Survivor: Micronesia Episode 11 recap

In 2034, Survivor, celebrating its 75th season, will finally be enshrined with a space in the Smithsonian. Amongst the collectible and memories will be tributes to the game's best players like Ozzy and firefighter Tom and Dick Hatch. There might be a plaque for Jeff Probst, along with vintage immunity idols and puzzle pieces. However, my favorite part will be the section devoted to the game's stupidest players of all time. Jamie from China would certainly be a first-ballot member, what with her immunity idol boner that set the stage for this Eliza's similar faux pas this season. Surely, though, the star of the Survivor Stupids would be Jason, who not only put Eliza in that precarious position earlier this season, but who has had a treasure trove's worth of idiotic moments over the past few weeks.

The hits didn't stop coming in episode 11, as Jason fell prey to a group of "black widows" and a really short term memory. Last week, we saw Poseidon himself, Ozzy, get bamboozled out of his hidden immunity idol after being attacked behind the back by Parvati, Cirie and the Invisigirls. Meanwhile, Jason's neck was cleared only due to said bamboozling and perhaps some goodwill from his decision to step down from the immunity challenge to feed his mates. Cut to this week: at an auction reward challenge, Natalie (aka Monkey Girl) wins the right to send someone to Exile Island and steal their auction cash. Persona non grata Jason immediately turns on the sprinklers, begging Natalie "Please don't send me there; I've been there too much lately blah blah blah." Natalie, not wanting to anger any of her newfound friends, quickly decides to send Jason away, despite the threat of his finding the newly re-hidden immunity idol (since Ozzy no longer has use for it). Naturally, the opportunity to find the idol and save his butt is lost on Jason.

(Quick digression: this "hidden immunity idol" on Exile Island is a joke. They ought to re-name it the "scavenger hunt idol," since that's really all it is. Jason spent a day or two on Exile and found the idol with seemingly no trouble. This was just a few weeks after he went to Exile and found the fake Ozzy had left behind, also with seemingly no trouble. These idols are not hidden. Leaving a bunch of clues that can be easily deciphered and require little more than the ability to swim does not a hidden idol make. And besides, if a nimrod like Jason can figure out the clues that easily, they must not be all that difficult. It's time for really hide the idol, like it was during Survivor: Guatemala. There, the contestants were plopped into the middle of a forest, more or less, and told that the idol was out there somewhere. That is a hidden idol. End digression.)

So, like I said, Jason found the idol in no time flat. This threw a big monkey wrench into Monkey Girl's plan, as Jason was to be ousted at the next tribal council. Quickly, the black widows (Cirie, Parvati, Alexis and Natalie) forged a plan that entailed making Jason so sure of his place in the tribe that he wouldn't feel the need to play his idol. Fast forward through an entertaining immunity challenge that saw birthday boy Erik squeak out a win over James (just what the ladies wanted, no less), and there's Natalie telling Jason post-challenge that she sent him to Exile on purpose, as she wanted him to find the idol. Desperately seeking approval, the guy of course buys it hook, line, and sinker.

Meanwhile, James and Amanda, previously seen left twisting in the wind following Ozzy's ouster, discuss their strategies for the upcoming council. Unfortunately, they have no plans, though James mentions that "Jason would be stupid not to play his idol." Well, you know what that means...

Predictably, Jason does not play his idol, allowing the chicas to vote him out in a close 4-3-1 vote (3 for James, and one for Parvati). However, as glad as I am to see a dumb player gone, I can't help but hold some contempt for the foursome of James, Amanda, Erik and Jason, who, had they realized it, were in complete control of the night's vote. With Amanda fully aware of the other ladies' plan to split their votes yet be rid of Jason, all she had to do was gather the guys together and have them agree on another lady to vote out (like, say, Natalie, who went from Invisigirl to full-on annoying bitch, basking in the glow of her brilliance. She was featured more on this show than on all the previous ones.). That's all it would have taken for Amanda and the boys to reclaim the power in the game. Instead, they wield no power, and James and Erik will be picked off in the coming weeks, assuming one of them doesn't win all of the immunity challenges and/or find the "hidden" idol again.

Boo bad players.

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