Morning kids, pinch hitting for my boy Ir while he’s on a mini sabbatical, as I e-mailed Irwin last night this season of Survivor is so painfully bad its almost enjoyable, if for nothing else than to fuel your hatred for humanity. Anyway I caught about 15 minutes of the ep last night between channel surfing and binge-drinking, so I’m not quite going in fresh, but I will quasi live-blog this baby while I watch it on my computer, so let’s see what’s going on this season in Survivor…
0:00 – So I guess the point of this season was, umm we know we’re on the last legs of the show, so we’ll throw in a celebrity to tide you over until we do another Russel vs. Rob season, poor work by the producers not rigging the game to keep in Jimmy Johnson though, couldn’t they have put him on a team with hardcore Cowboys or Hurricane fans, the ratings must have dropped off a cliff after Episode 3…
3:24 - So for some reason they are merging the tribes with about 15 people this year, I guess when the footage is this painfully boring the producers were forced to throw in some bizarre twists…
5:32 – I can’t even remember the alliances, I know the old cripple Dan is Marty’s follower, and the psycho black chick (Nayonke?) was in some poorly conceived minority alliance with Brenda the Asian chick, I’m still rooting for Jimmy Johnson…
8:16 – This is about the time I bailed last night, I’ve started surfing the net on my second screen, man these people are boring, let’s make a list of people we know/care about as of now…
-Naonke – the psycho black chick, very hateable, at least she goes out of her way to be a good villain, didn’t she threaten a one-legged chick a few eps back?
-Brenda – The hot Asian chick, she’s pretty annoying, and pure evil, but I guess she’s the brains behind the power alliance
-Marty – The old “strategizer”, clssic overcompensater who has watched every season, and tries too hard, this jerk voted off Jimmy Johnson because he was jealous that America would think Jimmy was the protagonist of the season over him…
-Fabio – a happy go lucky simpleton, at least watching him makes us at home feel smarter…
-The hot blonde chick – In a season this thin, why not put her at the forefront, maybe base an episode on her quest to find a good tanning spot…
11:12 – A coworker just stopped by to discuss football picks, (I paused the ep) my lock of the week is the Bears by the by… (more on this in my TGIF edition)
12:35 – So Nayonka just made her wacky move to steal a bunch of food, wow caught a little bit of this last night, but yeah probably not smart, at least Rusty stole all his stuff when everyone was asleep…
14:40 – Naayonka is already posturing for jury votes? Has survivor ever had a jury of 15 people?
15:58 – Ha, Nayunka just got outted for stealing stuff, by Fabio of all people, this is why you don’t stir waves when you’re in a power position, she has an immunity idol, for some reason she has the numbers, and she is making wacky moves, not smart, every season there are some wacky panic moves, I never understand them, I mean for a million dollars I’d happily go 39 days without any food, without seeing anyone, but these people always catch island fever and make crazy moves
22:00 – So it’s time for the first immunity challenge, I guess theyre doing one for boys and girls, why not do one for fogeys and one for young uns, I guess I like the mix-up, when there are twice as many people as a usual merger why not have twice as many immunity idols? Hey remember that medallion of power they trotted out for the first 2 episodes, that was funny…
26:00 – So the annoying old country woman won immunity, she’s the one who flipped on her tribe because the young people “liked” her, not exactly a master of strategy right there, she has no chance to win…
29:16 – Wow the gay guy is actually honoring his word, this is unprecedented in Survivor, he really endeared himself to me right there, annoying old country woman is still posturing against good old Marty, she’s worried Marty will win immunity the next 20 times and make the finals… there are 15 people in the merged trible, even Colby only won immunity 12 times in a row
31:52 – Marty is going out of his way to overstrategize and annoy people, can’t blame him for not trusting the word of a Survivor…
33:34 – They are trying to swing Fabs to their anti-Marty alliance, he’s a huge Marty fan for some reason, I think Marty told him the movie Bobby Fisher was based on his life a few eps back, Fabs is such a good-natured simpleton… for the record the people I like thusfar are… Fabs, Gay Guy (he really won me over by honoring his word), Hot Blonde chick, and maybe Marty (I love a good villain, and at least he’s interesting), and of course Jimmy Johnson (can we get a wacky Survivor twist to bring him back??)…
36:56 – Ha, Marty is opening an open frontal attack at Jane, pointing out that people would have to be functional retards to keep her around, this group is so stupid though that probably hadn’t occurred to them until then, I doubt any of them are thinking long-term…
38:58 – Elena (?) is playing the swing vote card, probably a little early for that, there’s never been a merged tribe of 40 people, no one needs a swing vote now, plus this crowd is too stupid to know how to use a swing vote… reminds me of on the Apprentice when Trump bragged everyone had an IQ over 150, Probst must only select people with IQs under Forrest Gump’s 75
42:00 – If Probst reads the first vote for someone, you know they’re safe, he’s the master of showing votes in a way to build suspense, it’s gotten predictable Jeffrey, the first two seasons he’d just reach into the urn and randomly read the names… Alina got voted off
