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Sep 2, 2008

Potential outcomes from a weekend in Vegas

(Editor's note: This is the post I had scheduled for Friday before a massive storm came in Thursday night and knocked out our internet connection and didn't come back until after I'd left town. Enjoy nonetheless.)

I'm headed to Las Vegas again this weekend for that other geek past time of mine - a fantasy football draft. It's been pointed out to me that I have a penchant for films set in Vegas, but who can blame me? Along with my Bowling=Good Movie Theory (The Big Lebowski, Kingpin, Uncle Buck, Teen Wolf - see my Fletch's Favored Five Movies That Roll post for more), the Vegas = Good Movie Theory wouldn't be far behind (Ocean's, Fear and Loathing, Go, etc.). Sure, there are exceptions (I haven't seen 21 yet, but word of mouth isn't exactly sparkling), but they're both pretty solid theories. And don't you dare tell me Teen Wolf isn't a good flick.

Anyway, I was thinking of the many directions my trip might turn. Here's a sliding scale of Vegas movie results I might befall.

THE DREAM: Ocean's Eleven
Let's see...get released from jail....hook up with best bud. Head out to Vegas and rob ex-girlfriend's new guy of many many millions...get away with it and get ex-gal back. Does it get any better?

NOT TOO SHABBY: Vegas Vacation
Sure, Rusty (version 4) had to endure some time with Cousin Eddie and the gang, but the under-21 son of Clark Griswold managed simultaneously to get a fake ID and the best name on a fake ID this side of McLovin (Nick Pappageorgio), then went on a winning streak, including taking home 4 brand new cars - one for each member of his family.

MAKES FOR A GREAT STORY, BUT THAT'S ABOUT IT: Go
Our friend from across the pond, Simon, first gets stuffed into a trunk for the LA-Vegas drive. He gets released from there somewhere in the desert, then releases the contents of his stomach. Sure, he loses some money gambling, but he avoided the shrimp at the buffet and thereby also avoided the subsequent runs that some of his pals got. Then he crashes a wedding, takes part in a threesome, starts a fire, steals a Ferrari, hits a strip club Champagne Room, gets involved in a long car chase, and ends up getting shot in the arm (on purpose). Talk about a crazy weekend.

SURE, I LIKE CHAIRS: Knocked Up
Ben and Pete's trip went something like this: blackjack, strip club, acid, Cirque du Soleil, bonding while tripping and freaking out over chairs. Could be better, could be worse.

STUCK INSIDE OF VEGAS WITH THE PHOENIX BLUES AGAIN: Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Hard to say if Dr. Gonzo and Raoul Duke had a good time in Sin City. Interesting? Scary? Hell yes. Fun? Not so much. Between the intense hallucinations, paranoia, intense vomiting, attempted suicides and run-ins with John Q. Law (in the person of Gary Busey, no less), I'd say this was mostly a weekend to avoid.

IF HE'S SUCH A MAGIC MAN, CAN HE MAKE MY EARS STOP HURTING?: Swingers
Poor Mikey. His Vegas trip probably resembles most people's. Wild excitement on the drive/flight in ("Vegas, baby, Vegas!"), only to be crushed by the cruel mistress that gambling is ("Always double down on eleven"), and ending with listening to way too much Heart in the back of some trailer. Only, sub out the Heart and the trailer for Air Supply (currently playing at the Orleans) and the trailer for a shared hotel room.

ARE YOU KIDDING? A BROKEN FINGERNAIL CREEPS ME OUT: Casino
Whenever you think you might want to cheat in Vegas...just watch Casino again. 'Nuff said.

SOUNDS MESSY: Leaving Las Vegas
Along with The Wicker Man, my favorite Nic Cage movie. Guess why...

TORTUROUS: What Happens in Vegas
I have no idea what actually happens to the characters, I'm just talking about watching it. That would be the worst.


10 people have chosen wisely: on "Potential outcomes from a weekend in Vegas"

Jess said...

Fletch, that's my favorite scene from Knocked Up. I hope you remembered to count the different types of chairs in your room in Vegas.

Daniel G. said...

Hehe, nice rundown here. I had a couple of drafts myself this weekend, but unfortunately one was online and one was just in my friend's living room. In fact, like another great scene in Knocked Up!

Fletch said...

Jess - just one chair in my hotel room, though there were also two beds and a sofa. All for $55 - thank god for the Orleans!

Daniel - this is the 9th or 10th year for this league, and this was (I believe) the 5th year in a row for a Vegas draft. As you can imagine, it keeps getting bigger and better every year. This time around, we took the draft out of a hotel room and into a local bar where they have a bunch of big screens and a custom fantasy app to run the draft from. Pretty sweet deal all around.

I'll have to gauge interest in running a LAMB League next year. I don't think interest is too high, but we'll probably have >300 sites as members by then, so we ought to be able to get at least 12-16 teams going...

Daniel G. said...

Speaking of which, I need to get my act together for the Box Office Mogul league. I checked last week and something was fishy with the site, like you couldn't start a new season or something...

Nic Cage said...

Vegas Vacation is awesome! Nic Pappageorgio is a great character.

You did forget to mention Very Bad Things...great dark Vegas movie with a badass cast.

Oh and the death of my character is not something that you should be happy about. For shame Fletch...for shame :(

Mrs Fletch said...

Sounds like your trip was most similar to "Go" - only without a threesome, the fire, the gun or the Ferrari.

Fletch said...

Nic - I didn't forget Very Bad Things...I just don't like that flick.

Mrs. Fletch - as far as you know...

;)

I feel like I was in Fear and Loathing. Or at least, I did on Sunday.

Jeep Parts said...

This is my favorite scene.

Anonymous said...

Fletch you were in Vegas and didn't hit me up, I could have played the Trent to your Mikey and nailed a hot cocktail waitress while you were crying in your room about how lame you are

-Gay

Fletch said...

Jeep Parts - which is your favorite scene? There are a bunch listed.

Gay - I was under the impression that you were in Alaska. Was I wrong?