn't say that - at least one of them sounds halfway appealing. What a surprise, it's an indie. That said, where's the breakout indie hits this summer? The biggest little film that's been even a moderate hit is Sicko, but that barely qualifies, as it already had a high profile and really hasn't grossed all that much (just over $20M). Paris, je t'aime should have been it, but people see Paris in the title and turn up their noses while inhaling ___ Fries. Whatever.

Stardust
Matthew Vaughn, producer of hipster hits Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch, as well as director of the Daniel Craig breakout vehicle Layer Cake brings us a fairy tale starring (amongst others) Robert DeNiro, Michelle Pfeiffer, Claire Danes, Sienna Miller, and Peter O'Toole. Sounds like an impressive ensemble/collaboration, no?

Um, no. This looks like (and has been mildly compared to) warmed-over Princess Bride, minus the humor (and story and...). I'm sure I'll catch this on cable, but I have a rule about avoiding movies where "fallen stars" turn out to be "mystical, magical people." Ugh.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 8%


Skinwalkers
I liked this better when it was called Underworld. And I didn't even really like that all that much. Cool poster, though.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 0%






Rocket Science
In two minutes of research, this indie about a stuttering high school kid who joins a debate team to impress a girl was compared (though not particularly favorably) to Rushmore, The Royal Tenenbaums, and Napoleon Dynamite. Unfavorable comparison or no, that's pretty heady company to be lumped in with. If this makes its way to Phoenix, and I've seen everything else out that has been deemed "interesting," this may be worth a look. If not, no biggie.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 29%


Daddy Day Camp
When I first saw the trailer for this POS sequel, I almost got excited. See, both the stars of the first POS movie (which I have not seen; forgive my assumptions), Eddie Murphy and Jeff Garlin, were wise avoid to avoid this like the plague (congrats on saying "No" to something rotten, Eddie!). As a result, the producers did their best to find some impersonators (stereotypes?) to fill their shoes, coming up with Cuba Gooding, Jr. and...what appear to be TeenWolf's good friend "Chubby" (or Chubbs if you prefer), aka Mark Holton.

Imagine my disappointment, though, when I found out that it was not Chubbs after all, but Paul Rae. Hey, at least its directed by Fred Savage. As it turns out, there is one film released this week that has something in common with The Princess Bride, after all.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 0%


2 Days in Paris
Though I'm positive that this film won't make its way to my part of the country, this sounds like another Parisian film that I'd be up for seeing that the rest of the country might ignore. Julie Delpy did everything but the catering apparently (stars, wrote, directed, composed, edited) and Adam Goldberg (Dazed and Confused, Saving Private Ryan) co-stars. The plot focuses on the real-life couple playing a couple who travel to (!) Paris to see if the City of Lights can't kick start their relationship.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 53%


Rush Hour 3
Why?

I can see the appeal of the first one. Bi-racial buddy comedies typically carry enough material based solely on the interplay between the races, and this one had the bonus of not having a white guy as one of the two. It also had two likable stars in Chan and Tucker.

But did you see the movies? Sure, Chan does his thing, and Tucker screams and boasts a lot, but it really ain't all that funny, and I find it hard to lighten up enough when watching them not to be offended at how ignorant and stereotypical they are. This new one looks no different, what with the trailer featuring Tucker berating an Asian transplant to Paris (again with Paris) for speaking French, as if that's something to be ashamed of. I can only imagine the reaction if the French Asian turned the tables on Tucker and gave him sh*t for not speaking a common language of Africa (one of which is...French!). Offensive. And dumb.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 2%