Fletch's Favored Five Ten: Christmas Songs

Fletch's Favored Five (or ten) is back? It's a Festivus miracle! That's right - just in time for Christmas, I bring you my ten favorite Christmas songs. Some you most likely love, some you might hate, and some you just might have never heard before (like maybe number one...). Either way, you should totally be a hipster and legally purchase these from your local interweb music peddler and then transfer them to an electronic audio device capable of playing them back to you while you drive your body or car around town. It will have you so full of the Christmas Spirit you'll be spitting candy canes at people and smelling like pine needles whenever you scratch yourself.

Quick disclaimer: I'm not counting down any generic versions or saying that "Jingle Bells > It Came Upon a Midnight Clear" or anything; this list is of specific songs, made special by the unique artists that performed and/or wrote them.

Honorable mentions:
* "Ave Maria" by Chris Cornell & Eleven
* "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch" by Thurl Ravenscroft (the original version)
* "Santa Claus and his Old Lady" by Cheech and Chong
* "Jingle Bell Rock" by Bobby Helms

10. "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" by Bruce Springsteen
I'm actually not a big fan of the Boss, and as Mrs. Fletch likes to say, the guy really can't sing that well at all, but there's something about the passion with which he sings this that totally sells me on it (and gets me singing along with him in my own terrible voice). The hilariously retarded banter at the beginning rules, too. Keep practicing on that saxophone, Clarence! (Damn it all, I can't find the video with the banter...this'll have to do.)



9. "The Christmas Song" by Nat King Cole
Though I respect this song as one of the great Christmas songs, this is more of a collective nod to the King, as I'm a sucker for some of his other songs that I heard as a kid and still love ("Mrs. Santa Claus," "Happiest Christmas Tree").

8. "Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives
Sure, Hermey and Rudolph and Yukon Cornelius are great (ok, especially Y.C.), but the real reason that claymation Rudolph special remains a hit some 300 years later is the hipster singing and facial hair (on a snowman?) stylings of one Burl Ives. "Holly Jolly" rocks the house, and always will. Or maybe the appeal was the Charley-in-a-box; I always liked that guy, too...

This might not be the best version of the song, but at least you can check out his Trotsky-esque look:



7. "O Tannenbaum" by the Vince Guaraldi Trio
Which is better - this or #3? Obviously, I've made my decision...but it wasn't exactly an easy one.

6. "12 Days of Christmas" by Bob and Doug McKenzie (aka Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas)
Just brilliant. It's not Christmas without hearing this and the Cheech & Chong one listed above. And no, I'll never spell "tooques" right, but I'll always wish I had one (or five).



5. "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" by Brenda Lee
Along with "Jingle Bell Rock," Nat's "Christmas Song" and any number of older-yet-popular Christmas songs, this one's bordering on overuse/overplay...yet I still love it. Same goes for the (other) King's "Blue Christmas" and just about every other song on that Billboard Christmas album. If I recall correctly, this song was also prominently featured in Home Alone, which earns it bonus points.

4. "Sleigh Ride" by Leroy Anderson
An underrated gem. It's all about the instrumental, orchestral version, but I'll give some credit to the Ronettes' take as well - it's strong. Bonus: if you're a Seinfeld geek like me, you just might think of Rusty with the beginning whinney by the horse.

3. "Christmas Time Is Here" by the Vince Guaraldi Trio

Just as Ives elevated Rudolph to a new level, Vince Guaraldi took an already poignant, sweet Christmas story and heaped loads of class and a big helping of timelessness to the proceedings. This is the gem.

2. "Christmas Wrapping" by The Waitresses

A 1982 New Wave single by a two-hit wonder ("I Know What Boys Like")? You bet. For anyone that was ever in their 20s, single and otherwise alone for the holidays, or for anyone who can imagine what that might be like.

1. "Fairytale of New York" by The Pogues
Don't tell me you've never heard this. Just don't do it. A gorgeous, not-really-a-Christmas song by the kings of the Irish folk/rock/punk fusion revival (or something like that). Obscene, touching, full of talent and slightly disgusting - just like frontman Shane MacGowan. Check out those teeth!

And finally, an unranked shout-out to the album that I probably love the most and listen to the most every Christmas. It's the unlikeliest of sources, but I guess whatever you grow up with is what you end up loving in most cases. In this one, it's Ray Conniff and his singers. In this video (circa...I have no idea - 1964?), Ray and the gang are lip-syncing to a medley from the album We Wish You a Merry Christmas. So unironical that it goes beyond funny and then back again. But don't you dare say a bad word about it...