TGITDNMAR (2/12/10)

It's that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released.

I don't know whether it's been due more to just bad timing (or good?) or a show of restraint on our part, but the trips to the theaters to see the doldrums that are January and February film choices have been largely avoided thus far (I spoke of my weakness last time out). That streak was almost killed earlier tonight when said timing issues and a lack of patience almost had us in the theater for the largely panned Valentine's Day, but a sold-out showing saved us. So it was off to the arthouse theater to catch a later showing of The Young Victoria (I would have preferred to see the newly opened The White Ribbon, but we didn't feel like waiting an additional half hour for it). Still, the chances of us hitting one of the P.O.S.'s already in theaters, or one of the below, seems to grow by the day.

This is what happens when we get desperate after nearly a month without a theatrical visit.

Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief
Somewhat surprisingly at this point, with reviews out on all of the three wide releases this week, this appears to be the best option. The parallels to Harry Potter (for the book series and the film) are so blatant that it's bizarre a copyright suit wasn't filed, and the irony of getting Sorcerer's Stone director Chris Columbus on board to direct Percy is just the icing on the cake. Still, in 2010, Greek mythology is all the rage again (I guess), and I can't say that it looks all that terrible. Certainly can't be anywhere near as bad as effing Eragon.

Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 29%

The Wolfman
Regardless of how bad this apparently is, you'd be hard-pressed to argue that Emily Blunt hasn't had a hell of a year (and change). First, Sunshine Cleaning (officially released in 2008, but no one saw it until last spring, for all intents), in which she took much of the praise away from star Amy Adams. Then, the aforementioned Young Victoria, which earned her a Golden Globe nomination, amongst other awards. Finally, she gets to co-star with three diverse, ultra-talented gentleman, in the form of Benicio del Toro, Anthony Hopkins, and Hugo Weaving.

How they managed to turn that cast - to say nothing of the chance to kickstart a franchise - into a film with a 30% freshness rating at Rotten Tomatoes is beyond me.

(Though now I must see it, if only to gauge its terribleness for myself. I wish that weren't the case, but it is.)
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 70%

Valentine's Day
Of course, that 30% rating probably seems like heaven for director Garry Marshall's latest clunker - it's currently sitting at 15%. I couldn't be more thrilled we had to skip out on this.

Maybe I shouldn't talk, since I've seen exactly none of his films (at least not in total - I've seen enough of The Other Sister to regard it as an embarrassing comedy classic), but this guy ought to have a worse reputation in Hollywood than Michael Bay. Outside of the must-be-great Pretty Woman (I'll continue along just fine "missing out" on it), what the hell is keeping this man employed? Happy Days and Mork & Mindy ended nearly 30 years ago - it's time to cut the cord.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 6%