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Apr 15, 2009

Fletch's Film Review: Duplicity

Mrs. Fletch did not like Duplicity. In fact, she cared so little about it that she instead spent her time mentally logging these 13 random facts about our experience in the theater:

1. Paul Giamatti has low gums.
2. The glasses Giamatti wore, although not his style, brough a nice uplift to his face.
3. Is that a piece of mascara under Julia Roberts eye, or is that a mole or what?
4. Julia Roberts has no philtrum.
5. Why am I getting lost in this movie because I never get lost in movies...oh right, it's because I don't care.
6. Clive Owen has a thin body with a larger than normal head.
7. Julia Roberts has a normal body with a thin head.
8. Julia Roberts has a big ol' 3-D mole on her back.
9. I wish Fletch would stop playing with his fingers as that's really taking me out of the movie.
10. Julia Roberts kinda sorta walks like a horse.
11. Julia Roberts may be paler than I am.
12. I'm glad I didn't wear a v-neck shirt because this way I can't get popcorn down my shirt.
13. I feel bad for Emma Stone for having to take the role as the Ghost of Girlfriends Past in that awful-looking Matthew McConnaughey movie.

Clearly, the film didn't have enough furry woodland creatures to keep her engaged. As for me, I enjoyed it. For a Steven Soderbergh ripoff, Tony Gilroy does a pretty good job, even managing to pull off a feat I'd have never thought possible: he made the world of Dove and Johnson & Johnson look downright exciting. Nothing says capitalism like multi-national companies spending more on spy games than many countries probably do.

I'm sure that, somewhere amidst the campy fun that Paul Giamatti and Tom Wilkinson had playing uber-paranoid CEOs and the better-than-expected chemistry between stars Clive Owen and Julia Roberts, there's an important lesson to be learned about interpersonal relationships and how paramount trust is. However, I'm afraid it still wasn't enough to keep me from busting out a brand new edition of the soon to be famous Fletch's Stick Figure Synopsis©:

Fletch's Film Rating:
"Darn tootin!"

8 people have chosen wisely: on "Fletch's Film Review: Duplicity"

Jess said...

Your stick figures totally summed up the movie. I agree with most of Mrs. Fletch's thoughts during the movie - the others i didn't notice. I was told by someone leaving the flick that it was so confusing they couldn't follow it, so I particularly concentrated and it was REAlLY boring because of that.

Ed Howard said...

I enjoyed the stick figure version WAY more than I enjoyed the actual movie. Mostly a total waste of time. There were some scattered interesting moments in the last 20 minutes or so, but by that point who the hell cares.

PIPER said...

I think maybe I would have enjoyed this movie alongside your wife. I really wanted it to be an Out Of Sight or a Get Shorty, but it wasn't.

Julia Roberts does walk like a horse, and if I may say, I've found her a bit more sexy in her later years - because she's... you know... roomier. But her lips are beginning to take over her body.

Anyway, the best part of this movie is the opening slo-mo of Wilkinson and Giamatti.

Farzan said...

Funny stick figers. I thought the movie was pretty good. Nothing special, but not bad either.

Fletch said...

Ok, Jess - now all you have to do is watch it again with your brain turned off. ;)

Ed - thanks! I think that's the general consensus when it comes to the Stick Figure Synopsis - it packs 120 minutes into just a few frames and a microscopic budget! What's not to love?

Piper - are making a pass at Mrs. Fletch? I'll bet you'd have enjoyed the movie sitting next to her, but sorry buddy, this ain't the 70s, and I'm not into wife swapping.

I tend to think that if one saw Julia Roberts on the streets today, one would think that she was a scary motherf*#!er. Her fact is way too damn thin. The last movie she looked good in was the first Ocean's. Pregnancy does not suit her well or something...though the bigger boobs don't hurt.

Farzan - I'm with you. It wasn't as good as it could have been, but I was engaged and mildly entertained.

PIPER said...

Whoah, whoah, whoah, whoah.

Wait a minute. Word is that you guys were swingers. As in to swing. That Mrs. Fletch was a T.I.G.E.R.

My apologies.

Fletch said...

No, no, no - you got it all wrong. She's a liger, not a tiger. She's pretty much the coolest animal ever.

Reel Whore said...

Love the stick figures. I recall being fascinated by a lot of Roberts's foibles like Mrs. Fletch.