TGITDNMAR (1/28/11)

It's that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released.

Makes me sad to say this, but it does seem as though this whole parenthood thing will have an effect on our movie going after all. We though we could manage to escape at least once a week, but not yet. Perhaps we'll figure it out in time - we're certainly determined to. As such, just a warning that the percentages given in this series are bound to be lower on average for the foreseeable future (just so you know I'm not hating on the movies themselves...usually).

The Mechanic
No, I haven't seen the original. Didn't even know there was one until this came out. I've seen Death Wish...that's about the extent of my Charlie Bronson viewing. But does it even matter? Remake or no, this story seems about as familiar to us as our faces should be. Elements of Matchstick Men, The Transporter series, The Professional, and god knows how many other hitman movies. As such, the desire to see this is hinging entirely upon the film's stars, and in that sense, they've done pretty well. Ben Foster is a should-be-a-bigger-star kinda guy, mesmerizing at times (3:10 to Yuma, The Messenger) and just plain good even in trashier fare (X3, Alpha Dog). Statham...well, he's Statham. He never really changes much (did I mention that this shares elements with The Transporter series?), but he's cool and everyone seems to like him.

(Sidenote: Ben Foster has now appeared in The Punisher, The Messenger, and The Mechanic. Feel free to take guesses at what his next The ____ movie will be. I'm going with The Plumber.)
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 26%

The Rite
How ironic that this is about God and demons and such. Apparently, God has it out for Tony Hopkins, cursing his life by having him star in such shit during the twilight days of his career. (I'm going to safely assume that this is shit based not only off of what I see from the trailer, but the film's current RT score of 15%.)

The thing is, this isn't like Brett Favre finishing his career on a 6-10 Vikings team or George Foreman boxing until the age of 48. I haven't seen a lot of Hopkins work recently (who has?), but I saw him in 2007's Fracture and the man is surely still on his game. Is it bad decision-making on his part or a lack of quality scripts heading his way? I have to believe it's the former - certainly, there aren't a ton of roles out there for septuagenarians in general, but something tells me that when you're reaching the status and have the reputation that Hopkins does, you're never exactly hurting for work. Hell, Gene Hackman made The Royal Tenenbaums at the age of 71!

Basically, this leaves me at a loss. It hurts me to see Hopkins in tripe. Then again, perhaps the fault lies elsewhere on this one - The Rite, as it turns out, has a pretty deep cast of well-respected actors, including Alice Braga, Ciaran Hinds, Toby Jones and even Rutger Hauer. What happened?
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 3%