Survivor: Gabon - Episode 3 Live Blog/Recap

In a shocking move, the Fong tribe ousted Sarah Palin unanimously. I'm heartbroken for her and her family. They needed that million dollars more than most, what with all those mouths to feed.

Here's some exclusive bonus video from her testimonial. Enjoy!

Alright - we're back live. Before we begin, I'd to let you know that a Fletch-Mrs. Fletch ticket will fight for the American People on Main Street in their fight against Wall Street and greed and corruption while making a fight for real change and reform. We will be the American People that the American People want the American People to be while the American People are watching other American People on TV. And so, we'll start by watching real American People from Main Street fight for a million dollars on Survivor.

American People. Ronald Reagan. Surge. American People. Tax cuts. Create jobs. Americ--

We get it!!

Ok. Really starting now.

8:05: Randy has quickly taken the torch from last week's first ouster (Michelle?) as the village grump at the Fang (Fong) tribe. Common sense or not, he's annoying me already. Then again, passive-aggresive sensitive sally G.C. ain't much higher on my popularity scale.

8:10: It's a sand eating, skin losing, nail tearing drag out battle royale for the Reward Challenge - bedding. And in a shocking turn of events, Bob reveals himself to have been the inspiration for the Jack Skellington character in The Nightmare Before Christmas. Dude - eat some carbs or something.

Oh, and Fong finally wins a meaningful challenge. For their sake, I hope they didn't use all their energy here. They send "Sugar" to Exile Plateau or whatever the hell it is.

8:19: Have you ever - ever! - watched Ghost Whisperer? Has anyone? I know it's an easy target, but damnit, I see ads for that retarded show every week and I'm sick of it.

8:21: Muh muh muh my Paloma! My my my my my...muh muh muh my Paloma!

8:23: What happens when "Sugar" cries? There's a joke in there somewhere, but I'm not sure where...

8:25: This must be a really slow episode - we've been watching this idiot walk back and forth for what seems like forever already.

8:26: At least there was a payoff. She found the idol. Awesome. As if Exile Plateau weren't a bad enough idea already, they keep making the idol easy enough to find that these people need only go there once to get it - seemingly in about two hours. I'm bored.

8:31: Ok, someone from the Kota tribe has to be going home tonight, right? We've been with them for way too much time already.

8:32: Cool - a slip'n'slide challenge! It hasn't started yet, but I'm declaring this the best challenge ever. Ozzy would destroy the competition here...

8:37: Wow. Not only the s'n's, but a complicated math puzzle for finish out the challenge. Can I just do the whole challenge for my team? Not the best challenge ever, but a lot of fun.

8:42: Idiot! Why do the people that find the hidden idols always immediately tell someone that they found it? They just CAN'T WAIT to kill any advantage that having it gave them, can they? (I need more ways to emphasize text...)

8:44: Just so you don't forget, I wanted to let you know that I'm fighting for you, the American People. Never forget.

8:47: Can the Kota tribe pleeeeeease have a member named Gary?

8:48: Are there identical blonde twins on this tribe that I don't know about? They both look the same and are both generally invisible.

8:52: Ace, Paloma - I really can't say that I care which one goes home. I find both equally annoying.

8:53: Muh muh muh my Paloma...is gone. Whatev. By the way, did you know that Crystal the Olympian is 6'3"?

8:56: Insert witty ending here. See ya next week.

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