TGITDNMAR (8/1/08)

It's that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released.

You know, August has always had a terrible reputation in film land, and it's mostly earned, what with it bringing us such classics as Rush Hour 3, Daddy Day Camp, The Invasion, and Pulse in recent years. However, while I was all set to blast August for being an awful blight upon the rest of the year, I found that a number of great films have come out in the eighth month over the years, among them: Superbad, The 40 Year Old Virgin and The Bourne Ultimatum along with indie hits like The King of Kong, 2 Days in Paris, The Nines and Code 46.

So, with my eyes opened somewhat to the potential of August, let's have a look at 2008's first offerings.

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
The voice-over in the trailer for this cracks me up. It goes something like this: "1,000 years ago, Jet Li let his posse of bad guys across the world, conquering everything in their wake. Now, he's been awakened..." and it's right there that I think to myself "to a world with much, much more advanced weaponry that could obliterate his tiny ass in a matter of minutes."

But I guess that would take the fun out of the movie, if there's any to be had. I'll wait to catch it on TNT or something to find out.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 0%, unless we openly want to see a bad movie (which would probably give me some good material here, but probably won't happen).

Swing Vote
This political comedy that feels a lot like a companion to Robin Williams' Man of the Year stars a number of underappreciated actors, from star Kevin Costner (who can be very appealing in these "aw shucks" roles) to Stanley Tucci to Kelsey Grammer, George Lopez and even Nathan Lane (annoying at times or not, he brought us two of the more memorable characters from the 90s in the form of The Lion King's Timon and The Birdcage's Albert Goldman).

Though I've not seen as much as a trailer for this, with the combination of our having seen most of the major new releases and our local indie theater not yet carrying the films I want to see (Tell No One, for example), I could easily be talked into this one.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 60%, or less than the odds that Lane screams at least three times during the film.

The Midnight Meat Train
We have a Brooke Shields sighting!

I hadn't even heard of this until about 4 days ago. Then again, horror's not really my bag. That said, I've been waiting for Vinnie Jones to get a good role since, oh I don't know...Snatch, which was his third film (and was 8 years ago).
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 8%, or worse than the chance that someone tells me that he was great in X3.