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Jan 16, 2009

TGITDNMAR (1/16/09)

It's that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released.

Damn! How could I have possibly missed this feature last week? Bride Wars came out! I suck. Quick show of hands - how many of you saw it? If your hand is raised, kindly use the other one to navigate away from this site.

Yeah, it's like that.

On to this week's terrific slate! Between four movies, I'm guessing my combined chance of viewing them is less than 100%. Sweet!

My Bloody Valentine 3-D
Is it just because horror casts (and audiences) trend younger, or is there some sort of alternate Hollywood that populates horror flicks (and only horror flicks)? I swear, every time a new one comes out, I look at the cast and it's filled with people I've never heard of - and that's a strange experience for me. For this one, the only people on this full cast list whose names I recognize are star Jamie King, character actor Kevin Tighe, and Kerr Smith (though I don't know why I recognize this name).

Who the hell are the rest of these people?
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 6% (in 3-D!)

I can't say I had much interest in seeing the biopic of one Christopher Wallace anyhow, as I was never really a fan of his, but even if I had been, these two tidbits would be more than enough to tell me to avoid it like the plague:

* "Executive produced by Sean Combs"
* "Co-starring Christopher Jordan Wallace"

That's right - the film is brought to you by his best friend and features his son playing him as a child.

Gimme a break.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 0%

Paul Blart: Mall Cop
How telling is this? The featured "User comment" on IMDb for this film right now states "It's not but, but it isn't anything to write home about."

Be sure to read that twice. Hmmm...

Would you be any more interested in seeing Blart if I told you that it was from the director of Daddy Day Camp, Dr. Doolittle 2, and Are We Done Yet? No? Oh, but why? What if I told you it was a Happy Madison production (Strange Wilderness, Bedtime Stories)?

What if I just shot you in the head? Better yet, let's put Bobby Cannavale out of his misery. All that goodwill from The Station Agent...gone.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 0%

Hotel for Dogs
If you had told me three months ago that a kids/animal movie would be my highest-rated for any week of this feature, I would have called you crazy.

Of course, that still doesn't mean I'm interested. Just more so than the other garbage being released. Though Don Cheadle co-stars...Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 10%

Wow...I was way off. My total percentage ended up being 16%. Oy.

3 people have chosen wisely: on "TGITDNMAR (1/16/09)"

the editor., said...

Fletch said,"how many of you saw it? If your hand is raised, kindly use the other one to navigate away from this site." haha!

Fletch, I haven't watched this movie yet, therefore, I guess, I can finish posting my comment about this film. This movie may do well at the boxoffice...

(I will check Farzan's blog "At the Movie with Farzan,"
...when he post the boxoffice intake...I think that, he already posted the boxoffice intake for "Bride War?!?" hmmm...

...Who knows when it come to the movie goer(s) "taste," but as far as, I am concern the trailer for the film "Bride Wars" is really "unimpressive" it don't actually shout out!...an "Original" plot, but the moviegoing public may em...)


Nick said...


I saw My Bloody Valentine 3-D, of course. And in actual 3-D! I was amazed (that we got the movie in 3-D. Not at the actual movie).

Dead Pan said...

dude. I am totally going to see My Bloody Valentine 3D...why? Cause it's fucking hilarious looking.