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Jan 15, 2010

TGITDNMAR (1/15/10)

It's that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released.

I'm ready for spring already. Just a dreadful slate of new releases, and I've seen 90% of what I'm even vaguely interested in seeing (and probably 60% of everything out there in total). Youth in Revolt, here we come, I guess.

The Book of Eli
I read a review of this earlier, and I don't think they were wildly giving anything away, but just in case...spoilers ahead.

So, the basic premise here is that battling religious forces in the recent past (I'm not sure who, but let's just say it's the most likely Christianity vs. Islam) combine to bring about the apocalypse. Time passes. Things looks grey (therefore depressing). Enter Eli. He has a BOOK. A magical book that will ►►► Deliver Us. It will save us.

What is it? A friggin' bible, of course. The last one remaining on Earth!!!

Now, this has little to do with my personal beliefs or yours. This is logic according to the film. Why would the (an) instrument of destruction be the same thing seen as the savior of the world? Why would the cycle not repeat?

I guess I'll just have to watch it to find out. Only I won't, because I don't really care. Cool knife, though.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 21%

The Spy Next Door
I don't blame the paycheck grabbers that made this. Times are tough, so if Billy Ray Cyrus and Amber Valletta want to cash in a bit on a safe "family" film, be my guest - it's not like their careers are going anywhere anyway, right?

No, shame on any consumer that actually encourages this kind of behavior from studios. Was Mr. Nanny not enough? The Pacifier? Are We There Yet? (and it's sequel, of course)? Parents, there is better fare out there for your children - I know it. Seek it out and see to it that another one of these movies is not made.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 0%

18 people have chosen wisely: on "TGITDNMAR (1/15/10)"

THN said...

Maybe it is the irony. Or that we finally got rid of Islam! (Kidding, people. Kidding.)

But I, too, hope they address that issue with this picture. But my obvious question here ... where is the K-Dawg? A gruff but likeable drifter in a post-apocalyptic world? This has Kevin Costner written all over it.

Rachel said...

Didn't have interest in Book of Eli, and now I really don't. Completely illogical, just like the premise of Legion (if God wants to destroy humanity, how is an angel going to stop GOD?)

Nick said...

Rachel: I think for maybe the second time ever, we disagree. I totally wanna see both Book of Eli and Legion, and I'm super psyched for both :P .

But maybe that's just the "I can accept most illogical scenarios in movies as long as they're fun" in me.

The Film Cynics said...

Immaturity rules. I want to watch Book of Eli because it reminds me of Fallout 3. End of argument. The fact that it has Denzel and Oldman in there is just a bonus.

Fletch, we nominated you for a Kreativ Blogger award. Enjoy it in good health.

JacksSmirkingRevenge said...

I've watched Book of Eli already and I thought it was pretty awesome. Gary Oldman is great as always as the bad guy.
The films premise isnt as simplistic as the review you paraphrased would lead you to believe. Gary Oldman doesnt want the book because he believes in the power of God. He wants it because he believes in the power of religion to control the masses, and he wants to use it to gain more power.

Rachel said...

Nick, I don't mind illogical scenarios as long as they're not the main plot of a film. I could be out of line with Legion, not knowing the exact context in which they'll present the religion aspect, but it still seems silly anyone trying to go against God, unless it's presented like in Dogma.

Fletch said...

THN - maybe there's a Costner cameo? We can dream, can't we?

No need for that spoiler alert, Jack. It certainly seemed as though that's what Oldman was angling for, but I still don't see how that changes the cycle one bit. That's exactly what the good book is used for these days as well.

I will say that having Oldman attached always ratchets up my interest level, so perhaps one day. But even the glimpses we get of the movie from the trailer bother me.

Mila: Teach me
Denzel: Okay


Mila: I kick ass now
Denzel: Let's hole up in this rickety shack for the final showdown. I'll use my big-ass knife.

Steve - muchas gracias!

JacksSmirkingRevenge said...

Well then, the trailer is misleading because thats not what happens.

Nick said...

Yeah, what JSR said. That's really not what happens.

The trailer actually is somewhat misleading, to be honest.

And I wouldn't say JSR's semi-spoiler is really much of a spoiler. I figured as much from the trailer myself. There's actually a much cooler twist near the end.

The Film Cynics said...

The Hughes Brothers set up a whole minefield of twists in this film with tricky use of misleading narrative language cues. They make you think something's about to happen because they way they showed you an earlier scene which had certain cues/clues in it... but when you see or don't see those cues again, you're totally caught off guard. Hard to explain, but makes for pleasantly surprising filmmaking for moviegoers who are too plugged in to the same old stuff.

Misleading trailers are so much better than revealing ones... People should be thanking the publicists for keeping everything in the dark.

Fletch said...

Ok, so perhaps it doesn't go exactly that way, but it ain't that far off.

Went and saw it tonight. Can't believe the praise y'all are giving it. Was wildly disappointed - short of the way far-fetched GOTCHA! at the end, it's amazingly by-the-numbers and would. not. end. Oh, but that's right, I need to have faith that all that was within the realm of possibility. Ugh.

If I wanted to watch a mashup between The Road and Waterworld - well, I wouldn't, let's just put it that way.

The Film Cynics said...

By the numbers? Really? I thought they played a bit of a shell game with the numbers and it worked very well... Seriously <(SPOILER)> the way the guy gets the book out of the TV then cuts to him bringing it out. It was totally a red herring narrative cue. Based on the way the movie was speaking it should have indicated that he'd made a switch or planted a bomb or something, but really it was nothing - just in there to make your noodle bake (or in your case, not so much).

Maybe we shouldn't have tried to build it up for you. It sounds like it wasn't as terrible as you were expecting, but not up to our counter-hype.

Paul Arrand Rodgers said...

Eh. It was well constructed enough, but there were really only two stand out action scenes, both of which were outclassed by Tom Waits and a first gen iPod. The end was incredibly lame, and I hate it when my action movies preach to me.

Nick said...

I agree with The Film Cynics. It had its moments where it totally didn't do as I expected, the "TV" thing being one of them (I thought exactly as he said, actually).

And I disagree with Paul... I didn't think it was preachy at all. I thought it handled the subject well. But then again, some people are touchy when it comes to this subject.

Paul Arrand Rodgers said...

Denzel: Pray with me.
Mila: What's praying?
Denzel: Just do it.

*she does*


Mila: Mom, pray with me.

I gagged.

The Film Cynics said...

Yeah, despite all my arguments in favour of this film, I cannot argue that point. The sudden religious conversion was too much. It was a narrative necessity and all, but was odd and the only moment of the film that seemed too preachy.

Fletch said...

Short of the example Paul provided, I didn't feel terribly preached to, and it's not that I felt preached to all that much even during those scenes - they just made Kunis' character out to be really naive, which she didn't appear to be until then. That and they served merely as a plot machination to ensure that Oldman knew what book Eli had.

Paul Arrand Rodgers said...

I think my feeling of being preached to relies on how I take the ending at whatever given moment.