Fletch's Film Review: The Sorcerer's Apprentice

I've said this elsewhere, I think, but what really killed Nic Cage's career for me was when he went from being the loser in films (Raising Arizona, Moonstruck, Fast Times, etc.) to thinking that he was a hero of some sort. Pretty much all of his worst movies are ones where he's the alpha male that saves the day; conversely, his best are ones like Matchstick Men and Adaptation where he's seriously flawed. Hell, this arrogant bastard had the temerity to think that he could/should play Superman.

So it's no surprise that he'll be going full-on Mentor in this stage of his career - he's getting a bit long in the tooth to be a traditional action star (someone tell Sly Stallone this), and I'm sure he'll relish being seen as someone who's the best (or at least used to be the best) at a given activity (in this case sorcery). Though good luck, future Cage hirers, at convincing this jerk to play a character that gets killed nobly - he's the hero, goddamnit!

This movie is decent. The effects are pretty sweet, and Alfred Molina is always fantastic. Clearly, Jon Turtletaub can craft an inoffensive, mildly entertaining action flick, and the "New York comes to life" aspect to it was clever and welcome. Best of all, Cage is in ridiculous mode, all posing for the camera trying to look at cool as his near-50-year old ass can with his long hair and ridiculous clothes. You could do worse, but if you're seeing this over Inception, you're, to borrow from the great Robert Downey, Jr, a full-on retard.

Fletch's Film Rating:

	Expectation: "Would I lie to you?"
	Reality: "Would I lie to you?"

And then...

Fletch's Mini Film Review: Knowing

I caved. The pressure got to me again. I sacrificed half of my principles and $20 or so of my dollars (between Mrs. Fletch and I). I had to see if the unintentional comedy could remotely come close to matching The Wicker Man. That's right - I saw Knowing.

And you know what? I friggin' liked it. Alex Proyas' apocalyptic time capsule thriller somehow managed to sink its claws into me early on, its linear jumping framed confidently by the director. Showing that same steady hand, he even manages to coax a subtle (at times), dare I say powerful performance out of his star, the traditionally awful Nic Cage.

Lost in a sea of chaos searching for answers, Cage offers up the numerically mad manic energy that Jim Carrey failed to grasp in the similarly themed The Number 23, though the end-of-the-world gravitas that Knowing brings might have been the bigger key at play.

Sure, there's some unintentional comedy to be had, including, but not limited to, Cage whacking a tree with a baseball bat whilst screaming about 'whisper people,' but it never gets out of hand and, thankfully, a hair is never wildly out of place. While it may not be the four-star gem that Roger Ebert declared it to be, Knowing is certainly worth a look, and forced me to eat just a little bit of crow.

Fletch's Film Rating:

"Would I lie to you?"


Random note: Happy April Fool's Day. In case you missed my similar 'review' of Next, click here.

And then...

Fletch's Film Review: Next

Much like an atheist that feels compelled to go to church, or a Democrat that religiously watches the Fox News network, I too had an overwhelming urge to keep tabs on the enemy. As such, despite my unwillingness to part with my money (much less give to the opposition), I had to see Next, the latest from the Blog Cabins' favorite whipping boy, Mr. Nicolas Cage. And let me tell you, I'm as shocked as you are...

As much as it pains me to say it, and as un-hungry as I am to eat pounds of crow, this is Cage's best film since Leaving Las Vegas. His portrayal as Vegas showman Cris Johnson is as spot-on as if Penn Jillette (or The Amazing Jonathan) himself were playing the part. Half the time, I sat in amazement, just waiting for the next illusion to literally blow my mind.

The direction, by the aforementioned Lee Tamahori, is solid if unspectacular. He takes Philip Dick's story and weaves it into a parable for postmodern life in the 21st century. If you could see the fate of those around you (for however short the time frame), would you? And how much would that weigh on your psyche?

One thing I got right for sure, though, was Jessica Biel's role - she is clearly over matched by the veteran Cage, and would have been better off playing the lead girl character in Disturbia rather than playing with the big kids. Julianne Moore is in full Children of Men effect, as a hardcore FBI agent attempting to cradle Cage's gifts. As she did in Boogie Nights, she commands the screen with her presence alone, and the film suffers only when she is missing.

All that said, the true shock of the film was the endearing performance (cameo) by tiger-mauling victim Roy Horn. Showing true grit and determination, Horn gives a tour-de-force effort playing the right-hand man to the main baddie attempting to take down Cage. His spirit and gusto are unrivaled, and he is hands down the best actor not named Nicolas Cage in the film.

Fletch's Film Rating:

Would I lie to you?


(In case the subtle hints embedded above and below weren't enough, the above review is completely false. As if I would spend more than a nickel to see this...)

And then...