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Jun 3, 2010

Movies I'm Really Not Looking Forward to: Casting the Caddyshack remake

"Blasphemy!," you might be saying right now. "It was bad enough that we sat through the idiotic sequel, but a remake?"

Well, guess what? It's happening. No, I'm not breaking any news or anything, but the plain fact of the matter is that it will happen (some might already say that a version of it has) - it might not be next year or even the year after that, but let's face it: Caddyshack remains culturally relevant, a crowd-pleaser for 30 years now, and still the clubhouse leader in the poorly represented "golf movie" subgenre (Tin Cup and Happy Gilmore are left fighting it out over 2nd place).

Well, if you can't beat 'em, you might as well join 'em: here are my suggestions for the six plum roles, in the order of least to most important.

Danny Noonan - Sure, Danny's our protagonist, but he's also the straight man, and likely to be the youngest of the main cast members. He needs to be sympathetic without being pathetic, but in the larger sense, he needs to just not screw things up and/or divert attention away from the real stars of the movie. (Note: this was probably the hardest for me to cast. On the one hand, it's not as important, but on the other, I'm not all that familiar with early-20s actors. Going with an unknown might be the best choice.)
First choice: Aaron Johnson (Kick-Ass)
Will settle for: Zac Efron (I guess?)
Wild card: Ezra Miller, who stole nearly every scene of City Island he was in.

Carl Spackler - Yes, Bill Murray was hilarious and a good reason for the success of the original. The fact is, though, that Carl was not a major character and is not integral to the success of a remake. Carl is comic relief to the comedy, responsible for short diversions from the main plot. As legend states, his lone scene with Ty Webb wasn't even in the original script, but a last-minute addition when the producers came to the realization that Murray and Chase shared no scenes together.
First choice: Will Ferrell
Will settle for: Johnny Knoxville
Wild card(s): Zach Galifianakis, Seth Rogen, Rainn Wilson, Allen Covert (in a nod to Happy Gilmore, where he could more or less reprise his role as Otto the homeless caddy).

Lacey Underall - Cindy Morgan was eye candy, sure, but she was more than that; she brought an attitude and an edge to the role of Lacey. Serving as our gateway to this world, Lacey gave us the knowing glances that said, "What the hell am I doing here with all of these idiots?" (Ty Webb notwithstanding.) Her role is more pivotal than you might think. But yeah, she's gotta be smoking hot...and show some skin.
First choice: Amanda Seyfried
Will settle for: Megan Fox, Jessica Biel (you don't see "settle" next to their names all that often, do you?)
Wild card: Lindsay Lohan

Ty Webb - Playboy. Former pro golfer. (A bit of a) drunk. Coolest guy in the room, in any room.

Aw, who are we kidding? The top choice here is the same as the choices to play Chevy Chase's other tremendously cool character, Mr. Irwin M. Fletcher.
First choice: Ryan Reynolds
Will settle for: Bradley Cooper
Wild card(s): Aaron Eckhart, Taye Diggs

Judge Elihu Smails - There are many who would say that this is the pivotal role, that Ted Knight was the make-or-break factor to the original, and that were his role miscast it would sabotage the rest of the movie. I'm not worried about that, and I don't think he's the most important role. Pivotal, yes, but I don't think that the type of actor needed would be all that hard to find - great as Knight was, there's not exactly a shortage of middle-aged men with dramatic chops that are capable of pulling off the funny, as you can no doubt tell by the list of "settles" I've compiled.
First choice: Brian Cox
Will settle for: Bruce Willis, Forest Whitaker, John Lithgow, Paul Giamatti
Wild card(s): Meryl Streep, in kinda-sorta-Prada mode

Al Czervik - No, it's Rodney Dangerfield's shoes that are the hardest to fill. Who else can enter the frame like a bat out of hell, chew dialogue and scenery like there's no tomorrow, and still leave you wanting more? As you'll see by my first two choices, I've put less of an emphasis on age and more on the personality type needed to play an eccentric millionaire (billionaire?) that would be unwelcome at an esteemed place such as Bushwood. The wild card? That's just for fun...but think about it.
First choice: Russell Brand
Will settle for: Sacha Baron Cohen
Wild card: Nic Cage

Who would you cast?

21 people have chosen wisely: on "Movies I'm Really Not Looking Forward to: Casting the Caddyshack remake"

JacksSmirkingRevenge said...

They did remake caddyshack a couple years ago, I believe it was called "Whose Your Caddy."

Anyway, I am one of those that thinks Ted Knight is a comedic genius and makes the movie. Of the choices you list I think Lithgow would be the best in the role.

THN said...

I need to have a think about this. But my Al Czervik would be somebody completely different. How about ones that they will cast? Like Dane Cook as Ty Webb. Jason Biggs as Danny Noonan.

Fletch said...

