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May 8, 2009

TGITDNMAR (5/8/09)

It's that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released.

Yeah, I suck. All those weeks during August and January and February when there are five crappy movies a week being released, I'm here to bitch and moan about the dearth of good films (or at least anticipated ones). But then, the last few weeks, when blockbusters like Wolverine are released, I'm not here to give high percentages and praise Hollywood for putting out better material.

Or maybe I'm just really smart. After all, Wolverine was terrible. Anyway, this week features another hotly awaited flick, and I'm here to praise it, damnit.

Star Trek
I'm speechless - the featured user comment on IMDb comes attached with the blurb "Set your phasers to STUNNING!" Please, shoot me now. Or better yet, find the idiot that wrote that (unironically, it seems) and shoot them.

Let's think of more awful puns and non sequitirs that could be used for Star Trek reviews.

"Trek-ing it's way to excellence!"

"You'll Pine for the new Star Trek."

"Five Stars!"

"stAR Trek"

"Spockingly good!"

Alright, that's enough of that. Feel free to add your own.

I don't have much else to add, save for this: so, does Winona Ryder play a top-secret, special role, or has her star just fallen that far?
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 99%

Next Day Air
I'm a big Donald Faison fan. And though he's a bit green, Mos Def is an appealing actor. But did this have to have Mike Epps in it? I find him to be the antithesis of funny. He tries so damn hard and most of the time it just falls flat for me.

So, I want to like this and support it and everything, but I just don't see that happening, especially since Mrs. Fletch is a giant racist and won't see anything with black people in it. Really - every time will.i.am came on screen during Wolverine, she went into convulsions. It was way uncomfortable.

Ok, that's not true at all. I'm just doing that thing where I don't have anything else to say about a movie and am stretching it out. And I wanted to make sure you were paying attention.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 14%

5 people have chosen wisely: on "TGITDNMAR (5/8/09)"

Nick said...

ha... I'm not sure if you did this purposefully or not... but after stopping the bad puns, you said Winona Ryder was a "falling star."

Fletch said...

Haha - nope, that was completely unintentional. But that would be good for a negative review...

Rachel said...

I'm forgetting what day of the week it is. I thought "Why the hell is Fletch posting this in the middle of the week?" But I now realize that it is indeed Friday. Loving maternity leave.

Anyway, I'll be skipping out on Star Trek. Never watched any of the shows or movies, so I don't think now is a good time to start either.

Fletch said...

Way to rub it in, Rachel. :(

"so I don't think now is a good time to start either."

Actually, by all accounts, you're exactly the target demo that J.J. Abrams wants. It's an origin tale, so no knowledge of past shows/movies is necessary.

As a bonus, it's gotten pretty darn tootin good grades from all of the reviews I've seen/heard.

Nick said...

Star Trek was freakin' amazing.