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Jul 11, 2008

TGITDNMAR (7/11/08)

It's that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released.

Instead of creepy looking monsters, can Hellboy instead do us all a favor and attack the other films being released this weekend? Pretty please? 7 days and counting until The Dark Knight. Oh, and if you're interested, Big Mike is hosting a Batman Blog-a-thon over at his site - check it out.

Hellboy II: The Golden Army
Am I the only one worried that the series of James Lipton "interviews" with Hellboy will be better than the film itself?

Don't get me wrong - I don't expect this to be a bad movie - I just don't expect it to be great, either, and those spots certainly were. I'm actually a bit of a divided opinion on this. I hadn't seen the first installment until a couple months ago, and while I enjoyed it, it wasn't near as good as it was made out to be. What it and this sequel appear to be are vehicles for Guillermo del Toro to make bizarre, beautiful, evil playthings. That's a good thing, but I'd like to have an engaging plot as well.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 75%, or equal to Ron Perlman's age. I keed, I keed.

Journey to the Center of the Earth
Brendan Fraser and no one else you've ever heard of star in this Jules Verne adaptation. You're dying to see it, aren't you?

Fraser pisses me off as an actor. The guy clearly has talent (see School Ties, Gods and Monsters or With Honors for examples), but seemingly is attracted to crappy movies like moths to a flame. Dudley Do Right? George of the Jungle? Monkeybone? A serious lack of edge seems to be culprit, no doubt influenced by his Canadian upbringing. Just once, wouldn't you like to see Fraser play a cold-blooded killer?

As for this story - I'm gonna hold out for the movie version of Land of the Lost (seriously - it's coming out next year and starring Will Ferrell. I can't wait to see the Sleestaks.)
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 6%...or equal to the chance that Brendan Fraser has to choke a b*tch.

Meet Dave
Dave director Brian Robbins must be stopped. The former Head of the Class co-star turned to directing and producing in the early 90s and, save for one project that I really enjoy to this day (Varsity Blues), is the man that should be held fully responsible for the downfall of mankind, if and when that happens. Let's take a look at a few "hits" from his resume:

Good Burger (director)
Norbit (director)
Coach Carter (producer)
The Perfect Score (director)
Dreamer: Inspired by a True Story (producer)
Hard Ball (director)
Summer Catch (producer)
Ready to Rumble (director)
Wild Hogs (producer)

Now, I'm a fan of sports, and of sports movies, but there's not a decent project listed above, sports movie or not. I think it's time we just attributed his Varsity Blues credit to whoever directed Friday Night Lights and put this guy out of his misery, or at least out of ours. He's about a step away from the Nic Cage Hall of Fame right now...
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 0%, or less than the odds that Murphy makes a third sci-fi comedy.


13 people have chosen wisely: on "TGITDNMAR (7/11/08)"

Daniel G. said...

Having never seen the first Hellboy, but having now seen the sequel, I have to say it's a lot better than you might expect.

For my money (actually I didn't have to spend any to see it - free public screening earlier this week), the special effects, action and production pack more of a punch than any similar comic book/superhero movie this year.

Nick said...

Just got home from Hellboy... review will be up shortly. It IS better than the first, surprisingly enough.

On a separate note, I have to stick up for Good Burger. I love that movie; it's one of my guilty pleasures. Then again, I was a big fan of the original 'All That' which inspired it.

NFL Adam said...

Brendan Fraser should be the natural for a "Land of the Lost" movie. Why give that to Will Ferrell? He's going to ruin it. I recently saw "Wedding Crashers" for the first time and his part was perfect for him. Those are the kind of roles that he should be doing. But now he's ruining "Land of the Lost?" Horrible.

So who plays his kids? Justin Long and Lindsey Lohan? Or if Lohan is in rehab, maybe they can get Anna Friel.

NFL Adam said...

And Tim Roth as Chalka! I'm going to change my vote to Miley Cirus for Holly. Anna would be too old.

NFL Adam said...

The Sleestak could be Ron Pearlman, that dude from Napoleon Dynamite or ... I have nothing else. I'll go now.

Clive Dangerously said...

I have high hopes that the imminent failure of Meet Dave, along with the failure of The Love Guru, will spell the end of Eddie Murphy and Mike Meyer's careers. They should have pulled a Jerry Seinfeld and retired while still on the top rather than embarrassing themselves and tarnishing their reputations.

Clive Dangerously said...

And Good Burger is AMAZING.

Nick said...

*high-fives Clive for the Good Burger love*

Paul Arrand Rodgers said...

Don't dare put Good Burger on a list of bad flicks with Norbit. Take it back, Fletch, this instant!

Fletch said...

Just got back from Hellboy II - yes, it was very good (and better than the first). Still, Daniel - if you liked the 2nd, you should see the 1st.

@ Nick, Clive and Paul - ok, I take it back. Truth be told, I haven't seen Good Burger (shit, I haven't seen half the ones I listed), but was going off a strong hunch and/or the words of others. Yes, I'm wildly guilty of pre-judging films.

@ Adam - yea, Fraser would have been a good pick for LOTL. I'm not wildly familiar with the show (I saw it, but I wouldn't say I watched it, but Ferrell does seem an odd choice. I'm curious to see, though, what tone they go for.

I'd have to say Doug Jones for the Sleestak, considering how he's the standard bearer these days for costumed characters.

I have no opinion on the kids...

Nick said...

Oh, and I also have to say that I like The Perfect Score, as well. It's like The Breakfast Club, but with Scarlett Johansson as a sexy goth-ish nerd.

Handsome B. Wonderful said...

I'll check out Journey but I don't much care for Fraser either.

elgringo said...

Seven words: Good Burger ruled and you know it.

Scott
he-shot-cyrus.blogspot.com