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Apr 10, 2008


Being not just a member, but also the president of the LAMB, I find myself perusing a plentitude of sites on a daily basis. I like to "keep up with the kids" and stay "in the know" with all the "hot" topics that people in "the real world" are writing about. I also like to overuse "quotation marks," especially when they aren't necessary.

Anyway, I've noticed a couple of things lately that are starting to bug me. They aren't the fault of any one person, and taken on their own, there isn't necessarily anything wrong with them. But collectively...well, that's another story. Allow me to explain:

Fletch to announce Disney's plans to announce its animation schedule for the next three decades

Really, is this news? In case you hadn't heard - and really, how could you not? - Disney/Pixar has (!) released their animation schedule for the next three years or so. Basically, it's just a list of titles and dates. Seeing this post in one place was surely enough, but I happened to see it about 10 times in the span of a day. Sure, Pixar/Disney has made some great movies in the past decade or so, but does anyone really sit around waiting for the news of when some movie you've never even heard of will be released? By the way, Sony called me to say that they're releasing "Hippopotamus" in 2011. It's a tale about...oh, that's right - who cares? It's not as though it's an adapted book or some other previously heard of work - that's just a name and a date. Please make it stop.

My next great movie idea

This rant is directed more at Hollywood than at any bloggers; it's just that I happened to catch a ton of references to zombie films lately out there in Blogland. Hasn't the zombie film been run into the ground yet? (Try writing something like that without there being a bad pun involved. It's harder than you think. "Done to death?" No. "Beating a dead horse?" Huh-uh.)

Either way, all the talk about dead people milling about has given me my idea for a zombie flick. It's called Zombie of the Zombies. The protagonist is a young man that happens to be a zombie. He wakes up one day (hungry for flesh and feeling a bit rigor-mortis-y, naturally) and notices that some of the zombies around him have started turning...zombier. This obviously freaks his 5-cell mind out. He's panicked, in a constant state of terror (and hunger). He couldn't stand (or comprehend) the thought of his zombie girlfriend and their adopted zombie children turning zombier, as he would then have to kill them. He does everything he can think of - namely, killing and eating the few remaining humans left and walking around a lot - to prevent this from happening. Hey, at least he's trying something. In the end, he makes a valiant effort to stop the zombiers from getting his clan, and succeeds in saving their zombie lives, only to be turned zombier himself. It's really heartbreaking, I tell you. However, it does set itself up perfectly for the sequel:

Zombier of the Zombiers

6 people have chosen wisely: on "Enough!"

Evan Derrick said...

Yes! I find pointless affirmation in the fact that my site did not post said Pixar related news. I rock.

WaywardJam said...

I hear if Hippo does good BO, Sony is planning a spin-off in 2013, tentatively titled Platypus.

Love the zombie movie idea! Totally agree that the genre is a bit overdone at this point.

My wife is beginning to wonder if we weren't separated at birth! I had a very similar too many zombies" conversation after watching Fido a few weeks back. It gave me my own idea for a zombie short. Like to hear it, here it goes:

...Actually I got a bit carried away with the description. I'll post it over on my site if anyone's interested.

Anonymous said...

C'mon ... there's never too many zombie movies, just like there's never too many vampire movies, Saw sequels and ... wha'? I must've dozed off there ...

Fletch said...

@ Evan - congrats on not mentioning Disney/Pixar. I award you the Golden Mooby, which we can share. I get it next week, though...

@ Wayne - I just got word that Platypus is indeed on the schedule for 2013. I also got some inside info on Fox's 2019 prime-time schedule. American Dildo is gonna be a kick ass show!

@ Rick - Sorry, I missed your comment. I was out watching Prom Night, When a Stranger Calls and 14 other horror remakes from the last 30 years. Then I shot myself.

Anonymous said...

As long as people continue to worship 2000 year old zombies, I don't see an end to Zombie fascination anytime soon.

I, at least hope it doesn't end. I am going to be using zombies in my upcoming webcomic as well - only I intend to incorporate zombie politics.

SizzlingPopcorn.com Admin said...

Hey Fletch, I agree with you that Hollywood needs to put out some more creative movies! Here's an article I wrote a month or so ago titled "Can Hollywood Come Up With Better Ideas?".