42:45 – Still seems like a pretty boring season, there is an alliance of about 35 people, and all of them are too stupid to make a power play, so it appears they’ll just pick of the 5 people not in their alliance, and then realize “wait a second, it might not have been smart to make a 35 person alliance to get me to the end”…
44:00 - Also, just I did some Wikipedia research, Jeff said Alena was the first member of the jury, and there are 11 people left, meaning if there is a two person final there 
will be a ten person jury, and if there is a three person final there will be a 9 person jury, the only way to eliminate an option of a tie is to have an 11 person final next week, and Elena be the only person to vote… so as usual I will be rooting for the tie, why not just have a two-person final with an odd numbered jury, why even keep the chance for a tie and the show to look like idiots, it makes no sense to me… I mean does the BCS ever look smart in college football when 4 teams have a claim at the national title every year??? Nice work Survivor, this season is a trainwreck, but on the plus side this trainwreck already made them retool next season, celebrities include: Russell, Kimbo Slice, and Carrie Prejean… could be some interesting watching…
will be a ten person jury, and if there is a three person final there will be a 9 person jury, the only way to eliminate an option of a tie is to have an 11 person final next week, and Elena be the only person to vote… so as usual I will be rooting for the tie, why not just have a two-person final with an odd numbered jury, why even keep the chance for a tie and the show to look like idiots, it makes no sense to me… I mean does the BCS ever look smart in college football when 4 teams have a claim at the national title every year??? Nice work Survivor, this season is a trainwreck, but on the plus side this trainwreck already made them retool next season, celebrities include: Russell, Kimbo Slice, and Carrie Prejean… could be some interesting watching…
4 people have chosen wisely: on "Survivor Live (day after) Blog?!?!"
There's a hot chick on this season? Surely you don't mean "Purple Kelly?" And tell me again why they keep the stupid Purple nickname when the other Kelly has been voted off?
I'm really torn on who to like this season. It does seem like Brenda and Sash (aka the Gay Guy - who isn't gay, supposedly) are in control with their 35-person alliance (or 5), though they surely aren't very likable. I want to like Marty, but he's just such a douche at times that he really makes it difficult.
Fabio is a great simpleton and character for the show, but I obviously can't take him seriously. Or Dan the Cripple. Or Holly the Idiot. Or Nayonka the C-word. Or...
Naonka is like... the Epic-Fail Russell. She tries to be him, but fails miserably. She was CAUGHT stealing stuff... the LIED about it.
Marty can be a douche at times, but I still kinda like him, and I find myself rooting for him to stay in the game every week when they try to vote him off.
I was also surprised that Sash stuck to his word. Very honorable.
But the only other one I like besides Marty is Fabio. I'm crossing my fingers for a Fabio win. He could be stupid enough to pull it off. I mean, remember Erik from Fans vs. Favorites? He was about as dimwitted (as proven by giving the all-girl alliance his hidden immunity idol). But he did make it to the final 4, and almost into the finals.
I hate Naonka, Brenda (though cute), and Jane.
And I'm pretty sure this wouldn't be the first year there could possibly be a tie in the finals.
I rooting for Benri here on out. He seems the most physically capable and he hasnt done anything to annoy me. Which is rare this season.
Definitely the most boring season ever. I mean, there are moments of interest of course, it is a great format. But I don't love or love to hate anyone. Brenda and Sash are playing well I guess, but in a boring way. And I don't find Sash "honorable" at all, he is keeping his word not because it is the right thing to do but because he doesn't want to lose a potential Jury vote. This doesn't make his actions dis-honorable, but can we please dispense with the ridiculousness of pretending that moral virtue is at all important in this game? (Which is different than the appearance of moral virtue, but I'm being such a Survivor nerd right now I think I have to shut up. lol)
Marty is playing hard, which I appreciate, but his play has always had an edge of desperation about it that I find unappealing. I will give him credit for great hair.
Fabio is great comic relief, and seems genuinely likable. Benry had me until the very weird dirt-squirrel comment. What does that even mean? And is Purple Kelly mute? Since it seems rather plausible she is going to make it for quite a while further you think they would give us some kind of intro reel for her, I wouldn't be able to pick her out of a lineup. I don't even know what to say about Naonka. She has a sass and sense of humor I find appealing, but a crazy side that is just weird and mean. I originally thought she was doing a Fairplay-esque villain that was just totally fabricated for TV, but more and more she just seems to flounder. (Although genius to bring Alina in on the stealing food stuff.) I'd say she was a lock for the end cause everyone would want her there with them, but she seems so unstable at this point I wouldn't discount her ability to self-destruct.
Dang Fletch, I've missed your weekly posts, I don't have anywhere else to vent about all this! lol
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