It's that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released.
Ah...just three wide releases this week, with a handful of limited ones (of which I'm profiling only one). That's more like it. Note to Hollywood: don't ever release 12 movies in one weekend again, please, regardless of their quality. I can't take it.
Body of Lies
Part 2 of Ridley Scott's "Lead characters that never share screen time," apparently. I can't wait to watch Brad Pitt and Denzel Washington "star" in some drama where one is in the North Pole while the other is in Paraguay - should be awesome.
I wasn't excited about seeing this from the trailers, as American Gangster left me pretty cold, and I'm not a huge Crowe fan, and this didn't help matters, either.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 20%, or the chance that Leo's character survives until the end credits. (And Daniel - I wrote all of this in your comments section first. The recycling is happening here.)
RocknRolla
Well, the lustre has certainly been snatched from Guy Ritchie's diamond over the last few years, and -- wait a sec, did I really just use that horrible "snatch" reference? I did indeed. Sorry about that.
Anyway, the point still stands. I would bet that even Brooklyn, Donut, Six-Pack and whatever the rest of MadGuy's kids names' are haven't even seen Guy's last three films. Bonus points - can you name them without cheating (the movies, not the kids)? I couldn't, and I'd consider myself a fan of his.
This one thankfully seems to be him bringing it all back home, going to his roots, and any other euphemism there is for when someone gives up on trying the alternative and reverts to the tried and true. With an "edgy" cast (which must not be edgy if I'm using the hack term edgy), including Ludacris, Jeremy Piven and Tom Wilkinson in a bald cap and a dumb name, the crowds are sure to pile in. Or not.
Speaking of that cast, get ready to have yourself some Mark Strong overload. I wouldn't have recognized the name two weeks ago, but his appearance here and in Body of Lies (in what is being called the best performance of the movie by many), along with his kickass resume over the last few years (Stardust, Syriana, Sunshine, uh, Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day) tells me that we're only going to hear more from him. The downside? One of his next projects is the Nic Cage-starrer Kick-Ass. There goes that good buzz...
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 50%, if it hits Phoenix. If not...video.
City of Ember
Obviously, I don't watch enough Nickelodeon or Disney Channel or wherever the hell they're adverting this flick. Sure, I've heard of it, but I've seen nary a commercial, much less a trailer. Thumbs down for the marketing department there, as with Tim Robbins and Bill Murray aboard, there's plenty of appeal for adults.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 10%, on principal alone. If I'm not good enough to advertise to, maybe I don't want to see your crappy "Family" film. Jerks.
Quarantine
I don't have much of an angle here that can't be surmised from seeing one commercial for this: look, it's a Blair Witch rip mixed with a Cloverfield rip, which itself was also a Blair Witch rip of sorts. Throw in a helping of 28 Weeks Later..., The Descent, and/or some other zombie movie and watch my interest level fall. Meh.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 2%. You know, I was fine with the alternative commercial style (with the name of the flick and/or website on the top of the screen) when Forgetting Sarah Marshall did it, but I'm already sick of it. I think. Or maybe this movie just has no appeal for me. What a downer to end on.
And then...
Ah...just three wide releases this week, with a handful of limited ones (of which I'm profiling only one). That's more like it. Note to Hollywood: don't ever release 12 movies in one weekend again, please, regardless of their quality. I can't take it.
Body of LiesPart 2 of Ridley Scott's "Lead characters that never share screen time," apparently. I can't wait to watch Brad Pitt and Denzel Washington "star" in some drama where one is in the North Pole while the other is in Paraguay - should be awesome.
I wasn't excited about seeing this from the trailers, as American Gangster left me pretty cold, and I'm not a huge Crowe fan, and this didn't help matters, either.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 20%, or the chance that Leo's character survives until the end credits. (And Daniel - I wrote all of this in your comments section first. The recycling is happening here.)
RocknRollaWell, the lustre has certainly been snatched from Guy Ritchie's diamond over the last few years, and -- wait a sec, did I really just use that horrible "snatch" reference? I did indeed. Sorry about that.
Anyway, the point still stands. I would bet that even Brooklyn, Donut, Six-Pack and whatever the rest of MadGuy's kids names' are haven't even seen Guy's last three films. Bonus points - can you name them without cheating (the movies, not the kids)? I couldn't, and I'd consider myself a fan of his.
This one thankfully seems to be him bringing it all back home, going to his roots, and any other euphemism there is for when someone gives up on trying the alternative and reverts to the tried and true. With an "edgy" cast (which must not be edgy if I'm using the hack term edgy), including Ludacris, Jeremy Piven and Tom Wilkinson in a bald cap and a dumb name, the crowds are sure to pile in. Or not.
Speaking of that cast, get ready to have yourself some Mark Strong overload. I wouldn't have recognized the name two weeks ago, but his appearance here and in Body of Lies (in what is being called the best performance of the movie by many), along with his kickass resume over the last few years (Stardust, Syriana, Sunshine, uh, Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day) tells me that we're only going to hear more from him. The downside? One of his next projects is the Nic Cage-starrer Kick-Ass. There goes that good buzz...
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 50%, if it hits Phoenix. If not...video.
City of EmberObviously, I don't watch enough Nickelodeon or Disney Channel or wherever the hell they're adverting this flick. Sure, I've heard of it, but I've seen nary a commercial, much less a trailer. Thumbs down for the marketing department there, as with Tim Robbins and Bill Murray aboard, there's plenty of appeal for adults.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 10%, on principal alone. If I'm not good enough to advertise to, maybe I don't want to see your crappy "Family" film. Jerks.
QuarantineI don't have much of an angle here that can't be surmised from seeing one commercial for this: look, it's a Blair Witch rip mixed with a Cloverfield rip, which itself was also a Blair Witch rip of sorts. Throw in a helping of 28 Weeks Later..., The Descent, and/or some other zombie movie and watch my interest level fall. Meh.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 2%. You know, I was fine with the alternative commercial style (with the name of the flick and/or website on the top of the screen) when Forgetting Sarah Marshall did it, but I'm already sick of it. I think. Or maybe this movie just has no appeal for me. What a downer to end on.
