TGITDNMAR (5/22/09)

It's that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released.

Two major releases in the same weekend? The hell you say! This year seems to have been defined by there being one surefire chart-topper each week, surrounded by a bunch of wannabes. However, with a PG-13 Terminator and the family-friendly Museum franchise hitting theaters at the same time, we have out first legitimate battle of the summer on our hands. I say action beats out comedy/family fare, but we'll see - this year has been heavy on action and short on kiddie flicks, so perhaps this'll be the weekend where all the parents head out in droves.

Terminator Salvation
Yeah, I already saw this (see review below), so not only is the suspense all gone, but I even did that rare thing - I wrote my review for it the same night. OMG!!!

So...now I'm more or less out of things to say about it. I guess I'll echo a complaint that Mrs. Fletch had: where the hell was the groovy Nine Inch Nails song from the trailer, man? What's the deal? It would've fit perfectly into the gritty, dark, grey world that McG created, but no...all we got was Alice in Chains and some rehashed G 'n' R song! No talent ass clowns!

Ok, that was 99% fake hostility (I liked the songs that were used in the film), but the fact remains: they should have wedged that NIN song in there somewhere, just as Watchmen should've found a way to get its kickass trailer song (Muse's "Take a Bow") into it.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 100%

Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian
Aka, the "battle for the longest title in film history." Say what you will about Stiller and his run of mildly amusing comedies, but there's not a ton to hate about this series. No, it's not groundbreaking (or, again, very funny for anyone over the age of 12), but it's mildly educational for the kiddies and doesn't bang you over the head with stupid. I'm sure I'll watch it (and rewatch it again and again) when it hits HBO...but I have no plans to see it before then.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 13%

Dance Flick
I've learned my lesson with the "___ Movie" movies, and Wayans or no Wayans, I won't be fooled again. That said, this one does look to be many times funnier than the recent entries to the "genre" (which, I know, have not involved the Wayans) have been (I'm looking at you, Epic Movie and Meet the Spartans; I've been lucky enough to have avoided Disaster Movie altogether). It's also nice to see the next generation of Wayans getting in on the act, though I'd like to see Damon and/or Keenan Ivory be funny and relevant again.

And if you were counting, that's 4 times that the word "Wayans" was typed in the above paragraph. If you bet the over, you won!
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 9%