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Sep 18, 2007

A really bad movie idea that cracks me up nonetheless

Arnold Schwarzenegger's Kindergarten Cop has been a neverending source of comedy since it's arrival some 17 years ago. Upon release, people thought it was actually a cute, amusing story - showcasing the hardened detective played by Ahnuld turned into a sweet, giant teddy bear by a gang of 5 year olds, some of which got some of the best lines themselves ("It might be a tumor," "Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina!").

However, what's really turned into the comedy goldmine over the years (at least for me and a few friends) are just various lines said by Schwarzenegger over the course of the film, most of which are made funny only by the big guy's accent and timing ("I'm Detective John Kimble! I'm a cop, you idiot!"; "Who is your daddy and what does he do?"). For more fun with these, I direct you to one of the many Arnold soundboards over at eBaum's World.

Anyhow, that's not totally what this is about. See, this weekend, another blockbuster from the early 90s showed up on cable and I got sucked in. In fact, it's another movie that involves a Kimble and a bunch of cops.

Tonally, The Fugitive couldn't be much different from Kindergarten Cop, yet all I could dream of afterwards was a mashup of the two movies in which a detective goes undercover as a kindergarten teacher while looking for the one-armed man who killed his wife.

"I'm detective John Richard Kimble! I'm looking for a one-armed man, you idiot!!"

My deepest apologies if this doesn't bring a smile to your face, as it does mine. If not, try to think of some other films where the characters have the same last name that could be mashed up. There's bound to be something that cracks you up. Perhaps Pulp Fiction's Marsellus Wallace and Weird Science's Gary Wallace (Anthony Michael Hall)?

2 people have chosen wisely: on "A really bad movie idea that cracks me up nonetheless"

Sheamus the... said...

i would watch this on Tv all the time as a kid.

Matt said...

It's not a tumah!

I've said that like a million times.