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Apr 17, 2009

Something completely unrelated...and then TGITDNMAR (4/17/09)

If you've ever looked at a rating I've given to a film and thought to yourself "Is this guy on crack?," you'll be happy to know that I now know exactly how you feel. See, I've spent the better part of the past week on a somewhat massive project for Blog Cabins, and in doing so, have become acutely familiar with every score I've ever handed out (~175 of them in all).

To see the fruits of my labor, have a look at the sidebar to your right. The static image that illustrated the Fletch Film Rating Scale is gone, replaced with a dynamic new system of pull down menus, one for each rating, and another that lumps all films together alphabetically.

I'd originally intended to create The Fletch Film Review Index as a typical post that was pre-dated, which I would just create a link to for reference, but somehow I got it in my head to do it this way, and I couldn't love it more now that I'm through with all of the HTML and Javascript lessons I've forced upon myself along the way. The only potentially unfortunate thing is that I might have done this all for myself; I have no idea if the demand to more easily scan my previous reviews exists - but at least if it does, a great system is in place now. I hope you like it. Oh, and if you're a LAMB, this serves as a sneak peak - I've decided (finally) that this is the format I'd like to use for the long, long, long awaited "LAMBs by Category" widget that I've procrastinated doing for the better part of a year.

Anyway, in making it, specifically the part where I lumped them all together by rating, I can't tell you how many times I looked at a rating I handed out only to be flummoxed by it. Films that I would be fine with never seeing again slipping into the "It's in the hole!" range, films that I would watch endlessly getting lower ratings, and many others that could just as easily slide from one to the next. Perspective - it does a body good.

But now - to the TGITDNMAR-mobile! Let's go!

It's that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released.

State of Play
In case you're not already aware, let me break the news for you: this is Benaflek's comeback year.

After not appearing in a single film in either 2007 or 2008, Big Ben is slated for three roles of various sizes this year. He already had a part in He's Just Not That Into You. He's currently being lauded for his performance here. And the best yet? He's playing Jason Bateman's pot smoking buddy in Mike Judge's new film Extract, which is slated for a Labor Day release and co-stars Mila Kunis, Kristen Wiig and J.K. Simmons. I am so, so there.

As for this flick? It looks pretty decent and all, but the name bugs the hell out of me. State of Work. Country of Play. Play of State. State of Theater. I have no idea what State of Play means - is this some common phrase that I'm woefully ignorant of? Whatever.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 68%

Crank: High Voltage
I know few things in this world, but I do this: I need to see the first Crank. If it's even close to being the perfect balance of good and bad that it's fans claim it to be, I ought to love the hell out of it. However...something tells me that it's more Wanted than Roadhouse on the Enjoyment of Cheese Scale. How say you?

That said, Corey Haim is in this one! Corey Haim! And Dwight Yoakham! And Linkin Park lead singer Chester Bennington? And Bai Ling? What, was Dustin Diamond busy? This sounds just bizarre enough that I might have to see it.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 39%

17 Again
So help me God, if this flick is somehow successful and Hollywood decides to then remake Vice Versa or Like Father, Like Son, there'll be hell to pay. You just don't f*ck with Dudley Moore and Kirk Cameron, alright? Actually, that's not true - they can screw with Cameron all they want; he's been a religious nutball for the past 15 years. But you don't mess with Judge Reinhold and Fred Savage, alright? These are Hollywood heroes, along with being amongst the best of the Seinfeld guest stars.

This is all a long way of saying that I could not care less about 17 Again. Does anyone (outside of teenage girls, who don't count)?
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 17% (ok, it's really 0%, but I couldn't resist)

9 people have chosen wisely: on "Something completely unrelated...and then TGITDNMAR (4/17/09)"

Nick said...

Yeah, I totally need the drop down format for R2D2. The current Scroll Box (which I also ripped from the LAMB) is a bit laborious. Like the new format!

And you definitely need to see Crank. And although I liked both Wanted and Crank, the biggest difference between the two is that Crank doesn't take itself seriously. It knows exactly what it is and exploits it well.

Crank 2 is about 10x more over-the-top, though.

And Dwight Yoakum is in the first Crank, as well. He has a great character.

Fletch said...

Thanks, thief! ;) No, glad you like it, and I'd be more than happy to "share" the code with you.

Yea, I want to see Crank. And I saw that Yoakam and Efren Ramirez were both in the first and returned here. Still - the eclectic-ness (?) of the cast is too much.

J.D. said...

Does anyone (outside of teenage girls, who don't count)?I'm not sure how to answer that.

J.D. said...

(UGH, why do the line breaks keep disappearing when I comment here?)

Nick said...

Yeah, Efren is good in the first, but I loved him even more in the second. He was one of my favorite parts of Crank 2.

Rachel said...

Like the new drop down boxes. I just have an archive page with all my posts in alphabetical order that I update whenever I put up a new review. And I have links at the bottom of the page that pull up all reviews under a certain rating.

And I agree about the whole "What the hell was I thinking with that rating?" observation. When I went from my grading scale to my reel rating scale, I went back to the beginning and gave every movie a reel rating. I actually ended up changing quite a few in the process.

Fletch said...

J.D. - Um...you're not just a heartbreaker, but a linebreak breaker?

I have no idea. It doesn't seem to be happening to anyone else.

I'm so sorry - I forgot about the teenage boys that might also be in love with Zack. I'm not sure how to respond to that. ;)

Rachel - "And I have links at the bottom of the page that pull up all reviews under a certain rating."

Yea, that was something I wanted to do as well, but thankfully, this method of archiving takes care of two birds with one stone, so I don't need to go back and add tags to everything. That would suck...

I thought about changing ratings but decided against it. I figure once something's written, it's more or less in stone, just as it would be if this were a newspaper or broadcast media. If I stunk, I stunk.

Reel Whore said...

The new drop-down boxes are the bomb. I need the same for reelwhore...except my recent ratings change stumbles that idea. Hrrmm.

You must watch Crank! Nick is right that Crank 2 is 10x more over the top, maybe even 20x. Efran's xter was way better this time around!

State of Play looks good, but I couldn't recall that name to save my life. I'll be in line at the crack of dawn the day Extract opens.

I am not a teenage girl, but I will be seeing 17 again, obviously for the Trach and totally not for Efron. Although, his SNL footrub skit was hilarious!

Farzan said...

State of Play was great, easily one of the best thriller to come out in some time.