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Jan 29, 2010

TGITDNMAR (1/29/10)

It's that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released.

When in Rome
Edge of Darkness
"Hi. My name is Fletch, and I will go to see bad movies if I have to."

"Hi, Fletch. Welcome to the group - admitting you have a problem is the first step."

"Thanks. I feel doubly guilty about it because I'm one of those people that tells others to quit bitching about sequelitis and remakeitis, insisting that if they'd just have the temerity to stop attending crap, Hollywood would get the message and stop making it. But see, (my wife and) I like going to the movies. We enjoy the theatrical experience. We don't have Netflix, we rarely rent, especially lately (maybe twice in the past year). We have a DVR and the HBO family of programs and TCM and any other commercial-free channels we may not be aware of at this moment, so that enables us to catch up on much of what we might've missed (or not missed yet still feel compelled to watch - I'm looking at you, Eagle Eye). We don't mind having a healthy chunk of our entertainment dollars going to a theater.

But damnit, is it too much to ask for one halfway decent option a week? WTF is this crap?!?"

"We feel you pain, Fletch. But are you willing to break this cycle?"

"I dunno. When we get hard up and have seen all of the things we want to see - and have even stretched it with others like Daybreakers and The Book of Eli - we usually just don't go as often, making it out maybe once a week instead of twice a week or so. But frankly, when we go much more than seven days without a hit, we start to go a little nuts, clawing at our skin and biting the heads off of those that attempt to engage us in normal behaviors. We start to consider seeing the likes of Leap Year and whatever Nic Cage might be out that week, if only because I have some sort of sadomasochistic relationship with him. It can be painful sometimes, but a release is still a release. Only when something is monumentally bad (Strange Wilderness) do I really regret it, though my wife might disagree."

"What about this week? Are you feeling vulnerable, like you might relapse? Are you being tempted by either When in Rome or Edge of Darkness?"

"You're goddamned right I'm feeling vulnerable. The last thing I saw was The Book of Eli, and that pretty much sucked, and must have been two weeks ago. And this week's new releases look like garbage - how many times must we see the Angry Dad movie [thanks to Simon and Jo for that one] before that sh*t is deemed staler than Wonder Bread from 1984? Oh, but it's combined with the Vigilante Revenge movie that we've never seen before. Throw in a heaping pile of Boston Mel Gibson and I'm about ready to watch The International again. And by the way, more Boston? Can a friggin' movie be set in Milwaukee for chrissakes? How about Atlanta? There are other cities in the US and the world-at-large.

Oh yeah, that's right, like Rome. Forgotten Sarah Marshall. Has that Josh Duhamel guy ever been in anything remotely good before? And if you say that Las Vegas TV show, I'll bet on black like Wesley Snipes (whatever that means). Just meh.

So yeah, we'll probably relapse, but I sure as hell hope it's not with either of these piles. The Blind Side, here we come." *groan*

"Please leave our group."
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater):
When in Rome: 8%
Edge of Darkness: 11%


9 people have chosen wisely: on "TGITDNMAR (1/29/10)"

Fitz said...

Reno just got A Single Man so I'll be seeing that.

Gibson returning to acting is nice though.

Nick said...

I think I might either go The Blind Side or The Lovely Bones this weekend. Though out of this week's two movies, When In Rome is more compelling to me than Edge of Darkness. Though When In Rome's trailer just bugged me, because it felt like it went nowhere for the majority of the time until toward the end, when the point finally comes across.

The main thing that compels me to see When In Rome is that Jon Heder and Efren Ramirez are both in the movie, the first time together in a movie since Napoleon Dynamite.

Who Is Tim Burton? said...

Hi! Fletch,
Fletch said,"Hi. My name is Fletch, and I will go to see bad movies if I have to."

Omg!(Laughter or giggling)this post was to amusing. I thought that you were channeling me with your intro(duction,)

Edge of Darkness...I most definitely,want to check out Mel Gibson's Edge of Darkness...because of the neo-noir elements that maybe presence.

Hmmm...Maybe When in Rome too!
By the way, Sorry about the use of the title (Misses) when referring to Mrs.Fletch, in the previous post.(The Kreativ Award Post)

DeeDee ;-D

Clive Dangerously said...

Of all the quotes from Passenger 57, always bet on black is the one I wish I could have stitched on a pillow the most.

Castor said...

When In Rome looks absolutely heinous but then, that could be said of 99% of rom-com that have been coming over the years

Fletch said...

Fitz - Yeah, I'd take A Single Man over either of these, for sure. Unfortunately for me, I've already seen it. :|

I would agree about Gibson in theory, but I don't feel like giving him any money. Eff that clown.

Nick - When in Rome feels like a great movie...to watch on cable. Doesn't help that the reviews I've seen are all pretty terrible. Pass. I don't know if I think it's a good thing or a desperate sign that Heder and Ramirez are back together. Feels like a gimmick which makes me sad for them.

Instead we watched The Abyss this weekend - first time I'd seen it. Benn doing a lot of good catchup lately. Watched To Kill A Mockingbird (again, granted, but it's been awhile), Abyss, East of Eden (not finished)...

DeeDee - haha, no channeling here. And no worries about the Misses/Mrs. thing - didn't even notice it, to be honest.

Clive - that pillowcase would go nicely with your Bad Motherf*cker wallet.

Castor - point taken for sure. And I enjoyed your "interview" on the matter. I think I probably look at rom-coms the same way I look at horror flicks - most are formulaic, unimaginative and intended for 14-year olds, but every now and then, a good one (or even halfway decent) comes along that can actually be considered worthy of viewing by non-mouth-breathers.

Paul Arrand Rodgers said...

James Cameron is secretly genius for releasing Avatar in the middle of December. No major release movie since has had even a tenth of the stuff necessary to cost it any business, and it looks like it could stay that way for some time, unless Percy Jackson and the Wolfman are game on President's day.

Hmm...it's almost like those two belong together. I may have just invented something.

"When in Darkness."
"Edge of Rome."
"Darkness in Rome."

Yep...I just invented something: A way to make two boring movies sound great together.

Nick said...

Fletch: Are you calling me a mouth breather? :P

Fletch said...

Paul - The Book of Eli probably had the best chance of knocking it from its perch, but no dice (I think it was close, though). Good timing has certainly helped.

Nick - I don't know - are you a fan of most rom-coms? :D