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Dec 4, 2009

TGITDNMAR (12/4/09)

It's that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released.

Armored
Hey, Mr. Producer and/or Mrs. Casting Director! Do you want Matt Dillon in your next movie? Well, I hope it has an armored truck in it, 'cause if it don't Dillon ain't coming anywhere near it. At least, that's what I couldn't help but think after seeing the trailers to Armored and Takers (aka The Awful Poster Movie) back-to-back recently. Sure, it's kind of arbitrary, but it's like Keira Knightley and period flicks - is she not capable of acting in this time and age?

All of this is my way of saying that I have neither the interest to see this movie or the insight to properly analyze it, which probably ties back to that whole lack of interest thing.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 1%

Brothers
I know this movie deals with mature, adult subject matters, but...what is going on with that poster?

Tobey Maguire is topless, Natalie Portman appears to be wearing a bra or nightie whilst snuggling with his backside, and meanwhile here comes Jake Gyllenhaal from behind her, about to do god knows what.

If that poster isn't a visual translation for the exact events of the movie, I don't know what is. But did they have to be so literal about it? Sickos.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 89%

Everybody's Fine
Two things come to mind every time I hear or see something about this movie.

1. Awesome. As if Four Christmases wasn't bad enough, we now get the bizarro sequel to it: Three Christmases, this time with the parent visiting the children. And though it's being marketed as a drama (or perhaps dramedy), I'd wager that it'll end up beign loads funnier than the Vince Vaughn-Reese Witherspoon lump of coal that was delivered to theaters last year (intentionally or not).

2. A Serious Man has inadvertently ruined this movie. It's not the same quote by far, but it's close enough: I just can't help but think of Sy Abelman telling Larry Gopnik "we're gonna be fine," which leads me to wonder if this movie isn't 90 minutes of Bobby DeNiro running around the country, hugging his kids and telling them "we're gonna be fine." Which would be pretty awesome if you think about it.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 8%

Up In the Air
I like George Clooney a lot. We even did a LAMBcast about him, in case you missed it. But here's the deal: no actor, no matter how likable, and even if there are voice-only roles mixed in, should have three films released with the same six-week period (much less the four I think it's been). I'm not sure of what the exact calculation is (Is three in three months alright? How about four in a year? How much does the size of the role play a factor?), but I know that Clooney's the lead (or, in the case of Goats, the 1A) in all of them, and he's probably onscreen in Up In the Air for at least 95% of the runtime.

Of course I'll see it, and by all indications, I'm bound to like it...but two things need to happen to avoid boredom/overexposure to Mr. Clooney: A) You need to take a few months off, George, though I imagine since the last of these films finished up months ago, you might already be on hiatus (read: make it a longer hiatus than usual), and B) as I mentioned on said LAMBcast, Clooney needs to go wildly outside his comfort zone. I want to see him play a cold-blooded killer or a homeless sex addict or, hell, a drag queen or something. Go nuts - just be sure that you're not playing anything that resembles yourself (Tom Cruise in Collateral, anyone?). Thank me later.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 99%


16 people have chosen wisely: on "TGITDNMAR (12/4/09)"

blake said...

I think we have a different version of Up in the Air playing in my area. ;)

Univarn said...

I agree with blake. I believe Fletch has gone crazy and can no longer tell the difference between George Clooney playing a fox and George Clooney playing himself... someone get him to a psych ward quick!

Fletch said...

I suppose it's a good thing that I heard from 3 people in the span of 10 minutes about my screwup (for those that come later, I hadn't yet removed the Fox entry from the last TGITDNMAR where the Up In the Air poster is now). :D

It's fixed now, wisenheimers.

Nick said...

I'm actually excited for Armored, but I'm sure you figured that. It's a heist flick, and I'm a sucker for 'em. Plus, it has Heroes' Milo Venti-is-Italian-for-twenty... even though he's hardly featured in the trailers.

