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Jul 24, 2009

TGITDNMAR (7/24/09)

It's that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released.

Pick up a book. Go outside and play frolf. Call your Mom and say "Hi." Pull weeds. Poke yourself with a toothpick until it's dull. Any of these choices are better than the selection of new releases at your local cinema. Proceed with caution...

G-Force
It's a Jerry Bruckheimer-produced movie, so you know Nic Cage has weaseled his way into the cast, practically guaranteeing that any interest I might have ever had (which I never did) disappeared along with his appearance.
But really, Disney? Is this your legacy? Pick a different species each year, make a cutesy movie where said species talks and make boatloads of money off of parents with little other choices for their kids' entertainment? I love Disneyland and grew up loving Disney like everyone else, but this is getting ridiculous. Just shut this crap down and let the guys from Pixar run the entire film division.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 0%

Orphan
(500) Days of Summer finally comes to Phoenix this weekend. In one theater. Meanwhile, this Evil Kid Haunts Parents garbage is opening wide? As much as I like co-star Peter Saarsgard, I must root against this movie with all my heart; it looks gawdawful. To make matters worse, what the hell is up with Saarsgard's movie wife, Vera Farmiga? Starring just two years ago in another Evil Kid Haunts Parents (Joshua) wasn't enough? Bizarre career choice here.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 3%

The Ugly Truth
I looked hard for a reason to give a rat's ankle about this movie. Really, I did. I guess it comes down to you gender and your thoughts on the star of the opposite gender. And yeah, Katherine Heigl's nice to look at, but I'm not in love with her acting or anything, and word on the street is that she's a bit of a bitch. But what do I know? She might be a gentle butterfly who makes pudding for her friends. Either way, she's not enough for me to care about this. Neither is Gerard Butler, for that matter, who seems to have squandered away all of his 300 buzz on crappy movies. Enjoy your upcoming TV series, Gerard.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 2%


4 people have chosen wisely: on "TGITDNMAR (7/24/09)"

Joseph B. said...

Yep, think I'll make the drive downtown to (finally) see "The Hurt Locker" this week. Horrible slate of movies.

Jason Soto said...

I forget you don't like horror movies for some reason. I personally am looking forward to The Orphan. It looks pretty fucked up. And plus it's a R-Rated horror movie!! FINALLY!!! We haven't had one of those in like a million years!
And plus even if it's bad, I still win so yay for me or something.
-Jason

Paul Arrand Rodgers said...

I'll likely see the Orphan eventually. For an Evil Kid movie, it has scored surprisingly well on the tomometer.

Chris Mollo said...

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