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Aug 28, 2009

TGITDNMAR (8/28/09)

It's that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released.

I picked a great week to go out of town (fantasy football draft in Vegas time again - yay!). Me not being a horror buff and all, I'm friggin' thrilled that this happens to be the week that two crappy looking horror flicks (sequels, of course) are hitting theaters. As a bonus, the might've-been-interesting-but-getting-blasted Taking Woodstock isn't exactly getting rave reviews, either.

Halloween II
Knowing that this series is (in one form or another) on its 10th film makes me somehow feel less hatred for George Luca$. What was great for a film or two has been stretched so thin that it seems like it's just the same movie coming out every three years. Hell, it might be - I haven't seen one since H:20. Is a guy that's by design lacking in personality really that strong of a character that he warrants 10 flicks?
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 0%

Taking Woodstock
What happened to the career-blossoming that was supposed to happen to Paul Dano following There Will Be Blood? No, he's no Daniel Day-Lewis, but who is? He was great, and I figured we'd be seeing a lot more of him in prestige roles. Instead, I didn't even know he was in this (albeit from a prestige director in Ang Lee) until a few days ago. He's not the star, and if the trailer and his character name ("VW Guy") are any indication, it doesn't look like his role is even worth the time I've spent writing this paragraph. What a shame.

On the bright side, with Dano, star Demetri Martin, Imelda Staunton, Liev Schrieber, Eugene Levy, Emile Hirsch, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, and Dan Fogler on board, this has a very nice cast.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 22%

The Final Destination
It would have been a lot funnier had they titled this THE Final Destination, to further drive the point home. Between this and the Fast & Furious naming, I see a new structure arising in Sequel Naming Land. Perhaps Hollywood, realizing that we're on to their "Franchise Name: Explainer" template, is just trying to stay a step ahead.

Unfortunately, I don't think they're fooling anyone. Fortunately, though, this gives me ample opportunity to dream up other potential sequel titles:

The Ice Age
The Iron Man
Harry Potter & Deathly Hallows
The Star Trek
The The Dark Knight
Harry Potter & Deathly Hallows: The Part II
The Pirates & The Carribean
Sex/City (or maybe The Sex)
The & Mummy

Ok, I give up.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 0%


7 people have chosen wisely: on "TGITDNMAR (8/28/09)"

mominsanity said...

The old school Halloween movies, at least the first two (with Jamie Lee Curtis) are classic. Then it got into a weird third or fourth movie where they were looking at haunted factories, then it was back to weird spinoffs.

books,coffee,etc.... said...

"As a bonus, the might've-been-interesting-but-getting-blasted Taking Woodstock isn't exactly getting rave reviews, either..."

Hi! Fletch,
I know a fellow blogger who said, "That it was "torture" to sit through the film Taking Woodstock." I guess that I can scratch this film off "me list!"


DeeDee ;-D

Ceri said...

Haha - So it's definitely a week of sucky sequels. I think they killed the beauty of the Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street and Friday the 13th films when they kept churning them out every year - let alone remaking them.

Freddy Kruger was such a badass in the first NOES - I mean, he was a caretaker who snatched kids and murdered them, for godssake. Now you see five year olds running around with his claw on.

*The* Final Destination. Lame. :-P

Nick said...

I didn't see the Rob Zombie remake of Halloween, so I have no real reason to go see the sequel to it.

However, I love the Final Destination movies (though the first is still the best), and I can't pass up a chance to see one in 3D. Plus, reviews are saying it's tons of fun, which is all good.

Farzan said...

That last part made me crack. Harry Potter & Deathly Hallows: The Part II....LOL. This reminds me of the new Fast and Furious movie simply titled: Fast and Furious.

Zach said...

When I first heard about THE Final Destination, I thought it was a terrible idea. My thoughts are still the same.

Fletch said...

DeeDee - thanks for the heads up; yea, sounds like I'll be skipping Woodstock for sure.

Ceri - your comment about kids in Freddie masks reminds me of the Joker. What would even that character think about the commercialization and homogenization of his image? Kinda sick.

Nick - if the FD franchise flicks are fun, I say more power to 'em. I saw the first one some time age and thought it was pretty good, but never caught any of the sequels. They somehow seem more redundant than most horror sequels, which I think is why the appeal is lost on me.

Farzan & Zach - exactly.