JSR - I meant to link this line ("some might already say that a version of it has") to the Who's your Caddy? imdb page. I had a post about it when it was released as well. Never saw it, though (thankfully). You?

I think the Smails character is the one with the most potential to surprise people. I like Lithgow, but don't think he's THAT funny - I just think he could pull off the blowhard/asshole part pretty well. Meanwhile, put a more dramatic person in there who has a smaller history in comedic roles and they could surprise people. The Giamatti selection was one of the last I came up with, but I like that one more and more the more I think about it.

THN - So who would your Czervik be?

Ugh, Cook. That'd be brutal. Biggs is too old. Looking around, it seems like most people recently would tab Michael Cera as Noonan, but as much as I like Cera, I don't think he's right at all for the part.

Peter Eramo said...

One of the worst sequels in film history. This project will be a travesty, for sure. As a die-hard fan of the original, I'm surely rooting against it. No one can duplicate Ted Knight here...no one!

Nick said...

This is a movie that should NEVER be remade. Its timelessness was in the fact that it was a one in a million movie!

BUT: Seeing as how Hollywood loves desecrating our childhood lately here's how I'd cast:

Noonan: Michael Cera
Spackler: Tommy Chong
Lacy Underall: Mila Kunis
Ty Webb: Ryan Reynolds
Judge Smails: David Schramm (Roy from Wings. A little rotund for the part but he's got that stammering quality that made Ted Knight famous)
Al Czervik: Frank Caliendo. (Kick ass mimic and can probably channel Rodney Dangerfield..)

Atakan Kandemir said...

totally agree...

Fletch said...

Nick - I completely agree. It shouldn't. But you and I both know that, in time, it will.

Tommy Chong is an interesting choice. I think they'd want a bigger name, though.

I like the Kunis pick a lot.

For Smails, Roy from Wings is another good pick, but shit, I don't even know if the guy is alive, which doesn't say much for his pop culture relevance. Still, he's got the comedic chops and the personality.

I'm not a fan of Caliendo, but yeah, if mimicry's the way to go, he'd be the best bet...

JacksSmirkingRevenge said...

Fortunately I never saw "Who's your caddy" either.

Nick said...

I really wish people would stop pretending to be me.

Kaiderman said...

Not a Jackie Mason fan, huh? haha
This is a great cast you've laid out, Fletch. I love Ryan Reynolds... I'd say let's take it one step further and cast him for the Fletch remake... if it ever happens... though I think I heard he was offered and passed which is a shame.

Fitz said...

Really like Cox as the judge and Brand as Czervik.

James said...

Hollywood will not rest until they've sucked the life out of every classic film ever made. In thirty years, Jerry Bruckheimer will produce Citizen Kane II and it will signal the coming of the apocalypse.

Heather said...

I like the recasting ideas in a theoretical capacity, but am dumbfounded by possibly remaking it. I'm literally angry. ANGRY.

Fletch said...

Kai - I actually wasn't bothered much at all by Mason in the second - it was more the story, Randy Quaid (though, admittedly, he had his moments), Dan Aykroyd (brutally bad), Stack, Cannon, the awful teenagers....

James - thankfully, Bruckheimer will be dead in thirty years (I keed, I keed). But seriously, he won't be living. Begs the question, though: which movie is most untouchable, remake-wise? I say Godfather. No one's ever gonna have the stones to touch that one.

Heather - best to just give in to the possibility (or, reality) that everything (short of perhaps the couple flicks mentioned above) will be remade.

I was thinking about this the other day, though. You know how we're on a 20-30 year cycle for remakes (80s, so hot right now)? What's gonna happen when it's 2035 and there's nothing to remake but other remakes? With such a dearth of original material now, they'll HAVE to come up with original stuff then, right?

Oh, who am I kidding. Get ready for the 8th "reimagining" of Batman come 2032...

THN said...

Al Czerik ... Bobby Slayton.

Angie said...

Throw John C Reilly in there somewhere. He's funny :)

Fletch said...

THN - never been a big Slayton fan myself, but I can kinda see it. He'd have the 'being a dick' part down pretty good, right?

Angie - Reilly might could make a good Spackler, you know...

James said...

Fletch - I agree, Godfather is pretty untouchable. There would probably be riots in the streets if anyone tried.

As for Bruckheimer, I'm fairly convinced he'll eventually reveal himself to be the Satan so in thirty years he will still be torturing movie fans.

Heather said...

I'm just tired of lack of new ideas. It is exhausting. I can't wait till everyone sees Karate Kid and can hear about the awful of it. Every time I see the trailers on TV I feel compelled to throw something at it.

Dan said...

You're right - the key to a good Caddyshack remake is in the casting but I can't see anyone coming close to Chase/Murray/Dangerfield et al.

Stu said...

I'm assuming that the screenplay would be dog meat but if the wigs managed to pull that cast together for a remake I might actually see it in theaters.