Bang Dang

Thanks, America! What a perfect start to Cagefest.

And then...

TGITDNMAR (9/5/08)

It's that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released.

Bangkok Dangerous (now going by it's new title: BangDang)
You know how last time I said that that week was the worst week yet for new releases? Well, I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that I was wrong. Way wrong. Horribly, mutilatedly wrong. Now for the good news:

With just ONE wide release today, and with that ONE release being the worst looking Nic Cage flick since Ghost Rider, it's safe to say that this is, was, and forever shall be "The Worst Weekend at the Movies...Ever." Thus, I'm not allowed to say that anymore, and you won't have to hear it. If I ever slip up and you should hear me utter something even close to those words, please scold me immediately. The only exception would be another weekend with these circumstances (one opening, it being a Nic Cage vehicle), and even then the movie would somehow have to look worse than BangDang. Not likely.

Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 0%, or equal to the percentage of real hairs on Nic's head.

Don't forget The Great Movie Poster Piece Contest is going on now! Click on the image above for more details. WIN PRIZES! Impress the neighborhood children and random strangers at the supermarket! Mock your dog's inability to get more than 3 correct!

And then...

Just 15 Days!

Turns out Nic Cage's hair looks so good in Bangkok Dangerous (hitting theaters September 5th!) that he's getting some endorsements out of it. Way to go, Nic!

And then...

Just 79 more days!

That's right, folks - BD hits theaters September 5th! Set your alarms and make plans (to be busy doing anything but seeing this) accordingly.

By the way, including this awesome movie, Cage has seven films in some stage of production, including a "re-envisioning" of the notorious 1992 Harvey Keitel flick Bad Lieutenant. Please please please don't unleash Cage's "little man" on the world, I beg of you.

And then...