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Sep 11, 2009

TGITDNMAR (9/11/09) (brief edition)

It's that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released.

The NFL is back. Temperatures are on their way down (which is a good thing here in Phoenix). It's birthday season in the Fletch family. A new CD from a much-liked band and a new book by my favorite author are either here now or coming very soon. There are numerous new televisions shows that I'm actually interested in seeing (among them, Community, Bored to Death and maybe Flashforward). Yes, it's a good time in the land of Blog Cabins. Will the movie gods make it even better?

Seen it. Reviewed it. You should totally go comment on it, thereby earning valuable karma points which can be traded in for fantastic prizes later in life.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 100%

I Can Do Bad All By Myself
One of these days, I'm gonna have to have a Tyler Perry Film Festival, where I endure all of his efforts. That day will be the day that I plan on shooting myself, and I will use the film festival as motivation to complete the task.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 0%

Sorority Row
Have you seen Rumer Willis' jawline? I mean, have you seen it? Actually, I guess the better question is, have you seen the rest of her face, since her jaw takes up half of it.

Ok, I apologize - digs at peoples' looks (minus Nic Cage) are weak and petty. That was totally uncalled for. I actually think that, her gigantic, manly jaw notwithstanding, Rumer is an attractive girl.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 1%

The head film reviewer for The Arizona Republic, Bill Goodykoontz, had a nice article that was printed in today's paper about the disturbing (and growing) trend of studios pulling their movies from critics' hands via not having advance screenings. Whiteout, Sorority Row, and the Tyler Perry flick were all sans advance critics' screenings this week, leaving the paper with no wide release reviews for their Movie Preview section today (9's review was printed with Wednesday's paper).

It's a disturbing trend indeed, made even weirder by the transparency of it all. Anyone who pays any attention to movie reviewing ought to know by now that this practice all but guarantees that the film at hand is a piece of crap (though Perry does it out of spite, more or less, as referenced in the article). Want to see a bad movie? Go see the one that hasn't been reviewed anywhere. Of course, Rotten Tomatoes and IMDb will have you tagged as rotten or fresh within moments of your release anyhow, so studios, your running from critics is pointless.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 5%

5 people have chosen wisely: on "TGITDNMAR (9/11/09) (brief edition)"

Nick said...

While it's usually the case where non-reviewed movies are crap, there are exceptions (for instance, some movies aren't given early reviews to avoid giving away big twists). And I'm wondering if Whiteout will be one of those... due to the incredibly ambiguous nature of the trailer, I did some researching on the movie. Apparently, from what I've read, it's supposed to be pretty good (or at least the source material is). But I'm still on the fence about seeing it.

I have not and probably will not see a Tyler Perry film, television show, or stage production. Seriously, he makes about 6 movies a year (all including Madea somewhere), and he also produces like 3 TV shows. It's ridiculous. And none of them look at all funny.

Sorority Row looks like a horrible rip-off of "I know what you did last summer."

9 is my movie to see this weekend.

JLG said...

Yeah - I may see 9. But for me, this weekend is all about Bears v. Packers.

Fletch said...

Whiteout has a 7% freshness rating at RT. I'd say it stinks to high heaven based on that stat alone, but I guess you never know...

We'd like to see Cold Souls (see my new "most anticipated" list in the sidebar), but probably won't be seeing anything this weekend. It's all about the return of the NFL for me. :D

Reel Whore said...

I second "Poor Rumer" We're always talking about how Rumer got the best of both parents, Bruce's jaw and Demi's nose. Unfortunately the two don't mix well.

When you're ready for that suicide Fletch I can recommend the appropriate viewing order to TP films. You'll start off surprised by the quality and be begging for the gun by the end.