Featured Posts

Aug 3, 2009

Since I was never gonna see it anyway...

I went ahead and read what the TOP SECRET, YOU'LL NEVER GUESS, SUPER-SHOCKING secret to the movie Orphan was (which can be found here, if you're interested in learning for yourself).


All I have to say is, shame on the marketing execs that have slapped that "You'll never guess her secret" tagline on the poster in the hopes of drawing people in to see it (note: ploy failed).

Well, I should certainly hope that no one would guess that! For those that don't want to spoil it for themselves, let me just give you an analogy: it would be as if, at the end of The Sixth Sense, instead of learning that Bruce is just the ghost of a dead dude, you learned that he was an evil inchworm that ate magic ashtrays, thereby taking the shape of a deceased person in the hopes of tricking an 11-year old into giving it his lunch money so that it could buy Tootsie Pops. Or something like that...

Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb. Or maybe I just need to get into making 'horror' movies if that's what's selling these days.


8 people have chosen wisely: on "Since I was never gonna see it anyway..."

RIPE Creative said...

I totally thought this post was a joke, turns out it's not. The movie peeps must be crazy desperate.

blake said...

This didn't look like any good, but when I found out the lame ass secret, I was pissed. Vera Farmiga could win a freaking Oscar if she just quit making such aweful movies.

Paul Arrand Rodgers said...

Better analogy: It's like the twist in the middle of the Village, where you find out that Those Who Must Not Be Spoken Of aren't really Those Who Must Not Be Spoken Of, but are really the town Elders in Those Who Must Not Be Spoken Of costumes, which they made in an effort to spread the myth of Those Who Must Not Be Spoken Of so that the people in the town would have a powerful fear of Those Who Must Not Be Spoken Of; so powerful that they hardly ever wander over that daisy patch, about a mile from the freeway.

Also, being a 30 year old midget doesn't explain the choice of clothes. Way to attract a man, honey.

Fletch said...

You're probably right, blake. Vera seems to have an affinity towards crapola. Of course, if you ask Mrs. Fletch, who saw Vera on some talk show, Ms. Farmiga is a freak of the highest order in her own right. I didn't see it, though, so I can't comment. Though that would help to explain her movie choices. I'm just pissed that Peter Saarsgard, who I like a lot, is also in this trash. He deserves better.

Paul - mock me if you must, but I still like The Village and its twist, however unrealistic it may be, and with whatever gaps in logic must be overlooked. Hell, it's no worse than the alien/water thing (why are all of our analogies based on Shamalamadingdong's movies?).

Rick "The Hat" Bman said...

I also read the twist for The Orphan because I didn't plan on seeing it. My girlfriend and I spent a good 20 minutes laughing about it. Why do they insist on putting crappy twists on movies that don't need them, why can't movies rely on just having a good story.

As for The Village. I liked it too. Granted as soon as I saw the trailer I said to myself, "oh, i bet the twist is that the movie actually takes place in present day and they are just some group of people that have separated themselves from society." I think the fact that I wasn't waiting for the twist because I had already figured it out helped me to enjoy the story being told and I thought it was a pretty well told story.

Farzan said...

LOL, that was hilarious Fletch. I was actually wondering what the secret ending was since its been advertised a boat load on TV. I honestly wasn't expecting that kind of an ending. Its definitely surprising and original when compared to other similar movies. I honestly thought she was an alien.

Ms☆Go (dcmoviegirl) said...

BWAHAHAHAHA!!! That twist?

ACTUALLY MAKES ME WANT TO SEE THE MOIVE. :D

But I'm masochistic like that, soooo...

Wow. *still laughing*