As for Brothers, I'm just excited that they finally decided to bank on the Gyllenhaal/Maguire resemblance by making them brothers in a movie (and then, in turn, *calling* said movie "Brothers").

I wanna see "Up in the Air," as well, but of course it didn't come here. Though I might be shorted out on Clooney anyway. I've been showing "O Brother, Where Art Thou?" to my students for the last couple days, since we're studying "The Odyssey" and it's a modern adaptation of it. However, I don't care how good a movie is, if you have to watch it 6 times in a row for about 3 days (as it takes about 2.5 to get through it with the time given), you start getting sick of it. I swear, come 5th period, I'm basically struggling not to just put my head down and go to sleep. Come 7th period, I'm staring out the window. Not to mention I have the "Sirens" song stuck in my head and probably will all weekend.

Anyway... off on a tangent there. I'll stop now.

Fletch said...

Nick - I likes me some heist flicks, too, but Armored seems less like a heist flick than an attempted heist flick that turns into a run-of-the-mill action flick.

Nope...didn't even know that Milo was in it.

Just got back from Brothers. Not all that great, but the acting is above average. And yeah, I enjoyed that aspect, too.

No Up In the Air here, either. Next week, I suppose. Don't feel too bad.

Do you have access to a computer during classtime? If so, can't you halfway zone out (I know you have to keep the kids in line, on occasion) and surf (or, god forbid, do other work)?

drencyon said...

i had huge interest to watch Armored movie and last night. it was good movie for me. but i can not say it is excellent as it was about normal heist story what we have seen normally .
source
http://blog.80millionmoviesfree.com/in-theaters/watch-armored-online

Nick said...

Fletch: Yeah, I have a computer, but there's pretty limited access to websites I can visit. Then there's the fact that it's facing my students, so they'd end up hovering around me asking questions. Then, 1) I let different students sit in my chair to watch the movie and 2) other students commandeered my computer for other reasons. But the whole thing is moot anyway, as I had to keep my attention on the movie, as I had to explain different parts and how they were such-and-such parts from The Odyssey.

Kano said...

Nick, how long did it take you to get a job? Are you in the English department? What grades?

I am just finishing my first semester in the master program. Had a two-week placement and loved it. Cant wait to get my own classroom.

El Caganer said...

Clooney smells like porch meat.

Nick said...

Kano: I graduated December 13, 2008. I didn't get a teaching job until pretty much the end of July 2009. It was a really sucky process of trying to find a job.

But yeah, I teach freshmen (9th grade) English.

Eric Davidson said...

I thought 'Brothers' was amazing all around, great storytelling in particular - the director went from one point to the next without messing around

Ryan said...

“BROTHERS" is a powerfully emotional landscape of deep loves & deeper conflicts, where war, violence & haunting doubt undermine the foundations of family & friendships, leaving all in unreasoning turmoil, casting about for some small bit of stability, normality & civility. Because of its superb ensemble cast, with standout performances by Maguire, Gyllenhaal, Portman, Shepard, Madison & Geare as a family nearly destroyed by stress, inner demons & war, BROTHERS is totally real & beautifully done, with memorable, noteworthy performances.

sheila said...

Brothers was an intense ride through the lives of the Cahill family. Glad to be out of the theater but can't stop thinking about it. A+ on both the acting and the story.

Mrs Fletch said...

I agree, Brothers was really good. But what about the Multiple random comments about how beautiful Natalie Portman is? Seemed out of place, and reminded me too much of The Room.

Paul Arrand Rodgers said...

Brothers was decent. The end was mega-cheesy. It was basically mega-cheesy from the minute Toby (SPOILER'D), and I couldn't help but laugh at his insane faces.

What a decidedly minor project for Jake G. and the randomly beautiful Natalie P.

Reel Whore said...

You know Armored is the good cheesy fun I like, so I'll be seeing that soon.

"I want to see him (Clooney) play a cold-blooded killer or a homeless sex addict or, hell, a drag queen or something."

I'd take any of the above, too! I think the killer or drag queen would be great. How about a killer drag queen?! Too much?